Disappointment and rejection

Dreams come and go, and they are incredible to start with. We become so enthusiastic about a new challenge that we are prepared to go above and beyond for things to work out in our favor. We’d get up early to discover things about the new dream, read more, and do our best not to disappoint.

But what happens when the new dream comes crashing down, when the path ahead is rocky, and we can’t seem to find the answers to our questions? It appears that our Universe has failed to fulfill its purpose, and we must embark on another journey although the track is unclear, foggy, and the baggage is heavy.

It’s foolish if we think about it. We get all the signals that something may go wrong, and we’re feeling that inner guilt rotting inside, sensing that it’s not going to happen, and yet we hope, yet we allow our dreams to spread their wings and fly.

Just like when our mama told us not to do something because we’ll get hurt, but we still did it because we wanted to and were too stubborn to listen. Did we shed any tears? You bet! Was it painful? Of course, it did, and we made sure that everyone around us was aware of it.

We eventually wiped away our salty tears, pulled up our sleeves to conceal the bleeding bruise, and went on to our next disappointment. Not all of the obstacles were painful or discouraging. Some of them helped us to climb higher and learn new things.

We’ve learned a lot along the road, and many times when we felt we were being turned down for something ‘good’, we were led to something greater. I suppose that every new opportunity brings with it a new set of aspirations and accomplishments, and no matter how many warnings we get, we’re never prepared for that kick. And we can’t expect to be shielded from everything in life; disappointment is a necessary part of growing up.

If we’ve been rejected and feel disappointed, it doesn’t mean the journey is over, it means that something greater is on the way.

Be patient, believe in yourself, and never give up hope; happiness and success are just around the corner.

Overthinking

What is the definition of life? What makes it truly significant and worthwhile? Is it the new job, the new laptop with the colorful keypad, or the dreadful sensation of the unknown that creeps in every night?

I recently struggled to make sense of these meanings and came up empty-handed. I’ve been going in circles for a long time, mostly because I’ve lost sight of my purpose, of the things I used to like doing, such as writing.

I’ve been terrible at delaying and doing everything but the one thing that makes me happy. It was fun to create ‘to-do lists,’ ‘what should I purchase next month lists,’ plan new activities, exercise, and schedule doctor visits to see what was wrong with me. 

I have to admit that ticking items off a list may be satisfying and inspirational, even if it doesn’t provide the same level of enjoyment as doing something you like. The best aspect is that most of the activities were beneficial to me, and my problems were resolved.

The previous several months have been life-changing, and I have changed as well. The routine has changed, and I’m attempting to improve each day by reading more and participating in new things that I never dreamed I’d be doing. I’ve gotten rid of the majority of my negative habits and replaced them with new ones.

I’ve got new hopes and aspirations, but I’ve also got new anxieties and obsessive thoughts. Before going to sleep, I can’t seem to stop my mind from racing, and I tend to overthink things more than usual.

I used to be frightened of new experiences and envisioned things that did not occur; it was all in my brain the whole time. That caused me to miss out on essential sleep hours and struggle with day-to-day tasks. When I first awakened, I found myself laughing and feeling sorry for myself. Nobody should do that to themselves, and it’s a good thing I discovered it.

Lose some strings along the way

It’s normal to be scared of the unknown and to wonder what will happen next after a significant transition, but what if, instead of worrying and pondering what may go wrong, we focused on what could go right?

Overthinking destroys the new’s delight and wonder. Life will never be perfect, and for that matter, we will never fully know what will happen. Instead of overthinking and attempting to control everything that may occur, take one step at a time rather than picturing the entire staircase.

Imagine where we’d be if we spent every day overthinking and attempting to plan and control everything that happened to us. Honestly, I don’t believe we could’ve ever envisioned ourselves in the places we are now, with the people we have in our life; I definitely couldn’t have imagined myself in this situation.

Woody Allen once said, ‘If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.’ Instead of creating plans that may never come true, realize that God already has a bigger plan for you, one that you could never have imagined, something out of the ordinary. Let go of the ties that bind you, relax, and remember to breathe and appreciate the delights of each new day.

Image Source – Unsplash,
Rodion Kutsaev

Pandemic thoughts

I don’t know what stopped me from writing for such a long time. It’s like a calling that emerges when I feel like it, when I’m hungry to remember what I’ve always loved.

