Conversations with God – Book Review

I made a request for God to show up for me. Not in the traditional sense of church, and certainly not in a frightening sense, where there were dread, punishment, and boundaries. Simply put, God, help me comprehend the fundamentals of Christianity in a way that I can understand both mentally and emotionally.

Not long after, I listened to a podcast on the book Conversations with God, and how it was a partial infringement of faith and how, although it may hold certain truths, it challenges others. See, I didn’t ask God for a conclusive answer; instead, I asked Him to disclose the truth that my heart will understand and experience at that moment in my life.

There was a journey there; I didn’t get to listen to the book right away, but after being reminded and searching for it on Audible a few months later. Who knows, maybe God knew I wouldn’t agree with everything if I wasn’t prepared sooner.

I was immediately taken aback by the clarity and honesty this book had. It addressed issues of love, faith, life, and death, both good and evil. Most importantly, I got to experience what I truly wanted to hear, what I knew God felt for me but hadn’t been able to express out loud thus far.

I have heard the crying of your heart. I have seen the searching of your soul. I know how deeply you have desired the Truth. In pain have you called out for it, and in joy. Unendingly have you beseeched Me. Show Myself. Explain Myself. Reveal Myself.

What I liked about the book was the author’s genuine take, and how he, as a human, approached God humbly and narrowly, not knowing where to begin. It reminded me of my younger self, who didn’t know how to approach God but was filled with love.

It also showed God as the cooler person – do we ever pause to consider God in this light? We’re so quick to blame Him for everything that goes wrong that we forget we’re His children and that He loves us so much.

I liked how Neale Donald Walsch demonstrated that God has a sense of humor and that He laughs and cries with everyone, being there in all moments of our lives, even when He’s growing us and it becomes uncomfortable.

This book showed me the reason I love God and why I feel the love I do for Him. It revealed who’s I was and reminded me of my mission and why I needed to be the bigger person.

Favorite passages from the book:

“I’ve searched for the path to God all my life— I know you have— —and now I’ve found it and I can’t believe it. It feels like I’m sitting here, writing this to myself. You are.”

“Every heart which earnestly asks, Which is the path to God? is shown. Each is given a heartfelt Truth. Come to Me along the path of your heart, not through a journey of your mind. You will never find Me in your mind.”

“If you have but the faith of a mustard seed, you shall move mountains.”

„Ultimately, all thoughts are sponsored by love or fear. This is the great polarity. This is the primal duality. Everything, ultimately, breaks down to one of these. All thoughts, ideas, concepts, understandings, decisions, choices, and actions are based in one of these. And, in the end, there is really only one. Love.”

“People are constantly changing and growing. Do not cling to a limited disconnected, negative image of a person in the past. See that person now. Your relationship is always alive and changing.”

“For you are the creator of your reality, and life can show up no other way for you than that way in which you think it will.”

“Emotion is energy in motion. When you move energy, you create effect. If you move enough energy, you create matter. Matter is energy conglomerated. Moved around. Shoved together. If you manipulate energy long enough in a certain way, you get matter. Every Master understands this law. It is the alchemy of the universe. It is the secret of all life.”

“The voice within is the loudest voice with which I speak, because it is the closest to you. It is the voice which tells you whether everything else is true or false, right or wrong, good or bad as you have defined it. It is the radar that sets the course, steers the ship, guides the journey if you but let it.”

„Through you, I can know every aspect of Me. The perfection of the snowflake, the awesome beauty of the rose, the courage of lions, the majesty of eagles, all resides in you. In you I have placed all of these things—and one thing more: the consciousness to be aware of it.”

„You’ve moved away from each other. You’ve torn apart your families, disassembled your smaller communities in favor of huge cities. In these big cities there are more people, but fewer “tribes,” groups, or clans whose members see their responsibility as including responsibility for the whole. So, in effect, you have no elders. None at arm’s reach, in any event.”

„Yet I tell you this: So long as you are still worried about what others think of you, you are owned by them.”

„Whatever you choose for yourself, give to another. If you choose to be happy, cause another to be happy. If you choose to be prosperous, cause another to prosper.”

Publicitate

Does that honor me?

This question came up a few weeks ago and stuck with me. How many of the things we do every day honor us as people, let alone as women?

