I’m not sorry

I’ve been wondering about it lately, are we cowards? What makes us so fearful of the unexpected, and how can we conquer the harsh moments of anxiety and uncertainty? What are we going to do in the middle? We have two choices. We can either be terrified to the end and find a timid way to retreat, or step up the game and embrace the challenge of reality.

Why apologize? Why act like a victim when there’s nothing you’ve done to change the present?

Like anything in life that is too much, apologizing can have detrimental consequences of its own. Excessive apologies will impact our confidence and consciousness. When the time comes, before saying sorry, we have to ask ourselves, are we guilty for what happened, should we be sorry?

Let’s take some simple examples:

1.We’re in the grocery store, enjoying the good background music without disturbing anybody, while another person appears out of nowhere and crashes into us. We’re sorry and apologize instantly. For what? It’s not like we’ve invited that random person to act like it did, he/she needs to apologize to us.

2. There are days when we’re either overworked, feeling ill, or have a bad hair day. There sure is no reason to excuse, we are who we are and we are people at the end of the day. We should own our look and be happy with us, even if it is not a fantastic day.

3. Moments when we’re invited to birthday parties, clubbing, or going out, but we don’t feel like it or need more time for ourselves. We should be truthful, and instead of lying to ourselves, we should just be honest and let those people who invite us know the truth.

4. Asking a question. We’ve all had those moments when we don’t know a problem and need more explanations. We’re not supposed to care for others who roll their eyes to our lack of knowledge, they’re probably projecting their insecurities. Be the one that stands out from the crowd and questions if that’s how you feel.

5. Not responding to messages/phone calls. This is hard to avoid, considering that many people tend to call or give a message during our work schedule, meetings and even in our spare time spent exercising, relaxing, or busy enjoying what we love. It’s important to realize that we’re humans, too, and just like the person who’s calling/messaging us, we have needs.

Conclusion

Apologizing is necessary in our everyday lives, but it is crucial to keep ourselves in line and identify the times when we can genuinely apologize and when not. Saying sorry for something we haven’t done will carry low self-esteem, and make people believe we’re less worthy.

It’s not easy to change our actions immediately, but withholding excuses can be empowering, according to recent research. Instead of apologizing right away, we should take a deep breath and ask ourselves if we are to blame for this.

At the end of this post, I’m leaving a couple of inspirational quotations about why we shouldn’t be sorry:

  • “Never apologize for how you feel. No one can control how they feel. The sun doesn’t apologize for being the sun. The rain doesn’t say sorry for falling. Feelings just are” Iain S. Thomas, Intentional Dissonance;
  • “The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses.” Bob Moawad;
  • “I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.” D.H. Lawrence, The Complete Poems;
  • “Sorry wastes time. You have to live your life like you’ll never be sorry. It’s easier just to do the right thing from the start so there’s nothing to apologize for.” Jennifer Niven, All the Bright Places;

(Image source – Pexels, Malcolm Garret)

2021 in progress

I don’t know about you guys, but I can confess that 2020 has been a year of reflection and planning for me. I’ve been wishing so long for changes to come, and I’ve dreamed every single step of the future path. I used to have both pessimistic and optimistic feelings, but I’ve always had a happier outcome.

I was genuinely tired of just holding and watching life go by, I wanted to have a saying about my present and my future. I leaped into bigger aspirations, such as working for a bigger company, getting a respectable income, and being valued to wanting to learn more about blogging and developing my writing abilities. 

I came to know that I attract what I think of, and with hard work and perseverance, I can make my dreams come true.

If last night I gave up my anxiety and doubt, today I got a positive response from the company that I work for. My contract has been re-established for a non-determined amount of time, and I will concentrate on my job and blogging after hours. I was surprised and delighted and thought things would work to my advantage.

To make it even more prosperous, I wanted to step up my blogging game and signed up for the WordPress Premium Account, taking advantage of the perks of this package. I’m new to this, and I’m continuing to learn step by step what it takes to be a successful blogger. I am prepared to give up my time and to provide my readers with better content.

2021 Resolutions

I want to call 2021 the year of successive changes and significant decisions. I want to confront my hidden fears and my inner self and wishes. I plan to see the doctor for a routine check-up, step up in the dentist’s office, workout regularly, eat healthy and be brave in the face of unforeseen incidents and obstacles. Because I can do this, and much more.

I learned that I am the one who needs to make the changes in my life, and I can’t just stand and do nothing. I will complain and talk less, work more, read more.