There are days when I want to tear my soul off and burst into writing, and there are days when I want to be silent and fall into loneliness and sorrow. These are the days when writing is less achievable and when I want to get distracted with my present and work for the future.

Unfortunately for me, these days were like this, and to be truthful, because of duty, I did it all. I have forgotten my liking’s and only sunk into work and chores, as if it were ordinary and always so.

One thing I found was that when working from home, time seems to pass very quickly. I typically wake up in the morning, do some house chores and work with brief breaks until 5-6 PM. Then I go on with my chores until late, and when I finish, it’s too late, and I have to rest because I have to get up early for another round of routine tomorrow.

I don’t even know what makes me happy anymore at this point. I feel stuck in a repetitive game that keeps playing the same scenes and actors over and over again. I’m aware that all this is triggered more than ever by the pandemic and the fact that we have to be at home.

Sometimes I want to go back to the old every day, to enjoy the winter temperature, to feel my skin shivering, to see my colleagues and to participate in senseless dialogues, to laugh and have a nice time together without the dumb thought of an unknown virus, without barriers or fears.

I get to glance through the apartment window every day, and to be honest, it doesn’t feel the same way. I feel like a lot of things are missing, and I feel lonely, even though people are around me. I’m tired of Korean dramas and TV shows, I’ve even started reading, but I don’t feel like I can be there entirely.

It’s an emotional roller coaster, that you, dear reader, may or may not understand. If you know me well, you know that I usually am a happy, optimistic person with high future aspirations who is always encouraging people to have faith and confidence in tomorrow. The funny thing is, I don’t know if I have the strength to feel the same way and hide behind a happy mask.

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This year can give a rough and depressing time for us all, and while it isn’t easy, we need to be positive and have the courage to move forward, even though it feels like an immense weight that causes us and our loved one’s agony and sorrow.

It’s also important to be grateful for what we have, for the people that love and support us, for a home, a good job, and even a meal. There are people out there that don’t have these gifts that seem basic to us.

At the end of the day, as Thomas Merton said, we do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What we need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment and to embrace them with courage, faith, and hope.

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A new beginning

Hello, my dear readers and fellow bloggers! Today is Monday again, but this time it’s like I don’t feel the burden so hard on my chest. I have good feelings, feel good and I am positive. 🌞

I’ve been enjoying a week full of rest and now it is time to go back to work, still from home. I have to admit I missed the job and going back out there, helping people with IT issues. The quarantine is not lifted yet, will probably be on 15 may, as the authorities announced.

I miss my family members, the places where I grow up, I also miss the workplace, my colleagues, and the warm atmosphere. I can’t wait to return back at home and at the office and meet with everyone.

I do understand that measures are to be taken and that we need to be careful, stay protected, wear masks, and keep the distance. Even if the quarantine will be lifted the risk is still present, so the best for us is to pay attention to details and be responsible.

Nevertheless, I need to thank God for keeping us safe and healthy, even if at times we struggled and maybe did not always felt healthful and strong, things got better now. I am thankful that we have a job, a place where to stay and a new week is ahead of us.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess. Just breathe, and have faith that everything will work out for the best. 

Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. A smile. A world of optimism and hope. A ‘you can do it’ when things are tough. Richard M. DeVos

(Image Source – Unsplash, A.L)

A new day in quarantine

A new day has arrived, it’s Thursday. With this quarantine going on lately, I can barely feel the days passing, as I am living a feeling that every day is the same one and the time is lost in an hourglass, which keeps turning around moving the sand.

God allows me to wake up every day joyful though, filled with energy and happy to start another day. I move from the bed, freshen up, make a coffee, pet the cat and start working again.

I get to move the curtain, see the new light of the day, the risen sun but then when I throw my eyes on the street there is nobody, the path is empty. I don’t even see the stray cats or the gimp cute dog, Taz. All I can hear is silence, way too much silence.

I miss the view, the people, the atmosphere and mostly everything that made my day. It is funny how you can have it all and not be aware of it, treating it as it’s yours by the divine right, and then to simply lose it all in a moment.

Work routine

Every day is filled with new people and new challenges at work, new voices and new problems to be resolved on the line. Every day appears to be different, but every day cannot be felt truly.

Customers are scared of this Virus Situation and it can be felt through their lack of patience, their incapability of resolving situations that appear easy on a first look. The network speed is poor as there are many persons out there trying to escape the quarantine at home.