I’ve witnessed countless examples on WordPress and in real-life interactions. I believe that we bend our ideas to fit others who think they are better than everyone else.

I find it common nowadays to interact with other bloggers, and while I find it pleasurable since I’m reading and learning new things, at the same time, it can feel forced. We’re purely subjective and treat the matter based on our experiences.

Some people may disagree and take our words personally. If you’ve been reading my blog and following me for a while, you may be familiar with my comments and realize that I’m respectful and assess the situation in a gentler way based on my views.

I’ve witnessed an example when my viewpoint irritated the person in charge, but she didn’t address the matter directly with me and instead asked two other people to intervene with comments unrelated to the subject, informally.

This occurred yesterday, and I was at a loss for words. I found myself in a 5+ comment thread and wasn’t sure if their comments were directed to me or the topic. Needless to say, I felt left out and didn’t understand what happened, so I chose to laugh it off, unfollow that particular blogger, and move on with my life.

The author responded to the others in the thread while entirely ignoring my activity, and there was another person in the same circumstance, which she took personally and responded to in a 300+ row explanation. Now, my question is, is it worth it? Does that honor us? I don’t think so.

I discovered that we spend too much time thinking about others and base our ideas on what is outside. Growing up in a low-vibration atmosphere and experiencing similar bullying practices, and observing how others may boast and attempt to pull you down to make themselves feel capable, has already worn its coat.

These situations no longer impact me, and I choose to let them go. Sure, I’m not comfortable confronting past wounds, but they’re scars by now, and I’ve learned my worth and which things to allow, and which to block.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, it is essential to coexist peacefully with everyone. It is preferable to ignore an insult and be prudent rather than overthinking and allowing unsettling events to occur in your life. It is preferable to treat people as we would like to be treated.

I’ll conclude this post with Psalm 37:1-40:

37 Fret not yourself because of evildoers;
    be not envious of wrongdoers!
² For they will soon fade like the grass
    and wither like the green herb.

³ Trust in the Lord, and do good;
    dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.^[b]
4 Delight yourself in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

⁵ Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him, and he will act.
⁶ He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
    and your justice as the noonday.

⁷ Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;
    fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way,
    over the man who carries out evil devices!

⁸ Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath!
    Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.
⁹ For the evildoers shall be cut off,
    but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.

¹⁰ In just a little while, the wicked will be no more;
    though you look carefully at his place, he will not be there.
¹¹ But the meek shall inherit the land
    and delight themselves in abundant peace.

¹² The wicked plots against the righteous
    and gnashes his teeth at him,
¹³ but the Lord laughs at the wicked,
    for he sees that his day is coming.

¹⁴ The wicked draw the sword and bend their bows
    to bring down the poor and needy,
    to slay those whose way is upright;
¹⁵ their sword shall enter their own heart,
    and their bows shall be broken.

¹⁶ Better is the little that the righteous has
    than the abundance of many wicked.
¹⁷ For the arms of the wicked shall be broken,
    but the Lord upholds the righteous.

¹⁸ The Lord knows the days of the blameless,
    and their heritage will remain forever;
¹⁹ they are not put to shame in evil times;
    in the days of famine they have abundance.

²⁰ But the wicked will perish;
    the enemies of the Lord are like the glory of the pastures;
    they vanish—like smoke they vanish away.

²¹ The wicked borrows but does not pay back,
    but the righteous is generous and gives;
²² for those blessed by the Lord^[c] shall inherit the land,
    but those cursed by him shall be cut off.

²³ The steps of a man are established by the Lord,
    when he delights in his way;
²⁴ though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong,
    for the Lord upholds his hand.

²⁵ I have been young, and now am old,
    yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken
    or his children begging for bread.
²⁶ He is ever lending generously,
    and his children become a blessing.

²⁷ Turn away from evil and do good;
    so shall you dwell forever.
²⁸ For the Lord loves justice;
    he will not forsake his saints.
They are preserved forever,
    but the children of the wicked shall be cut off.
²⁹ The righteous shall inherit the land
    and dwell upon it forever.

³⁰ The mouth of the righteous utters wisdom,
    and his tongue speaks justice.
³¹ The law of his God is in his heart;
    his steps do not slip.