I’m going to find the opportunity to be grateful to my good friends and family for loving and caring for me. I will cherish my time while respecting my interests and what I love to do.

I will go forward even if I am tired and don’t feel like it because doing a little bit is better than doing nothing. At the end of the day, success is not a large step, it’s small daily steps towards reaching the goal.

(Image Source – Pexels, Tirachard Kumtanom)

Attracting positive

I spoke to a friend of mine and tried to understand together what was going on in our lives, in the world. The year 2020 was tough because of the pandemic, the fears, and the obstacles we’ve experienced.

I recall I was terrified of losing my previous job in customer care when our project was coming to an end. I was so panicked that I didn’t know what the future would hold. However, in my confusion and anxiety, I managed to survive 2020 by working from home and even pursuing a better job. Despite my negative thoughts, I’ve somehow managed to add some optimism and perseverance as well.

During the quarantine and even after that, I’ve had my mind so cluttered with ‘Why’s’ and ‘How’s’ and I’ve been so scared of what might be and what’s going to happen tomorrow. The incredible thing I just learned was that I don’t need to be terrified, and I don’t need to doubt every single direction this life takes me. I already have someone to do that for me.

I remember being worried, asking from colleague to colleague, trying to find a solution to the problem I had, seeking an answer, and the answer arrived. It was shrouded in the clutter of ‘how’s’ and ‘why’s’ that was shielding it from me.

A good job has emerged in customer care, and I feel that somewhere inside of me, I liked assisting, and I wanted to serve customers all the way and I drew it to myself. The joy had been alive in me for a time, but somehow it got buried again in the most irritable clients and the Karen’s present out there.

I recall losing my enthusiasm for a while and attempting to find a reason for this uncertain present, trying again to understand something that was not to be known at that time, in the middle. But then I realized something, when things are foggy, and reality doesn’t make sense to keep trusting, to keep having faith.

Thinking magical thoughts

On a Wednesday, when I was working on my tickets and listening to some songs, I heard Harry’s hit, Golden. At the beginning, I was like, well, that sounds interesting, and then, after seeing this mad man’s video, smiling, running, and enjoying life with a big smile on his face, the questions came to my mind. Happiness, unknown happiness. Suddenly, I realized that this life is amazing, and even though it’s foggy now, and maybe it doesn’t make sense, there’s a future ahead, and better things are waiting for us.

Recently, I was reading Michelle Obama’s book, My Story, and I remember getting through a rough pain, as it brought me a previous suffering that changed my attitude and perception. I found myself crying while reading and listening to the music that I used to listen to in that difficult period. I was going to let go.

Today, I got a call from one of my relatives, giving me a solution on how to let this suffering go. I am more than appreciative of this and, honestly, can’t understand how this can happen and how the law of attraction works for my recovery and future.

Letting the negatives go

My contract with the new company that I started working in 2020 is almost over, and I don’t have a definite response yet. I no longer worry, I am not willing to mourn and wish for something that may never happen.

I will let God and the Universe lead me on my journey, for the time being, trust my abilities and what I’ve worked on until now. I will be happy and grateful every day, regardless of what it brings.

Life can be difficult, and most of the time we don’t have the answers to our questions. Yeah, some transitions are tough and can consume our time and passion, but don’t let them destroy your sparkle and continue to shine even when you don’t know the answers.

The Universe always has a new way of showing you the answers, different and greater than you would have expected, precisely when you feel like giving up. That’s not a coincidence, it’s all happening for a reason.

It’s mainly a matter of thinking and drawing positive things and people into your life.

(Image Source – Unsplash, Yeshi Kangrang)

Golden

It’s an extremely busy time at work during the holiday season, as everyone wants to buy gifts for their loved ones, but unfortunately, there are accidents during this process. This is where we, the customer service team come in.

I spent my previous days working and reading, and I was caught up in so many assignments and activities that I didn’t even realize how overwhelming and exhausting it was for me.

Getting annoyed with little things, shouting at everything else around me that could make me distracted, and wanting to do more than I could. I wanted to go this extra mile to prove myself, to show what I’m capable of, and to improve, to be stronger.

One little thing I forgot about in this whole process was myself. I forgot to smile, to be happy with myself and my work, and wanted more; more numbers, more quality at work, it’s never been enough.

To some extent, I’ve grown bored of constantly doing the same thing and getting irritated, and I just decided to listen to some music when I was working, to de-tension myself.

