Thought of the day 16#

There are days and days. Some days are better, some are worse. In the end it all depends on how we think about it, on how we feel it. I don’t know about you guys, but there has been some days in which I found myself thinking: What am I doing here? Was I meant to be in this place, to live this life?

I can’t say I hate my life cause I am not. I am just lost in the clouds sometimes trying to figure out things, things that may work out for me and things that may not. Lately, it has been a blurry period for me. As you may know, if you have been reading my latest posts, I have been through a lot. I have been fighting with this harsh reality, trying to find a better job, a place where I could work and develop, a place where I could be myself.

And to be honest, it wasn’t easy at all. To be stuck in a present where everybody was busy with their own thing and you just had to go through through fog, to discover who you really are and what you were truly made for. Living in a place like Suceava, doesn’t give you so much opportunities and open doors. You have to fight for a place of work you should have had from the beginning, but politicians don’t give a thing about that, not in Romania.

Two weeks ago I left my other job because of the fact that I was getting sick, physically and mentally. My legs still hurt because all the cold I had to endure and I still have flu, and my mind is stuck in all those numbers and unsatisfied employees, but hey! I had the guts to leave that place for the better, to find a better way to evolve and discover myself.

Yeah, it may sound easy at first but it’s not. I can’t tell you how many times I felt like a nothing. Since I graduated I changed 2 jobs because of the environment, because of the loud yelling and other reasons which imprisoned my development and work.

People, stopped, looked and concluded! Everybody asked me why had I took that decision and didn’t work anymore. They were almost sure that I was a lazy and impassive person who just wants to stay at home. Acid words which hurt when you say them without even thinking or at least care about what really happened.

In their times things didn’t worked like that, people in times of our parents had a job which continued from when they graduated until they got older and retire. I wish I could have lived their times though!… . The times when you didn’t have to worry about tomorrow because you got it assured, because the state was helping you with real jobs, and supported your tomorrow.

I listened, answered with simple words and moved on. But somewhere, deep inside, those words hurt. In the end I became another person. A cold and stubborn person, which I may not recognize myself in the mirror at first. Going through rough storms usually changes you, literally. But if one thing doesn’t stop, and grows stronger, that’s not giving up.

Not giving up, I don’t want to give up and I will never give up! These were the words I kept saying to myself, on and on. So here I was… Going to numberless interview, trying to convince people of my skills and abilities, finding a place for me. People looked at me, questioned me, and promised to give a feedback in a few days.

So, days went into weeks and this last week I finally got an answer. After talking in English almost 2 hours and completing a 5 page test I got admitted, as a customer support in English. It’s not much, it’s not the field I studied, but in balance for now it’s the best choice. The best part is that you can improve yourself in time and reach a better position in company, which is awesome!

I know what I am capable of and I believe in me and my skills; in the end if it’s something people can’t take from you, is your knowledge and ingenuity. I just hope for the best and have trust in tomorrow. I have a vision for tomorrow that my place is where it has to be and awaits me, no matter what people might think or say because the real answer is in me!

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(Image Source – Unsplash)

Anul 2018 in retrospectiva/ 2018 in retrospective

Nisipul fin din clepsidra vietii isi numara ultimele fire de timp ale anului 2018. Ne mai despart doar cateva ore de noul an 2019 si cu aceasta ocazie as dori sa privesc inapoi, in retrospectiva la clipele anului 2018.

Imi place sa cred ca anul 2018 a fost un an bun. Privind inapoi la toate sarcinile indeplinite cu succes, la toate furtunile si incercarile la care am fost supusa, la toate lucrurile invatate si toate descoperirile nu pot decat sa admit ca anul 2018 a fost de poveste.

Pentru mine a fost anul cunoasterii si dezvoltarii, anul in care a luat sfarsit pregatirea scolara si a inceput pregatirea pentru viata adevarata si dura.

2018 a fost anul in care am varsat lacrimi de bucurie si de dor la finalizarea studiilor, anul in care am mai pasit o treapta pe scala sociala, devenind angajata cu drepturi depline, (nu din prima incercare, dar important este ca mi-am regasit echilibrul ulterior).

In 2018 am cunoscut oameni noi, suflete inzestrate cu caractere si comportamente speciale, oameni cumsecade si oameni falsi. Am legat prietenii care mai apoi s-au destramat, am ras cu pofta si am plans cu lacrimi sarate. Fiecare persoana care m-a cunoscut si-a lasat o mica amprenta pe sufletul meu, schimbandu-ma in mod pozitiv si ajutandu-ma sa percep viata asa cum este ea, cu bune si cu rele.