³² The wicked watches for the righteous
    and seeks to put him to death.
³³ The Lord will not abandon him to his power
    or let him be condemned when he is brought to trial.

³⁴ Wait for the Lord and keep his way,
    and he will exalt you to inherit the land;
    you will look on when the wicked are cut off.

³⁵ I have seen a wicked, ruthless man,
    spreading himself like a green laurel tree.^[d]
36 But he passed away,^[e] and behold, he was no more;
    though I sought him, he could not be found.

³⁷ Mark the blameless and behold the upright,
    for there is a future for the man of peace.
³⁸ But transgressors shall be altogether destroyed;
    the future of the wicked shall be cut off.

³⁹ The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord;
    he is their stronghold in the time of trouble.
⁴⁰ The Lord helps them and delivers them;
    he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,
    because they take refuge in him.

The Big Leap – Book Review

I finished reading this book a few days ago. The book addresses the Upper Limit problem. The author Gay Hendricks presented the idea that there is a perceived capital we place on how much job success, prosperity, happiness, love, and more we allow ourselves to have in this life.

When things start exceeding that limit, our subconscious mind strives to undermine us in order to return us to our familiar comfort zones. The author offers real-life examples to help us recognize the problem in our daily lives. As I read this book, I discovered that there had been times in my life when the Upper Limit gained control.

Gay Hendricks shared the following ways we can upper-limit ourselves:

1. Worry – The author talked about how it’s merely an attempt to keep us from being joyful if it’s not about something actual that we can act on right away. – From a personal perspective, I liked how he also suggested replacing that scarcity thinking with something higher that might divert us from impeding our success and happiness. At the same time, I enjoyed his analogy of worrying as a slot machine; while it is designed to fail most of the time, it may strike the jackpot and convert fear into a reality. Thinking negative might cause this, and he urged us to drop it and look for the positive that is trying to come through.
2.  Criticism – Usually, what you are condemning someone for is not the real issue. If it’s not „Please stop standing on my foot right now,” it’s just a method to avoid being too happy. -This advice genuinely enraged me because I saw how I would criticize someone for flaws I recognized in myself, and how I felt I was correct at the time.
3.  Deflection. Accept the compliment even if you believe you sucked. If you must, add your „I wish I had done better __” at the end AFTER you’ve allowed the good in. – The deflection point was also eye-opening in other ways; it highlighted how often we avoid the positive aspects of our life in favor of the negative.
4.  Arguing – It talked about how we should keep the right perspective and avoid arguing or meaningless conversations. Fights are about who’s the bigger victim, we are not victims and shouldn’t fight to occupy that space.
5.  Injuries and illness. Some are obviously real, but many are created by our own imaginations to punish, protect, or avoid something. – This reminded me of one of my former college colleagues who was suffering from a specific ailment but couldn’t figure out what was wrong or what was causing it. The doctors couldn’t detect any problems, but she wasn’t feeling well. It turned out that it was all invented by her own imagination in order to occupy the victim’s role and gain attention.

I also enjoyed the part which focused on the switch from Newtonian Time to Einsteinian Time. Time does not exist outside of me; I create it. I am the source of time. I have the capacity to generate as much as I need. When I say I don’t have time for anything, it’s because I don’t want to do it. What am I not accepting responsibility for?

This made me reflect on myself when I was working in the customer service department. I seemed to have difficulty getting the bus and arriving at work on time. Everything changed when I realized I was the essence of time, and that I could have as much time as I wanted and more if I just controlled my schedule better and let time be.

Conclusion

This book made me ponder a lot of things in life and helped me comprehend patterns that lie behind human behavior. It made me remember some of my earlier interactions that looked coded. I’ve noticed a lot of unfavorable reviews about this book, but I feel that if you focus on your growth and genuinely desire to improve yourself, you’ll hear what matters.

I liked the intricate nature of the stories, and how the author included examples from his own life experience, some of which were truly amusing and delightful to digest. This is more of a strategy book, a practice book if you will; it isn’t concerned to caress your feelings, as most self-help books are.

They’re meant to pique your interest and push you out of your comfort zone; they lecture your ego and force it to surface. I’ve met books like this before; „The Secret of Attractions” by Sandra Anne Taylor cut the chase for me, but I understood. I didn’t enjoy the book, and I didn’t feel comfortable finishing it, so I put it aside and moved on.

