Wednesday thoughts

Hello, dear writers and readers! It’s been again a few days since I haven’t managed to post so much, mostly because of the busy work schedule and the other life challenges. I hope you’ve been well, and I missed you!

As you know from my previous posts, I have been through some rough times, health issues, and work changes. I still have mountains to climb, to say so, but I have more courage now. My health issues are not entirely resolved, but I have faith that this too, shall pass.

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If I have learned something from the recent life events, is that I don’t need to be such a scared chicken and accept the reality. At times, we are so afraid and worried about what could go wrong that we tend to forget what got us there in the first place, and what we have fought for.

We need to find the power to sit with the pain until it passes, in this way, we will be more prepared for what comes next. It’s important to acknowledge the fact that great things never arrived from comfort zones.

Pain is inevitable at one moment in life. We can’t avoid it forever. 

Instead of being afraid and running away from the pain, we should focus on the change and what good benefits we can achieve from it.

As Mary Tyler Moore said, The pain nourishes courage. You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you. At times, what hurts us is what heals us. This is why it’s essential to find the inner strength to fight the odds against us and to oppose it when it’s the case.

We are in charge of our lives, and our decisions may transform tomorrow in a brighter day, full of hope and success. We simply need to believe and to stay focused.

Baby steps

Make today a decision that will change your life, a tiny one. Change your computer password to a NewBeggining#100, dare to address your fears, and fight through the pain.

Although today may not offer you that many expectations, hang in there. Tomorrow is coming, and a new change stands in front of you, with a brighter sun and a milder rain. Dare to have a daydream and allow yourself to evade from the daily routine.

Allow yourself to prosper and have only good thoughts. Ignore that man or that woman that said something hurtful to you. At times, the offensive words are not oriented to you, but to them directly. See positive things happening, and they will not cease to appear.

Medical worries

Hello, dear readers! I am sorry for not posting in a week, I have been busy with work and house chores, as always in this period. What is different in this period is that I am more stressed and worried.

Last week I decided that it is time to go and see a dentist. It’s been years since I avoided that place but it is time to realize that it’s necessary. Mostly because I have caries and two teeth that have to be removed. It’s painful, uncomfortable and something I have to take care of as soon as possible.

To be honest, I am a little bit scared and even have weird dreams about it. The good part is that I scheduled an appointment at a good doctor at a clinic, so I don’t have to worry about the quality of the work, I just have to endure the fear and the pain.

I decided that it’s time to face things as they are. It’s not okay to keep postponing tasks that should have been done sooner, especially in regards to health. Dental care should be essential, not optional.

Decisions should be taken NOW

I could have visited the dentist when I had caries, but I haven’t. I could have visited the dentist to repair the tooth, but then I haven’t. I could have visited the doctor when I had to extract the tooth, but I haven’t. Now I have to go for a surgery, because God knows what else could go wrong after that.

We often tend to postpone medical check-ups because they are scary, and we are afraid of what could go wrong. In time, we managed to see this fear at our loved ones, in the family. Parents, grandparents had this fear and somehow sent it back to us.

At times, we even admired them, saying: Ohh, she was such a kind woman, she never complained in her life about any pain and found the strength to move on. In the end, she died of cancer at an early age.

How do you explain that? Sorrow gained strong into her heart, and in time it proved that it was too much to handle. Nobody knew her pain and nobody was there to listen to her side of the story. The tears shed in loneliness, the hard times, were only hers and God was her only friend.

Ignorance could lead to higher pain

We have a low pain? Ahh, let’s ignore it, it’s probably nothing, it will go away from its own. Hiding the pain thoroughly, faking that we are fine and just tired. Most of the time, this is not how it works. Ignoring the early signs of an illness could lead to complications in time.

If our body is in pain, often, it tries to tell us something, to send a signal. Ignoring the pain and moving forward, could be a step backward and do more bad than good.

Conclusions

We are stuck in this body until our last breath. It’s our priceless possession and it’s ours until the very end. Taking the best decisions for ourselves, choosing health instead of something that could harm us should be the main priority.

Yes, we have tasks to take care of and yes we do work. But this is not a reason to forget about ourselves, we matter. Let’s be considerate of the fact that if something goes wrong with our health, there is nobody to replace us.

Goodbye, pure soul!

I used to dream about you. I used to picture myself how would life look with your powerful presence in it. I wanted you so bad that I could not picture life without you. How could you just leave? Why did you left me alone?

I wished to meet you so bad that I even scheduled an appointment with the doctor sooner than expected. I was so delighted of the thought that I am going to see you for the first time, I cannot even describe in words the feeling.

But then, in the darkest moment of the earth, by an unknown cause your heart decided to stop beating, and you stopped growing. A few days ago I could feel you developing and starting to catch life and shape within me, and now you just have to go, without a reason or cause.

How come you did not wanted me to see you? Why did you decided to leave so soon?

We were so happy that you are going to arrive, that we even started making plans for our future together. We started imagining a better life, a responsible life with a new joyful member in it. But you decided to leave us… .

Looking back at the memories built related to your arrival, at the plans and at the happiness involved at that time I just wish we could stop that moment and live in it forever.

Now, the present is empty and sad without you. I see the clothes prepared for you, the small little toys, the changes that we made in our home and soul, but I don’t see or feel you anymore.

I just wish that for a moment the pain will stop and the tears will simply evaporate in the thin air. Everything that I can feel is sadness and nothing seems to be worth a value  without you anymore.

But I pray for you, dear and lovely soul and I wish that you could be happy in the heaven with other pure souls. And I also like you to know that I loved you more than life itself even if you decided to leave us.