Am invatat sa pretuiesc oamenii de langa mine si am descoperit adevarata insemnatate a cuvantului familie. Dupa o zi lunga de serviciu, cel mai bun tratament revitalizant este imbratisarea celor dragi si atmosfera familiara de acasa, sentimentul de a iubi si a fi iubit.

Am invatat ca nu trebuie sa imi fie frica de esec, ci sa imi fie frica de a nu incerca. Am invatat ca desi viata ma pune in situatii dificile, trebuie sa avansez si sa fiu recunoscatoare ca am trecut prin acele momente; am invatat ca fiecare vanataie este o lectie, si fiecare lectie este un pas inainte.

Am invatat ca sunt oameni care sunt pusi in situatii mai dificile decat mine, am invatat ca nu trebuie sa ma plang, am invatat ca trebuie sa vorbesc mai putin si sa ascult mai mult. Impreuna cu cei dragi am descoperit locuri noi din aceasta lume si am trait experiente de neuitat. Mi-am dat seama ca unele cai frumoase nu pot fi descoperite decat prin a te pierde.

Nu in ultimul rand, in 2018 am inceput sa cresc, articol cu articol blogul de pe care scriu in acest moment si am inceput sa am ganduri de viitor. Am inteles ca WordPress-ul ascunde o lume unita si frumoasa, am descoperit bloggeri dedicati, am inteles ca prin intermediul acestei platforme uriase, WordPress, pot face o diferenta. Pentru aceasta, multumesc echipei Wordpres si miilor de cititori si bloggeri care fac acest lucru posibil.

2018 s-a caracterizat prin emotii, nopti nedormite, lacrimi si sperante noi, bucurii, esecuri, incercari, rabdare, perseverenta, credinta, dragoste, descoperiri, fericire si implinire.

Ce va aduce 2019? Sunt extrem de curioasa si eu. Nu sunt genul de persoana care isi face planuri prea multe, insa atunci cand imi doresc ceva am grija sa se intample. Asadar, nu am o lista prea lunga insa am cateva idei solide:

In 2019 imi doresc mai mult decat orice sanatate. Imi doresc sa fiu fericita cu familia mea, imi doresc sa evoluez la noul loc de munca si sa continui sa imi scriu, cuvant cu cuvant, povestea vietii prin intermediul platformei WordPress.

La finalul articolului, doresc sa multumesc tuturor persoanelor ce au fost alaturi de mine in 2018, persoanelor ce au crezut in mine si m-au ajutat sa devin ceea ce sunt astazi.

Acum, la cumpana dintre ani, va urez speranta in suflet si curajul de a trece peste incercarile noului an. Belsug, sanatate si fericire, La Multi Ani!

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(Sursa Imaginii – Unsplash)

                                                                   English version

The fine sand of life’s hourglass counts the last threads of the year 2018. We are split up just a few hours of the new year 2019 and on this occasion I’d like to look back in retrospect at the time of 2018.

I like to think 2018 was a good year. Looking back at all the accomplished tasks, at all the storms and trials I have been subjected to, all the things learned, and all the discoveries, I can only admit that the year 2018 was beautiful.

For me it was the year of knowledge and development, the year when schooling ended and started preparing for real and durable life.

2018 was the year in which I shed tears of joy and longing to finish the studies, the year when I stepped on a social scale, becoming a full-time employee (not from the first attempt, but it is important that I found myself balance later).

In 2018 I met new people, souls endowed with special characters and behaviors, good men and fake men. I tied friendships that later broke up, I laughed with appetite and cried with salty tears. Every person who has met me has left a small footprint on my soul, changing me positively and helping me to perceive life as it is with good and bad.

I have learned to value the people next to me and have discovered the true meaning of the word family. After a long day of work, the best revitalizing treatment is embracing loved ones and the familiar home atmosphere, the feeling of love and being loved.

I have learned that I do not have to be afraid of failure, but to be afraid of not trying. I have learned that although life puts me in difficult situations, I have to move forward and be grateful that I have gone through those moments; I have learned that every bruise is a lesson, and every lesson is a step forward.

I have learned that there are people who are in more difficult situations than I have been, I have learned that I do not have to cry, I have learned that I have to talk less and listen more. Together with my loved ones, we have discovered new places in this world and have lived unforgettable experiences. I realized that some beautiful journeys can only be discovered by losing yourself.