There are times in life when you feel ready to take on a project like this, and times when you want to throw in the towel and let it go. It’s about embracing where you are and allowing yourself to progress in steps.

As usual, I’ll leave you with some lines from the book that stuck with me:

There is something important you should know about the Upper Limit Problem: when you attain higher levels of success, you often create personal dramas in your life that cloud your world with unhappiness and prevent you from enjoying your enhanced success. This is the Upper Limit Problem at work.

The best advice I can give you is to take big, easy breaths when you feel fear. Feel the fear instead of pretending it’s not there. Celebrate it with a big breath, just the way you’d celebrate your birthday by taking a big breath and blowing out all the candles on your cake. Do that, and your fear turns into excitement. Do it more, and your excitement turns into exhilaration. I find it very empowering to know that I’m in charge of the exhilaration I feel as I go through life. I bet you will, too.

If you focus for a moment, you can always find someplace in you that feels good right now. Your task is to give the expanding positive feeling your full attention. When you do, you will find that it expands with your attention. Let yourself enjoy it as long as you possibly can. As you get more practice, you will be able to use this radical act of appreciation in other areas such as money and love.

Don’t shine too much, or you’ll make others feel bad or look bad. The gifted child is often convicted of stealing attention from other members of the family. One unconscious solution gifted children devise is to turn down the volume on their genius so the others don’t feel threatened by it. The other solution is to continue to shine brightly but turn down the volume on their enjoyment of it.

Many physical symptoms such as headache and back pain are warning signs, like the flapping and wobble of a flat tire when you’re driving on the highway. The symptoms are saying, Slow down, stop what you’re doing, and pay attention, because there’s something out of integrity here.

Here’s the bottom line on prevention and protection: when you suffer symptoms of illness or experience an accident, you often do so because you’re unconsciously trying to prevent yourself from having to do something you don’t really want to do and/or protect yourself from something you don’t want to feel.

In my life, I’ve discovered that if I cling to the notion that something’s not possible, I’m arguing in favor of limitation. And if I argue for my limitations, I get to keep them. 

Song of the Day #75

Today I went back to prayer. It’s been some time since I haven’t communicated well with Him and it felt so good and refreshing. Shortly after I finished praying, an unexpected change from work occurred, and they wanted me to take my vacation sooner. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

God often breaks into our lives through unexpected events beyond our control. When we’re unable to ask for what feels right in our hearts, He will take care of that for us.

Romans 8:28: And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Today I realized that no matter how many times I make mistakes or fall short, God is always there to help me get back on track. The goodness of God has never failed me, as CeCe Williams so beautifully describes, and I feel his hand on my shoulders whenever I need Him, even when I don’t call on Him. He’s aware, and he’s already on his way to deliver me.

Dailies #9

Today is a great day. Notice the beautiful birds that conjure the sky in marvelous dances, soaring higher and higher. Take a moment to enjoy the incredible, fresh summer air. Allow yourself to return to your authentic self by letting go of overthinking and what happened yesterday.

Dare to take space, and don’t allow others’ ideas and unsettling emotions to weigh you down; it’s their problem. Dare to laugh, to feel good in your own skin, even if it means chuckling in public and being followed by curious eyes. Stand firm and continue on your path, and don’t let anybody intimidate you.

Make use of the current moment. Examine your surroundings. Become familiar with every corner you haven’t explored yet, and get lost, to find yourself again, wiser and more capable.

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(Image Source – Personal library)

Twenty-Five Twenty-One – Kdrama review

One of my fellow bloggers recommended this Korean drama to me. I liked the trailer and was intrigued by the concept.

The story is written in-window, and it depicts Na Hee-Do’s little daughter, Kim Min-Chae, who refuses to pursue her Ballet passion because she feels intimidated by the competition. The little girl withdraws from her mother’s intense focus into her grandmother’s warm hug, hoping to forget what took place and find a new interest to pursue.

As she spends time in the countryside, Kim Min-Chae finds her mother’s diary from her childhood. A new life materializes before her eyes, and she is dragged within.

She meets young Na-Hee Do, a student in high school fencing club. The high school fencing team is disbanded due to the South Korean financial crisis. Despite opposition, Na-Hee Do is deeply impacted by the incident and desires to continue pursuing her passion.