Trandafiri si amintiri

Sunt momente din viata ce raman intiparite in mintea si sufletele noastre care nu pot fi date uitarii. Fotografii ale mintii ce ne infioara intr-un mod placut sau din contra. Clipe ce ne-au marcat intr-un fel sau altul in mod pozitiv sau negativ. E o adevarata simfonie de intamplari ce raman acolo, intr-un spatiu ambiguu, revenindu-ne in memorie in functie de stare.

Sunt amintiri ce ne fura zambete, lacrimi si timp si de care suntem uneori dependenti, fara de care am ramane singuri intr-o mare de lume. De exemplu noi, ca oameni, din pacate nu avem o eternitate la dispozitie pentru a trai, face relatii si petrece timp cu cei dragi;”pachetul” nostru de viata este limitat. Ramane la noi sa alegem cu ce persoane sa ne petrecem acel “pachet” si cat sa le pretuim.

Va voi relata o mica povestioara.

,,Am mers la magazin, nu interesata in a cumpara ceva anume. Imi era foame iar faptul ca mi-a decedat sotul acum 8 zile inca era dureros si acest magazin detinea prea multe amintiri dulci. Venea adesea cu mine la cumparaturi si de fiecare data disparea sub pretextul ca are ceva important de cumparat. Stiam ce are de gand. L-am surprins de fiecare data mergand tip-til pe culoar cu 3 trandafiri galbeni in mana. Stia ca imi plac trandafirii galbeni. Cu inima suferinda am vrut doar sa-mi cumpar cate ceva si sa plec. Lucrurile s-au schimbat de cand a decedat, pana si cumparaturile. Sa faci cumparaturi de una singura lua timp si multa gandire. Era altfel in doi. Inca imi amintesc cat de atent era la cumparaturi.

O femeie cu palton verde a venit dintr-o data langa mine. Era blonda, slabuta si draguta. Am privit-o in timp ce ridica o punga mare de oase pentru supe si a pus-o in cos, a ezitat apoi a pus-o inapoi pe raft. S-a intors sa plece dar s-a intors aproape imediat pentru pachetul de oase. M-a vazut ca o priveam si mi-a zambit.”Sotului meu ii plac acestea dar sincer… la preturile astea, nu stiu”. O priveam atent in ochii sai albastri.”Sotul meu a murit in urma cu 8 zile”i-am spus. Privind la pachetul din mana ei, abia mi-am abtinut tremuratul din voce spunandu-I: “Cumpara-I oasele si pretuieste fiecare moment petrecut impreuna”

Si-a intors privirea si am putut observa emotia din ochii sai cand a pus pachetul in cos si a mers mai departe. M-am intors la sectiunea de produse lactate. Am stat acolo o vreme incercand sa decid ce cutie de lapte sa cumpar. M-am decis pe o cutie si am mers mai departe la sectiunea de inghetata. Am decis sa imi cumpar o inghetata chiar daca nu imi era pofta. Am pus inghetata in cos si m-am indreptat spre culoarul din fata. Am observat femeia draguta cu palton verde indreptandu-se spre mine. Tinea un pachet in mainile sale. Avea cel mai larg zambet pe care l-am putut vedea vreodata. Aveam impresia ca are o aura deasupra capului. Cand s-a apropiat mai mult am vazut ce tinea in brate si am inceput sa plang.

“Acestea sunt pentru tine”a spus si mi-a lasat 3 trandafiri frumosi in brate.”Cei de la casa vor sti ca sunt platiti”.S-a aplecat si m-a sarutat pe obraz dupa care a zambit din nou.

Am vrut sa-I spun ce a facut si ce insemnau trandafirii pentru mine. Insa nu puteam vorbi si am privit-o cum a plecat in timp ce lacrimile imi incurcau vederea. M-am uitat in jos la trandafiri infasurati in matase verde si mi se pareau aproape ireal de frumosi.

Cum a stiut? Imediat raspunsul mi-a aparut. Era atat de clar! Nu eram singura.

“Oh, nu m-ai uitat, nu?”Am soptit cu lacrimi in ochi. El era inca cu mine si ea era ingerul lui.

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Dupa cum ati putut observa in aceasta mica povestioara amintirile frumoase raman in sufletul nostru si suntem norocosi pentru asta. In primul rand trebuie sa fim recunoscatori pentru ceea ce avem.

Iata cateva sfaturi:

Fii multumit pentru ce ai si cine esti in fiecare zi.

Chiar daca imi dau patura peste cap si bombanesc cand suna alarma, ii multumesc Domnului ca pot auzi. Sunt multi oameni surzi.

Chiar daca imi tin ochii inchisi impotriva luminii puternice, ii multumesc Domnului ca pot vedea. Sunt multi oameni orbi.

Chiar daca mi-e greu sa ma ridic din pat dimineata, ii multumesc Domnului ca am puterea de a ma ridica. Sunt multi oameni paralizati.

Chiar daca la prima ora e aiureala, cand sosetele sunt pierdute, micul dejun e ars, copii imi sunt galagiosi si eu nu mai am rabdare, ii multumesc Domnului pentru familia mea. Sunt multi oameni singuri.

Chiar daca masuta cu micul dejun nu arata ca in fotografiile din reviste si meniul e uneori dezechilibrat, ii multumesc lui Dumnezeu pentru mancarea pe care o avem. Sunt multi oameni infometati.

Chiar daca rutina de la lucru e adesea monotona, ii multumesc Domnului pentru oportunitatea de a avea de lucru. Sunt multi oameni someri.

Chiar daca marai si imi plang soarta de pe o zi pe alta si imi doresc ca circumstantele in care ma aflu sa nu fi fost asa modeste, ii multumesc lui Dumnezeu pentru viata mea!