Last but not least, in 2018 I started to grow up, article by article with the blog I am writing at this time and I started to think about the future. I understand that WordPress hides a united and beautiful world, I have discovered dedicated bloggers, I understand that through this huge platform, WordPress, can make a difference. For this, I thank the WordPress team and thousands of readers and bloggers who are making it possible.

2018 has been characterized by emotions, sleepless nights, new tears and hopes, joys, failures, trials, patience, perseverance, faith, love, discovery, happiness and fulfillment.

What will 2019 bring? I am very curious too. I’m not the kind of person who plans too much, but when I want something I’m looking to make it happen. So I do not have a long list, but I have some solid ideas:

In 2019 I wish more than any health. I want to be happy with my family, I want to evolve to the new job and continue to write, word by word, the story of life through the WordPress platform.

At the end of the article, I want to thank all the people who were with me in 2018, the people who believed in me and helped me to become what I am today.

Now, at the age of years, I wish you hope and the courage to overcome the challenges of the new year. Wealth, health and happiness, Happy New Year!

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(Unsplash – Image Source)

Lost time is never found again

Rutina a poposit si pe meleagurile mele iar timpul pare sa fie acccelerat.

La inceputul zilei, odata cu rasaritul soarelui ma pregatesc de o noua calatorie din aceasta scurta viata, de un element necesar si indispensabil, si anume locul de munca.

Somnoroasa, cu ochii intredeschisi ma aranjez in slow motion, parca cu vointa altcuiva, si imi arunc intr-o geanta cele necesare zilei respective.

In scurta deplasare catre slujba ma sprijin de un colt al ferestrei vehicului vechi de ani de zile si citesc randuri adunate de pe blog.

Odata ajunsa la birou imi croiesc drum inspre noul meu „spatiu personal”, sorbesc cateva picaturi dintr-o cafea fierbinte preparata pe fuga si incep sa continui munca din ziua precedenta.

Avize, rapoarte, retururi, bonuri de consum, toate asteapta sa fie facute in timp rapid, corecte si precise pentru a usura munca celor de sus.

Cu ochii atintiti in ecranul plat, ma pierd in cifre intortocheate, schimonosite de virgule, alte cifre si puncte dupa ele; notez date dintr-un program obosit de vreme si notiuni, introducandu-le in Excel, gandindu-le si asezandu-le in ordinea firii.

Scaunul de la birou e inconfortabil iar atmosfera e zgomotoasa… tipete se aud din stanga si din dreapta, nimic pare sa nu fie la locul lui si totul e alandala.

Privesc in jur pentru o lamurire, o rezolvare la problema mea dar toata lumea pare sa fie blocata in dezordinea ei, aruncand hartii si cuvinte fara rost.

Dezamagita de situatie, ma ingrop in alte documente si calcule, dorindu-mi sa fi stiut rostul si scopul meu in acel loc.

Afara soarele topeste persoane nervoase, lasand in urma sudoare si indignare. Inauntru, razele sale poposesc foarte putin, aerul cald fiind inlocuit de unul semi-rece, innabusit de aglomeratia persistenta de oameni agasanti ce pare a se amplifica.

daiga-ellaby-354462-unsplashDar orele se scurg cu repeziciune iar timpul pare sa isi fi uitat masura, scurgand din clepsindra smocuri de nisip.

Cei dragi? Uitati poate; se afla undeva, intr-un loc anume… in apelurile ratate de pe telefon. Mi-as dori sa ii aud, sa le descopar respiratia si starea de spirit. Mi-as dori sa ma invalmaseasca cu un val de energie si speranta, sa imi spuna ca totul va fi bine si eu nu sunt blocata undeva, intr-o cutie de chibrituri… .

English version

The routine has also landed in my land, and time seems to be accelerating.

At the beginning of the day, as the sun rises, I prepare for a new journey from this short life, a necessary and indispensable element, namely work.

Sleeping, with intriguing eyes, I get ready in slow motion, with someone else’s will, and I throw in a bag everything I need for that day of work.

In the short trip to the job I support myself to a corner of the window of the old vehicle who has years of functioning and read rows gathered from the blog.

Once I get at my office I’m making my way to my new „personal space”, sipping a few drops of the hot coffee made on the run and continue my activity from the day before.

Notices, reports, returns, consumer vouchers, all are expected to be made in quick, accurate and precise time to ease the work of the people above me.