The high school trainer is not supportive of her efforts, and her mother has distanced herself from Na-Hee Do because of her lucrative job as a TV news anchor. Their relationship is icy, and her mother seldom acknowledges her daughter’s improvement at fencing.

Na-Hee Do looks up to Ko Yu-Rim, a former fencing opponent from her youth. Na-Hee Do does not recall this since it contradicts with her father’s unexpected death when everything changed dramatically for her. Na-Hee Do enters the school of her idol, Ko Yu-Rim, and seeks to fit in. The girls first become enemies, competing for the gold prize while secretly rooting for each other.

The South Korean financial crisis causes Back Yi-Jin’s father’s company to go bankrupt. Back Yi-Jin’s life is transformed from that of an affluent person to that of a poor person as a result of this.

His story is heartbreaking, as the situation leads him to take responsibility for the bankruptcy, and he is forced to skip college and later military service in order to support his family, which is now fragmented. He works part-time jobs like newspaper delivery while studying for a better profession.

Na-Hee Do and Back Yi-Jin meet by chance and grow close over time. Their connection is effervescent and vibrant, both of them inspiring each other to grow together in the face of adversity.

The Kdrama brings together additional characters who bring the film to life and make it whole. Na-Hee Do, Ko Yu-Rim, Back Yi-Jin, and two other high school students, Moon Ji-Woong and Ji Seung-Wan, eventually become close friends and make the most of their high school years.

The narrative includes both the teen’s interactions and obstacles, as well as Kim Min-Chae and the adult Na Hee Do’s relationship, which evolves thanks the diary’s presence.

The narrative progresses to share about the years after high school, and how each member of the crew grew up to become their best selves.

When Back Yi-Jin changes his TV position and only meets Naa Hee Do on rare occasions, their romance comes to a standstill. Back Yi-Jin’s situation worsens when he is asked to travel to New York to report on the World Trade Center incident. He is stranded in New York for a few months, depressed and unable to return to South Korea.

Na Hee Do decides to call it quits, recognizing she is dating her mother via Back Yi-Jin and him still wanting their love to endure despite the difficulties. The ending is heartbreaking and full of lessons for both parties.

As the film concludes, Kim Min-Chae discovers the final journal by divine intervention, allowing the elderly Na-Hee Do to finally find closure and move on. Kim Min-Chae resolves to pursue ballet again, this time determined to create her own story and confront the monsters that stand in her way.

Conclusion

This movie was unexpectedly emotional and full of lessons. I enjoyed the passion the characters had, the boldness to face their challenges. Na Hee Do was a complete inspiration, from start to finish and she was the central piece of this movie, which I truly enjoyed.

I recognized myself in the youth Na Hee Do and her daring, clumsy demeanor. The hair wrapped in a pony tail at the top of her head, the sports clothing, everything. Most of all, I admired her enthusiasm for fencing and her dedication to fight until the last breath while maintaining her dignity.

Her mother’s relationship was also an excellent illustration of how we choose to treat our elders, not acknowledging the efforts made, and the other way around, for parents who can be a bit too harsh in the teachings they give.

Na Hee Do and Ko Yu Rim’s relationship was emotional, to say the least. I loved how these two spirits linked so sweetly and were friends till the very end.

The love connection between Na Hee Do and Back Yi-Jin spoke millions. I saw reviews that said that the fans were disappointed in how the movie ended, and how they wished for the two to stay together, despite the odds.

What many people don’t realize is how tough it is to maintain a serious relationship, from a ripe perspective. These two characters had grown so far apart, and it was becoming increasingly difficult for them to be together, that it choked the entire love spirit.

How can a relationship exist when one person is continuously apart? How many times can you accept the other person’s excuses while sitting alone and wishing they were there? These were the questions addressed by the film, and I wholeheartedly agreed with them. 

It’s OK to be in a relationship when there’s a fair exchange, but when one person contributes 100% and the other only offers 20%, there’s no balance. Some love relationships are supposed to be at the core of our lives, to happen just once and to be sufficient. 