Music inspiration

Scrolling through YouTube’s varied music collection, I discovered Harry Style’s ‘Golden’ song. In the beginning, I was all right, that sounds interesting. But then, as I was working, I heard myself singing his lines. It wasn’t me at all and believe it or not, I got more positive and happy to help out customers.

Eventually, I took a break and wanted to watch his music video while I was at it and I loved it very much, it was like a breath of fresh air.

I got out of the stuffed apartment mentally, this place where I spent so many days during this pandemic, and now having to work from home. I have forgotten about my unhappy customers, about the numbers that are never enough, about quality and productivity.

I found myself running virtually on unfamiliar streets with this crazy guy, breathing fresh air, enjoying the sunset, and escaping the harsh routine. I got lost in his smile, and I just couldn’t realize why he’s so cheerful and carefree when I’m trapped in the flat, faking a happy fulfilled life.

It really makes me think about my past and my actions, and how I could have changed my life for the better if I had taken different decisions. Why am I not spending my golden years in a different place, and why am I continuing to hide from this wide world in a tiny town…

Eventually, I went back to work and reality, except this time with new ideas and more energized and feeling like I’ve experienced something new. Harry’s Style of looking at life.

At the end of the day, we’ve got to dare to be courageous, different. Even if it could mean being alone or hurt or ignored for a brief amount of time. People are always going to have something to tell about things and about us.

It’s about how we have decided to respond to these things and what makes us happy. 

Spending time with your true self

During these pandemic days, it’s easy to become distressed. After work and the daily routine, you may sometimes find yourself getting lost in sad memories. It’s not like you wanted to go there, but it just sank in.

Finding yourself with so much time, and having no one around is very challenging. It lets you wonder about your life decisions and makes you doubt the present and the things you enjoy and care about.

Spending time with yourself can be frightening for someone who is constantly distracted, on the move, and multi-tasking. Moreover, you can stump on old wounds and options that appeared perfect in the past.

Observing them at the moment and noticing the consequences will change the situation, and in the end, only you can have a conclusive solution.

Some journeys in life can only be traveled alone

It’s time to quit the race and start doing something for yourself that makes you happy. It may be anything, even the slightest, purest expression to reward yourself. Make a cup of coffee in the morning, take a stroll around the countryside, enjoy the sunlight, dance in the snow.

Quit looking for appreciation from the outside and give yourself the pat on the back you deserve. Look in the mirror and say thank you for what you have accomplished so far, for the endless hours of effort and commitment, for the sacrifices that nobody knows except you.

Avoid doing everything for others and start worrying about yourself for only 30 minutes a day. Take a break from the daily routine and offer yourself a great experience.

Clear your thoughts from everyday activities, tasks, and problems. Avoid stressing over things that once made you happy and do them with fun, not in a hurry, only because they need to be finished. Don’t agglomerate yourself with more than you can achieve in a day, plan your program for your enjoyment and success.

Don’t let yourself be bored and spend time doing nothing. Set up new targets and ask yourself what is the next challenge you want to conquer and how you can improve. It’s always a place for the better! 🙂

Stay true to yourself and don’t hide your emotions. Learn to embrace and understand yourself, exactly as you are, cast away the masks, and be honest with you and the people around you. Those that are there for you will stay, and those who don’t remain, they weren’t meant to be there in the first place.

Once you understand these basic ideas, you will be able to discover new solutions, and sometimes problems can be worked out by themselves, there is no point in stressing. Learn to let them be, let them go, let God and the universe take care of them.

(Image Source – Unsplash)

Questions, questions

I have been told once by a person that I used to like that I don’t know what I want, and that I tend to hover a lot about powerful decisions. I guess that his acknowledgment got me off guard at that time, and accepted it as a truth.

I am only 24 at this moment, but things started making sense, and I got to have my own opinions about what I think, about the world and myself. I am not perfect, I got my big life full of messy things, and I continue making mistakes and learning from them.

I never actually knew what I wanted from life, truthfully speaking. I only learned as I went, stepping on shards of glass and at times, found my comfort zone on a fluffy carpet.

Life has thrown me out into circumstances that I did not realize I could go through, I laughed at the danger, trusted unworthy people, smiled when life got critical and said thank you to enemies.

One normal person could say that I am crazy and maybe, way too naive for this mean world, but hey, that’s just me. I don’t know for how long I can keep the spark of goodness within me, but I know that I still want to be kind, when everybody else is yelling and swearing around me.