With eyes fixed on the flat screen, I lose in twisted numbers, scattered by commas, other figures and points after them; I write down data from a tired program of weather and notions, introducing them into Excel, thinking about them and putting them in the order of nature.

The office chair is uncomfortable and the atmosphere is noisy… screaming is heard from the left and right, nothing seems to be in his place and everything is inside out.

I look around for clarification, a solution to my problem, but everyone seems to be stuck in their clutter, throwing pointless papers and words.

Disappointed by the situation, I bury myself in other documents and calculations, wanting to know my role and purpose in that place.

Outside the sun melts people, leaving sweat and indignation. Inside, its rays are very small, with the warm air being replaced by a semi-cold one, overwhelmed by the persistent agglomeration of the angry people that seems to be amplifying.

Hours rush out quickly and time seems to have forgotten the measure, leaking from the hourglass sandbags.

Loved ones? Forgotten; they’re somewhere, in a certain place… found in missed calls on the phone. I would like to hear them, to discover their breathing and mood. I would like them to embrace me with a wave of energy and hope, to tell me that everything will be fine and that I’m not stuck somewhere in a box of matches… .

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Jobul intre dorinta si necesitate

Sunt genul de persoana careia nu ii place sa stea in loc, prefer sa fiu ocupata, activa. Inca de cand am terminat liceul am inceput sa lucrez, apoi m-am ocupat de facultate in timp ce am desfasurat activitati de voluntariat, in timpul vacantei preferam sa imi castig banutii prin munci sezoniere, prost platite.

Multa lume intreaba de ce aleg sa ma ocup cu atat de multe lucruri in acelasi timp si de ce nu imi las putin timp si pentru mine. Raspunsul, sincera sa fiu nu il am. Probabil sunt invatata sa ma aflu in aceasta rutina continua, sa fug de colo-colo, sa comunic cu persoane si sa ma implic.

Mi-am zis ca dupa finalizarea licentei ma voi relaxa. Ideea a fost acceptata undeva in mintea mea insa necesitatea a luat-o inainte. Mi-am tot imaginat care va fi jobul meu pe viitor, acum ca nu trebuie sa ma mai impart intre facultate si munca.

Normal, pentru mine ideal ar fi sa lucrez in domeniul alimentar. Am terminat un liceu de Industrie Alimentara cu calificarea de Tehnician Analize Laborator apoi am continuat cu facultatea de Inginerie Alimentara, cu specializarea Controlul si Expertiza Produselor Alimentare pe care, dupa cum bine stiti am finalizat-o si am si cursurile de auditor in Inginerie Alimentara (ISO 9000, 22 000, 14 000).

In ciuda faptului ca sunt destul de calificata in domeniu din punct de vedere al pregatirii, nu sunt potrivita din cauza faptului ca nu am experienta. Pe bancile scolii, facultatii nu ai cum sa prinzi experienta practic, adica se desfasoara stagii de practica dar nu sunt luate in considerare de companii ca experienta. Joburile mele sezoniere la Carrefour, Auchan in calitate de casier comercial, la Mobexpert in calitate de consilier de vanzari, operator calculator, precum si munca la firme din zona nu ma ajuta deloc, deoarece nu sunt in domeniul alimentar.

Saptamana aceasta am fost nevoita sa ma ocup de actele necesare unei viitoare angajari. Mi-am scos actele de la facultate, mi-am validat cardul de sanatate, am fost la medicul de familie si am fost la somaj. Este depresiv sa stii ca ai muncit atat de mult la studii si ca totusi trebuie sa treci prin atatea etape, zic eu inutile. Birocratia se afla la orice pas si fara o hartie de cativa centimetri, semnata in graba nu poti face nimic.

Am ales sa merg si la somaj pentru a-mi asigura o a doua sansa dar se pare ca trebuie sa astept pana pe 1 august. Inscrierile la joburile online nu imi aduc foarte multe garantii ci doar emailuri cu mesajul „aplicarea ta a fost vizualizata”. Am reusit sa merg la doua interviuri ce nu erau in domeniu si am primit doar promisiunea de a fi sunata.

Acum stau si privesc la viitor, nestiutoare despre ce va fi. Am diplome importante in mana dar care nu ma ajuta aici, in Suceava. Joburile in domeniu sunt deja oferite persoanelor „cu cunostinte” sau se afla la sute de kilometri departare.

Sper ca in timp sa reusesc sa ma angajez macar pe un post cu studii superioare daca nu in domeniu.

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