We must accept this and move on. We cannot expect every soul we meet to remain with us indefinitely. That’s not how life works. You can’t know genuine love unless you’ve been through a hard breakup, just as you cannot grow in your comfort zone. Other opportunities will come.

Quotes from the movie that stuck with me:

“In some moments, we’re doing our best but all of that is just a practice.” – Baek Yijin

“Think about it. Did you enjoy ballet or the compliments? If you liked the compliments, you can quit. But if you liked ballet, think it over again.” – Mrs. Kim

“Your skills don’t improve consistently but in steps.” – Mrs. Kim

“Why do you root for me? Even my mom doesn’t.” – Na Heedo
“Because you give me hope. And I want more for you. And it makes me want to do well, too.” – Back Yijin

“I lost in so many matches. I couldn’t let everyday be tragic just because I lost every time. Laughing makes it easier to forget. You have to forget to move on.” – Na Heedo

“You are by far the most experienced fencer when it comes to losing. Those losses were blocks to build yourself stairs leading up. Think about it. Now you’ve got the highest staircase. Take your time to climb it and take whatever you want.” – Back Yijin

“Your matches will only get more difficult from now on. Why? Because everyone knows your moves. So work hard.” – Coach Yang

“Life is precious. Let’s love with no regrets while we’re alive.” – Baek Yijin

“Feeling pressure is also an experience.” – Na Heedo

“Our friendships are always excessive, we’re helpless in the face of love, and our failures are passionate. Anxiety, grief, jokes, and smiles come together to form a strange and irregular shape. Perhaps we’re currently standing at the center of our youths.” – Back Yijin

“Sometimes, saying that we can do something can be more discouraging. We haven’t learned about a world in which you don’t have to do well and can fail. Still, let’s do the most we can. Let’s do our best. But I still hope that even if we fail, we’ll be strong enough to get back up again.” – Back Yijin

“I have faith that he made the right choice. I’m sure he went somewhere better. Somewhere less tiring. And somewhere he’ll get hurt less. It’s now my turn to root for him.” – Na Heedo

“When you try hard, it makes me want to try hard, too. When you accomplish something, it makes me want to accomplish something. You make other people do well, not just yourself.” – Back Yijin

“We have the strength to get back up again. So let’s be as frustrated as we want when things are tough. Let’s be sad as we want. And let’s get back up together.” – Na Heedo

“I heard that every tragedy in life is a comedy if you see it from afar.” – Back Yijin

“Let’s suffer together when we’re in pain. It’s 100 times better than being lonely alone.” – Na Heedo

“I’m going to share everything that’s yours. Everything, including your sadness, happiness, and despair. So don’t hide because things are tough. Make sure to leave my share.” – Na Heedo

(Image Source – The Life Stories)

Morality

Many people would agree I’m polite, respectable, and decent and that is true. Nevertheless, something else—a sharper, deeper aspect of myself—doesn’t agree with what isn’t balanced.

I have a strong moral compass and care about the truth and doing what is right. I may occasionally be overly detail-oriented, but it is also a trait of who I am that I have grown to accept and appreciate. Here are some guidelines that I follow in close relationships.

Respect

(Gif Source – Google Images)

I treat everyone with respect. Even if I am the nicest person in the world, I won’t allow you to walk all over me. I deserve respect and acknowledgment in all settings, including the workplace, friendships, and romantic relationships.

I despise competition and will only participate if I have signed up for it. I don’t compare myself to anyone else since we all have different goals and objectives. In this life, the only competition I have is with myself, in terms of acquiring new skills and becoming a better person.

Time

(Gif Source – Google Images)

If I have given you my time, you are important. I won’t be in your life if you don’t respect and cherish the time I spend with you. Life is too short to be concerned about whether you’ll show up today or tomorrow.

Apologies

(Gif Source – Google Images)

Making excuses will not get you anywhere with me. I’m not a hypocrite, and I can forgive others when they make mistakes, particularly those close to me, however, I have a healthy limit.

Friendships

(Gif Source – Google Images)

I was surrounded by friends and people for a very long period. That lasted until my first serious breakup when I began to see patterns and recognized that those around me weren’t really friends with me. I discovered how important it is to associate with like-minded people who can motivate me to accomplish my goals.