Last thoughts

To describe the situation in a few words, it’s a left-handed condition and at times I can feel like I had enough and that I want to give up. But then I remember why I started in the first place and have the hope that things will get better and we will overcome this storm that started against us.

That we are powerful and strong beings and that are capable of overcoming what challenges us at the moment, and that after this we will become more mature and able to face life and it’s ups and down’s with more courage and determination.

It’s being said that God only gives us what we can take, and never the things that are out of our power. Let’s remember that we are not alone in this life journey and always have God by our side. We are never alone.

At the end of the day, the most important thing is to know that we, our loved ones and the people around us are healthy and safe. And if being apart for now from them is what makes them better than it’s the least we can do.

As Meghan Daum said: „Distance is not for the fearful, it’s for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those who know a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough.”

Let’s try to distance ourselves from the people around us for the moment, and be bold, letting the fear vanish. We will be able to cherish more the future times spent together in health when the situation will calm down together with the loved ones and the people around us.

Take care, stay safe and stay protected!

Full week going on

Hello, my dear readers, how is your week going? I am sorry for not posting for a few days but my time was really short, I had many multiple activities this week that I got involved in.

I started Monday with a wild chase for March Presents for our dear colleagues at work, in a desire to surprise these people and bring them a smile on their faces (and also, to respect the March Tradition 😁).

(Image Source – Google Images)

We tried to limit ourselves to a budget, as the salary has not arrived yet into our accounts and there was no money to spare. In the end, everything went smoothly, the colleagues were happy with the presents and our work was fully appreciated.

Also, this week was pretty busy at work and we had to work on core hours, supporting the needs of the clients and meeting their expectations. This also included some work hours from home and new software testing.

I had to take care of the home (I like to see the home clean and spotless😁) to cook and to work out. Plus, completing surveys for a small income once a year it is always on the list.

It’s only Thursday but this week was so busy that I almost felt the rush in my bones, getting tired and trying my best to stay awake. Yesterday when I arrived home, I made myself a hot tea with linden and lemon and forgot about the food as it was noon. I ended up falling asleep and had the tea in the morning.

The best thing is that I woke up in the morning so relaxed and felt so good, having to sleep more than 6 hours. Now I am working around the house and took a small break to write on the blog and read my dear fellow blog posts and in a few hours, I have to get ready to go work again.

Conclusions

I don’t consider it a burden. I am thankful that I have a home, people that love and appreciate me, a good workplace with amazing colleagues and new opportunities.

Even if the salary income is not so big I am happy with what I have now and I am hopeful that in the future things will change for the better. I never had such a harmonious workplace and great people to work with since forever and I would like to thank God for bringing them in my life.

I am always eager to learn new things and got myself involved in a new voluntary project along with one of my colleagues. We get to learn new things about protecting the green space and work together for a better environment!

At the end of the day, I consider myself a lucky person and I am aware of the fact that God loves me and it only gives me the storms that I can go through. I have a role in this life and I make a difference in the lives of the persons I am in, as we all have.

We only have to be thankful for what we have in the present and live it fully as it is our only chance to improve our future, by being mindful and resilient. Always remember that we are not alone and thank God for every bad or good thing that happens to us because everything happens for a specific reason, to teach us a lesson and make us better persons.

(Image Source – Unsplash, Markus Spiske)

Flu symptoms and hope

I don’t know what is happening to me in the last few days but I don’t feel so good. My energy is all drained and I feel like I am failing to perform even the easiest tasks at home and work.

In the morning when I wake up my body is weak and every muscle is hurting me, my head aches so bad and I have fever. The eyes are swollen and I can barely open them as I tend to weep.

My voice is changed and I cough now and then and I am dizzy, failing to pay attention at things being disturbed by a tinnitus. My chest is in pain and I can barely speak as the tonsils are swollen.

My food appetite is low and I mostly eat fluid foods and drink a lot of tea and water. I have chills and if now I am hot in the next minute I am so cold that nothing could make me feel warm again.

Yesterday I thought that maybe the change of program at work and the working hours could interfere with my physical state but I think it is something else. With this constant change of weather the organism tends to fail.

The day before yesterday, outside were only 18 degrees, with sun and warm wind and yesterday it was snow and -1 degree. No wonder flu and other diseases are so easy to appear and affect the body.

