Dealing with negative emotions

I have been experiencing a strange feeling lately, like if something wrong is about to happen. I am going about my daily routine, minding my own business, when I suddenly feel an ache in my chest, get depressed, and feel the desire to cry. 

I have ignored that feeling for a few days but it is just that with every day that goes away I become more unhappy and anxious, not knowing what terrible event is going to happen.

I thought that this is getting out of hand, and I need to talk to someone about it. Just as I was ready to tell my friend about it, she informed me that she was feeling the same way, and that she, too, gets depressed for no obvious reason.

Then I considered informing my mother, and the strange thing is that she was just as unhappy as I was. She seemed depressed as well, but when I inquired as to why, she replied that she believes something awful is about to happen as well. Now, I’m not sure why this sensation is shared by these women in my life, or if we’re all simply too anxious for this life, but I trust my intuition, and I feel like I have no power over what will happen.

Ways to cope and stop the chronic worrying

Identify your main worry – and then, write it down so you can see it. Most of the time, we just disregard our ‘minor’ concerns and go about our daily lives without giving them much thought. If it hurts you and takes up a lot of space in your thoughts, you should take care of it. Take a scratch, for example. Since you know it’s painful, you disinfect it and apply a bandage to avoid infection. If not treated immediately, life scratches can lead to severe infections too.

Wipe them away – If you’ve already been through the first phase and identified the bad feeling, and arrived at the conclusion that it’s nothing serious, just wipe them away. Think of these thoughts like clouds in the sky: just passing your mind like clouds pass across the sky, obscuring the sun.

Face reality and be brave – Hiding behind worries and allowing anxiety to invade your life is not the solution. If there is something you can do about it, do it. Perhaps it’s time to move closer to the things that make you uncomfortable and find out that they’re not as disagreeable as you imagined.

Relax – Instead of allowing your unreal anxieties to dictate your life, do something you love doing. Read a book, go for a walk in the park, draw, talk to a friend, or pray/ meditate.

Exercise – It has been proven that aerobic activity reduces stress hormones, provides you strength, and enables you to cope better with negative emotions.

Most importantly, if you’re like me and have others around you who are experiencing the same negative emotions and feelings as you, understand your feelings and then help them as well. This may appear to be an extra task, but once you’ve dealt with your difficulties, focusing on someone else’s may offer you a feeling of purpose and can chase the blues away.

And if the inevitable happens, as Charles Jones once said, things don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.

(Image Source – Unsplash, Toni Reed)

Pandemic events

Yesterday, I had to attend a baby shower party for one of our friends. It was the first event after a long period of pandemic and concern. One thing I really couldn’t get over was the clumsiness and social awkwardness that exacerbated it all. We were there for a special occasion, but because of all the rules and Pandemic hysteria, I remember that we weren’t able to fully enjoy ourselves or cheer for the birth of that child.

We were 50 guests, with 6 people at the table, spread at a visible distance. I recall light music in the background, curious stares, and a feeling of confusion and disorder. Though the organizers did their hardest to keep us entertained and present at the activity, I could read in the guest’s eyes the fear of attending such an event after a long time of stagnation. The food offered was delicious and I could tell that the people present were nice and warm, although we couldn’t interact that much.

Also, as with any event that took place during the pandemic, we had police coming by to make sure that the activity was in compliance with the laws and that no one was dancing or bending the law. It looked as though we were committing a crime and like we were suspects, albeit following laws. As kids at home in our early years, playing some silly games when our parents came and criticized our lack of sense and morality.

We didn’t shake hands, hug, or kissed on our cheeks, as it was against the rules. We simply fist-bumped and smiled, acknowledging the present situation.

Cruel reality

This pandemic has turned our world upside down, and it’s difficult to tell if we’re ever going to be able to get back to the way it used to be. There’s no perfect day for the baby shower, wedding, or any other occasion with people gathering. It’s just an event that needs to be handled according to tradition, with fewer people and more restrictions.

This Pandemic made us realize the amount of things we take for granted in life, not to mention, life itself. These occurrences are just a small reminder that our life is precious and that we should cherish it with all that we have and honor it, even though it means having to adhere to regulations.

At the end of the day, it’s important to mark the date, be thankful that we’ve been able to see our loved ones, and have a quiet sit down, appreciating the amount of things that we are still left with.

Because we have to let go

Time has flown away since the last post. Everything appeared to vanish so soon in this quarantine that I don’t even know when it occurred and most importantly, if all of it was just a bad dream.

I was telling you in the last post that my cousin, Costel has passed away recently. His death was more of a shock to me because I could not believe it was true. 

Things just happened in such a rush and very unexpectedly, and the worst part is that I could not do anything to prevent it or at least, lead him on his last road.

He was eventually brought back from the hospital and buried yesterday, without any funeral services. There were only a handful of people that led him to his grave, way too soon than anyone can expect.

I was just put in the face with the harsh reality, and had to accept it. That night when I heard the news I could not sleep and stayed awake until 6 AM in the morning. I kept thinking about the death and my parents, and family, and felt bad that I was not able to protect them.

What worries me more, is that a hospital near my parent’s house holds 369 infected persons and patients (with Covid-19), some of the affected ones being neighbors and close friends of the family.

This virus keeps us away from the ones that we love and sometimes is just so hard to bear and to wait, and do nothing. We get to see the life happening in front of our eyes, but don’t have the power to interfere and to change things. It breaks my heart when I realize that staying apart is the best way we can protect them. I was never good at staying apart.

A few pieces of advice

At this moment, everything that I can do, that WE can do is to stay apart and pray. God is the only one that can help us get through these moments, and it’s important to realize that we are not alone.

And if our family members, friends, and colleagues are being affected by the virus and even taken away, let’s be thankful and appreciate the moments that we spent together.

Let’s realize that the persons that have died, are not dead in our heart, and they will only pass away if we forget them. We cannot lose what we have enjoyed deeply once, because all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.

It’s important to understand that it’s not the length of life that matters, but the depth of it. Rumi said that „Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.”

Be brave, be strong

Let’s allow our lives to reflect the faith that we have in God. Fear nothing and pray about everything. We often forget to pray and say thank you when good happens, but isn’t God with us when good things happen as well?

It’s time to be courageous in a situation like this when everyone around us feels lost. Let’s be willing to push through fear, in spite of feeling it so heavy. Step up, and lead ourselves, let’s be brave because we can.

We fail to realize that strength doesn’t come from winning, but from struggles and hardships that we go through in this life. When dark times come, like the pandemic, let’s not give up. Let’s be strong, trust the process and God, because every battle prepares us for the next war.

Song of the Day #40

Reality – Lost Frequencies

Decisions as I go, to anywhere I flow
Sometimes I believe, at times I’m rational
I can fly high, I can go low
Today I got a million, tomorrow I don’t know

Decisions as I go, to anywhere I flow
Sometimes I believe, at times I’m rational
I can fly high, I can go low
Today I got a million, tomorrow, I don’t know

Stop claiming what you own, don’t think about the show
We’re all playing the same game, laying down alone
We’re unknown and known, special and a clone
Hate will make you cautious, love will make you glow

Make me feel the warm, make me feel the cold
It’s written in our story, it’s written on the walls
This is our call, we rise and we fall
Dancin’ in the moonlight, don’t we have it all?

Decisions as I go, to anywhere I flow
Sometimes I believe, at times I’m rational
I can fly high, I can go low
Today I got a million, tomorrow, I don’t know

Make me feel the warm, make me feel the cold
It’s written in our story, it’s written on the walls
This is our call, we rise and we fall
Dancin’ in the moonlight, don’t we have it all?

Image Source – Unsplash