Loyalty

(Gif Source – Google Images)

I’m a reliable and a honest friend and partner. If I’m in your life, it implies that I won’t gossip behind your back or cheat; these are negative behaviors that I won’t support. I used to have people who pushed me to let them go through using these techniques.

Don’t look back

(Gif Source – Google Images)

Once someone hurt me and wishes to get back to me, it will not happen, not even as friends. We don’t share the same values and my trust has been shattered. One can’t build castles on moving sand. I took this habit from my mom who is equally stubborn and strong in her beliefs, once she sets her mind on something, she won’t be moved.

Run with the right crowd

(Gif Source – Google Images)

People didn’t like me when I was younger because I was different. It was difficult to establish friendships and be accepted, so I eventually gave up. Instead, I focused on myself, studying, and being a good daughter.

People came and left in my life, and I learned numerous lessons, one of which was to run with the right crowd. If we don’t have the same principles, or if I have to compete for your attention, I’m out. The right people won’t blink an eye before accepting me.

Conclusion

This life has taken me through some challenging tests, and I’ve fallen to the ground, shattered into a thousand pieces, and glued myself back together, piece by piece. I made mistakes, but I learned to love and forgive myself for my humble beginnings, with God in my heart.

People who have come and left my life left traces and lessons that I’ve been using for years. Every interaction strengthened and inspired me to fight for my life and what is rightfully mine. 

Letter to my Savior

Hi Jesus!

It’s me again. I’m not sure how to start this letter, and I don’t know how to better approach you. I feel small in comparison to your grace and love for me.

Today we celebrate your resurrection, and yet here I am, still at home, unable to sufficiently praise you or thank you for all the blessings you’ve bestowed upon me since my birth.

This time, instead of kneeling, I’m standing in my chair and feel led to write you this letter. I intended to write more about you, about the immense love that our Heavenly Father has for us, and how you only desire the best for us.

I’ve lost count of the times you’ve begged me to come to you, to let go of earthly ambitions and concerns and look up, to be with you. I seldom fail to hear your voice, and instead of keeping our connection alive by reading the Bible and the countless other methods I may find you, I’m losing myself in worldly routines and activities I like doing. But the joy I derive from these worldly pursuits is fleeting, and I always return to you, to your affection and understanding, to your tremendous love.

You were always great, Jesus. You noticed me when no one else did, and you knew me long before I knew you. You heard my plea and understood that, despite my mistakes, I was trying to do good, and you chose to save me regardless.

You gave me angels along the way to assist me in fulfilling my destiny at that time. You’ve always shown me, love, in the smallest of ways, yet they made me so happy and kept me going.

You saw me as a child, grasping my earthly parents’ hands and running in front of a giant delivery truck. The automobile unexpectedly came to a halt, hardly brushing me. And then, on my worst day, when I was bringing all these horrible experiences to myself, you spared me from another terrible accident, and I didn’t even thank you.

You chose to notice me and provide consolation in prayer when I was ignored when the „friends” I had looked down on me. You brought me Saint Nicholas, a magnificent saint to whom I began praying as early as my adolescence, and gave me an enjoyable taste of victory and love.

You heard my every request, even when I was on my knees, crying in the middle of the night, unsure which path to follow or where to go. You guided me through every situation, and instead of responding quickly, you made me stronger, allowing me to be there for those who needed me.

You were there when I made the awful decision that changed the direction of my life. You loved me and recognized that, despite my decision at the time and the fact that I’d gone astray, you’d turn it around and help me and the people involved get better and get to know you.

You heard my cries as I struggled to deal with those who had mistreated me. That is when you started talking with me, promising that I would be saved and happy again. That you will deliver more than I had ever imagined.

Since that moment, I’ve been curious about you, asking questions about this and that, how to better myself and be helpful to people around me. You’ve miraculously answered every request and made sure I understood it was all because of your grace and love for me.

I’ve seen movies about you and saw myself as the beggar at the synagogue, with your hand on my shoulders stopping me as you defended and stood up for me. I’ve watched you battle for my wrongs, ensuring that those who harmed me got what they deserved.

That’s when you showed me that there is no joy in the anguish of people around me and that justice entails suffering and lessons for all parties concerned. You inspired me to want to forgive and love just as much as you did.