If I don’t always have answers to life’s biggest questions, it’s okay. Nobody really knows anything, we discover as we go. Clues and hints are present at all steps if we have faith and believe in ourselves.

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At the end of the day, you need to take some for yourself while sipping that hot cup of tea, and understand that you only need to live for now, without worrying about what you want, but what makes you happy. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

(Image Source – Unsplash, Kira auf der Heide)

Life trails

Since our childhood, we are educated and advised to avoid certain items in our lives, simply because it is bad. Curious beings as we are, we always tend to hesitate and choose the forbidden way, even if it’s immoral.

We start with desserts, we are advised not to eat much and therefore we should stay away from carbs because it’s the best way, we should listen. But if we don’t, what happens?

We are all familiar with the reaction, and are punished and argued all the way through to the end because we have chosen the wrong approach. And we still do it, because we are curious and attracted to the new things that we haven’t experienced yet.

Hence, we risk indigestion, if we consume a lot of desserts. It’s known and felt by our organs. We don’t need anyone else to tell us that is bad because now we know why is good to stay away from it and eat less.

Life trails

This life is so full of fantastic things to discover and choose from, that impossible to stay away from everything. As we grow up, we get an attitude and learn to stand up for our decisions, even if they are not the greatest ones, because we think we know better.

Our parents may get tired in time and don’t have enough energy and strength to take every step with us, on this long journey of life. At some point, we arrive at a crossroads and we have to decide our next trace.

Ironically, we think that our minds are mature, that we learned everything that was to be known, and go blindfolded on the road that has the most pits and challenges. We think that this is our life and we must bear our cross, tending to forget that Jesus already did that for us.

This is how we move through life, by not knowing and confronting challenges all the time, thinking that we know everything that is to be known and then we fall again and have to start from the beginning; Stepping on burned charcoal with excitement only to suffer the burns caused after.

Life lessons

If we have mistaken our path and chosen the incorrect trail, don’t worry. Mistakes have the power to turn us into something better than we were before.

If this time we haven’t made it right, then don’t worry, we have only a thousand chances to make it as we dream, next time. Don’t be startled by the mountain ahead, the struggles that we are facing, and the chances that we are taking. The battle has just begun and we are only moving forward with faith and perseverance.

It’s important to acknowledge that God doesn’t bring us lessons to close our hearts. He brings us lessons to open them, by developing compassion, learning to listen, seeking to understand instead of speculating, practicing empathy and developing conflict resolution through communication.

If he brought us perfect people, how would we ever learn to spiritually evolve?

The next station

There are some moments in life when you feel at stake. For example, when you took a decision that will affect your future, your tomorrow, and your every day. There are acceptable parts of the new choice, but you know that at some point you will have to give up what you once chosen and were excited.

You have evolved now. The old you has made a place for the new you, a more stronger and confident person that is independent and takes decisions for yourself. You believe in your powers and are sure that tomorrow is going to be a successful day and that you are going to give all your best to make it perfect.

But there is also the old you, somewhere hidden through the old cabinets of your self-awareness. That kind and sincere person, honest that made decisions for the best, did not take anyone for granted and accepted that present as it was, rough but real.

During this change, you knew pain and shed tears, learned to work alone, to avoid unpleasant talks behind your back, to adapt to new and to fight, no matter the challenges.

You made promises that you were positively at that time that will come true, gave all that you had, and focused sincerely on the work and results. Everything was working fine, even if it wasn’t perfect.

You had the statistics speak for you, people liked you, and you were happy. Even if the payment was not substantial, you knew that work was all that mattered and that you made a difference.

Unfortunately, life happened in the meantime, and changes were made, unexpected ones. You had to move on, find a new opportunity because the dreams that you were trying to build were not based on a strong foundation, and the block was about to collapse.

You took the heavy work on you, and decided that it’s time to move on. Expected new chances and when the offer came, you just took it, without thinking about the time left on the project or the people. You considered that time flies by, and you can’t miss a one time occasion.

Now, when the time to say goodbye is near, you are just afraid and hesitant. What if the new chance was not as good as you hoped? What if deciding to move on was not the best idea, and you could have stayed and fight until your last days?

People are mad at you, your leave was unexpected, and it is understandable. The initial promises were torn apart, your willingness to fight through any storm with the team vanished under a thin cloud of helplessness. But there is nothing that you can do now, moves were made.