You taught me that gloating about the gifts you share with us is pointless and that we are all deserving of your love and forgiveness, regardless of what we’ve done. You’ve taught me how to be your smile, to always see the best in people, and to view them as the angels they were destined to be from the beginning.

I seldom felt like Peter, paddling across life’s turbulent seas and nearly drowning, losing sight of you. And then, in your infinite love for me, you always showed up miraculously, drew me out, piece by piece, teaching me not to focus on the shifting waves, but on you.

You gently demonstrated that not everyone is for me, and that not everyone who passes through our lives is intended to stay. You taught me that every soul has a purpose and that it must end the same way it began.

You taught me that no matter what my request or thought, I should always come to you. I’m still learning there, and sometimes feel like I should come to you more often and express myself. Thank you for your patience.

You showed me that I don’t have to be ashamed of my scars, that every mark has meaning, and that each journey you’ve led me on has been successful. You took my hand and showed me the traces of nails from your hands on the cross.

Today, I just wanted to tell you that I love you and appreciate everything you’ve done for me, for us. That you have forgiven my every wrong, that you have healed my blood, and that you see me.

You showed me that genuine love takes the form of a cross, the one you chose to give your life to rescue us, and no amount of human love can ever repay that. In your greatness, you proclaim our love for us with every sunrise, with every chance to enjoy life through a new day.

Thank you for the adventure you led me on, for being with me at all times, for loving me, and giving your life for me. I believe you will always be with me, holding my hands while I bear my heavy cross and delivering me to where I’m supposed to be, fulfilling my God-given purpose. I love you!

(Image Source – Greg Olsen)

When the past was around – Game review

Last weekend I was looking forward to some gaming sessions and wanted to try something new. Aside from House Flipper, which I played for years, I’ve grown to like visual novels. I came across the game When the Past Was Around while browsing through Steam.

I enjoyed the graphics and narrative, and I like owls, so the character was an added bonus, especially since the game was on sale. I also liked the format of the point-and-click puzzler and the hidden object moments where you had to thoroughly explore each room to solve the mystery. The game became sorrowful and cloudy at times, making it difficult to predict what would happen next.

My thoughts

When the past was around celebrates every moment with magnificent illustrations and music, in contrast to other visual novels that depict key events and then move on to another subject. It’s a slow-burning game, even if it’s not as lengthy as other games in the same genre.

The game is introduced as a lovely child’s book, however, it is deeply profound. I was intrigued by the game’s small details, such as the objects left by the person who left, old clothing, and souvenirs together sketching a disheveled home, suggesting a sorrowful loss. It doesn’t conceal anything and engulfs you in a blurry world, capturing exactly how you’d feel in a similar case.

What I like about this game is that it doesn’t enforce linearity or impose any concepts. The owl, the anonymous lady who lost her love, could be any person who has gone through similar trauma, and it provides room for reflection, for your memories to show up and heal.

The lady who has lost a loved one is not seeking another person or anything to fill the void. She allows herself to experience the empty space, and the pain, to reminisce the great times they shared together, to take in each day as it comes, and live in the present.

The couple treasures the music, and the game is packed with musical symbols and instruments. The feathers left by the owl in every space after finishing the puzzle game served as an emblem, completing the game plot.

The finale is miraculous; the two reunite and enjoy each other as they did when they met. The anonymous lady collects all feathers left by his life memories and liberates the owl from the chains of despair, allowing both herself and his spirit to rise in love and freedom.

(Image Source – Steam)

Dailies #8

We are often advised to let go, and while we have many ideas about where to begin and what to focus on, it hardly addresses the actual letting go process. We’re so focused on accomplishing something that we forget to let go. We’re always doing so much, being in so many places, figuring things out, planning, wanting, and generally doing a lot.

What should we do? Stop! Stop trying, pushing things in particular directions, and over-explaining, and sit back and relax. Examine the world through the eyes of a photographer, noting every detail, every object we would usually ignore.

Keep a comfortable distance from others around you. Notice their behavior, avoid pushing too hard, and let things flow. You can’t discern black from white if you close your eyes. At the end of the day, slower is better. Choose what makes you happy. Make no excuses for anyone who does not deserve you.

Sooner or later you’ll hear what your heart has always been telling you: stop trying to be who you think you should be – become who you are. – Rasheed Ogunlaru