You will soon be stepping on a new ground, paved with brand new hopes and dreams, and who knows, maybe a better future. Decisions were made by being aware of the present, and even if the set apart is painful, you had to.

It’s time to pack up your things, brace yourself and move on the next train. You will remain with the good times, the happy memories, the laughs, and the best moments spent together.

The time spent with these people and the company were the best bridge and support for you. You found comfort, kind words and a warm hug where you would not expect.

Be appreciative for what you had and say thank you for everything. For those moments when you spoke the whole day and could not eat or rest because of the stress. For those night shifts when you felt like fading away, for those morning shifts when the sky was black but you still went on.

Be humble and embrace the past experiences as they are a part of you, good or bad. They prepared you for the next journey and life setbacks. You are stronger now.

Keep the best moments in your heart, and move ahead. Wipe off those tears and get your bags, the next station is ahead of you.

(Image Source – Wallpaper Cave)

New week’s resolutions

Hello, dear readers and writers! You might ask why this weekend I haven’t posted anything. The answer is, BREAK, like from everything. I have had such a full week, been caught up in activities at work and house chores that I longed for sleep and rest during the weekend.

Nevertheless, on Saturday I took some time to visit my parents in the countryside, see my relatives and mostly evade the city and the terrible hot drought. The weather was rainy but it was beautiful and chill.

Accept life as it is and make the best of it

The best part is that I managed to find my inner peace and dance with life challenges, be open to new, and somehow, be happy with what life brings upon.

(Image Source – Pinterest)

I managed to finish my treatment for stomach issues, went to the dentist, and established a permanent connection with her (or at least temporarily until my tooth problems will be fully resolved), and found a new job.

Now I have to work on night shifts for the employee notice and get ready for the new post at a different company. Plus perform training sessions and take job meetings. This will mostly be performed on a night shift.

This week will probably be full again, and I will have to face new problems but I am thankful for what life brought upon me, and for God’s favors, we always fail to say thank you and pray only when in need.

Resolutions for a new week

At the end of the day we have to be thankful for what we are now, and keep fighting for what we want to be tomorrow. And learn to begin every day with a grateful heart. Always be appreciative for what we have, many people have nothing.

At times happiness comes when we stop complaining about the troubles we have and offer thanks for the troubles we don’t have. As Oprah Winfrey said, we need to be thankful for what we have; we’ll end up having more. If we concentrate on what we don’t have, we will never, ever have enough.

Be true to yourself, help others, make each day your masterpiece, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good books – especially the Bible, build a shelter against a rainy day, give thanks for your blessings and pray for guidance every day. 

Wednesday thoughts

Hello, dear writers and readers! It’s been again a few days since I haven’t managed to post so much, mostly because of the busy work schedule and the other life challenges. I hope you’ve been well, and I missed you!

As you know from my previous posts, I have been through some rough times, health issues, and work changes. I still have mountains to climb, to say so, but I have more courage now. My health issues are not entirely resolved, but I have faith that this too, shall pass.

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If I have learned something from the recent life events, is that I don’t need to be such a scared chicken and accept the reality. At times, we are so afraid and worried about what could go wrong that we tend to forget what got us there in the first place, and what we have fought for.

We need to find the power to sit with the pain until it passes, in this way, we will be more prepared for what comes next. It’s important to acknowledge the fact that great things never arrived from comfort zones.

Pain is inevitable at one moment in life. We can’t avoid it forever. 

Instead of being afraid and running away from the pain, we should focus on the change and what good benefits we can achieve from it.

As Mary Tyler Moore said, The pain nourishes courage. You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you. At times, what hurts us is what heals us. This is why it’s essential to find the inner strength to fight the odds against us and to oppose it when it’s the case.

We are in charge of our lives, and our decisions may transform tomorrow in a brighter day, full of hope and success. We simply need to believe and to stay focused.

Baby steps

Make today a decision that will change your life, a tiny one. Change your computer password to a NewBeggining#100, dare to address your fears, and fight through the pain.

Although today may not offer you that many expectations, hang in there. Tomorrow is coming, and a new change stands in front of you, with a brighter sun and a milder rain. Dare to have a daydream and allow yourself to evade from the daily routine.

Allow yourself to prosper and have only good thoughts. Ignore that man or that woman that said something hurtful to you. At times, the offensive words are not oriented to you, but to them directly. See positive things happening, and they will not cease to appear.