Now I am treating myself with hot lemon tea with herbs, Theraflu and vitamin C to help the body recover. In a few hours I have to get ready for work and start a new productive day, ignoring the flu that catches me in its nets.

I am hopeful as the weekend approaches and I am free to stay in the bed, rest and recover from the flu. How is your week going? 🙂

(Image Source – Unsplash, Kelly Sikkema)

First post of 2020

Good morning, dear readers! Or rather, a happy new year, now that we have spent the first hours of the new year. 2020 has arrived quickly in my case, without too much fuss or preparation.

After a few days of visits to parents, relatives and acquaintances, events and cooking and cleaning sessions at home I can honestly declare that I feel tired. Especially since I started work on Monday, which adds to the fatigue and stress.

I managed to fall asleep a few minutes before the new year, at 10:40 PM overwhelmed by too many tasks and a terrible cold. However, my loved ones woke me up exactly a few minutes before the new year.

If in 2019 I had many questions and I was lost in thoughts and situations, 2020 is different, more secure. I started the new year with thoughts of peace. I have a beautiful family, ready to help at every moment, people who love me and a decent job.

I just wish that the year 2020 will be half as good as it was the previous year. Although 2019 has been tougher and more difficult, I can admit that I managed to develop and learn things that I didn’t even dream of.

Conclusions

The year 2020 is ahead of us and we are waiting to write another new chapter in our lives, and the best way to do this is by setting goals.

Time is limited and it does not make sense to waste it with insignificant details from other people’s lives. It is not necessary to pay so much attention to the malicious comments of those around us, lowering our courage and advantage. It is important to find the power to follow our heart and intuition by accomplishing what we aim for.

And if the year 2019 has been a difficult year, let us think that each end has a different beginning, in a continuous cycle. We still have 365 days to face our fears and overcome our disabilities, becoming a better version of us.

Changes are a part of this life, sometimes we have pain, sometimes beautiful things. Often life surprises us and we have both at the same time.

Change can bring fear, but the most frightening thing can be to let fear stop us from growing, evolving and progressing.

And if we make mistakes along the way, that’s fine. Because through mistakes we learn new things, trying new possibilities, working hard and practically changing ourselves and the world that we live in. We do new things, and more importantly we do something that matters.

New experiences and developments will await us in 2020. Let’s enjoy the blessings of the past and accept the promise of the future.

Happy New Year!

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Motivational quotes for a Monday evening

At the end of the Monday, the best way to end up the day is think positive about the actions that took place within the day and to focus on tomorrow. In this post I will share with you a few quotes about Monday and the days to come. Hope you will enjoy the quotes and the power within them!

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  1. Enjoy the journey and try to get better every day. And don’t lose the passion and the love for what you do. Nadia Comaneci
  2. Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose not to let little things upset yourself. Joel Osteen
  3. Keep looking up! I learn from the past, dream about the future and look up. There is nothing like a beautiful sunset to end a healthy day. Rachel Boston
  4. When you wake up each morning, you can choose to be happy or choose to be sad. Unless some terrible catastrophe happened the night before it is pretty much up to you. Tomorrow morning, when the sun shines through your window, choose to make it a happy day. Lynda Resnick
  5. At the end of the day, if I can say I had fun, it was a good day. Simone Biles
  6. Don’t judge the day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you plant. Robert Louis Stevenson
  7. Authenticity is everything. You have to wake up every morning and look in the mirror, and you want to be proud of the person who’s looking back at you. And you can only do that if you’re being honest with yourself and being a person of high character. You have an opportunity every single day to write that story of your life. Aaron Rodgers
  8. Each day holds a surprise. But only if we expect it can we see, hear or feel it when it comes to us. Let’s not be afraid to receive each day’s surprise whether it comes to us as a sorrow or as joy, It will open a new place in our hearts, a place where we can welcome new friends and celebrate more fully our shared humanity. Henri Nouwen
  9. I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes. E.E. Cummings
  10. I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today, I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I am going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx
  11. The older I get, the better I understand that every day is a gift. Joel Osteen
  12. At the end of the day, remind yourself that you did the best you could today, and that is good enough. Lori Deschene
  13. At the end of the day, give up your worries and give thanks for the journey. Ben Vereen
  14. You can waste so much energy trying to make everyone happy, but at the end of the day it’s impossible to please everyone, so you just need to focus on what makes you happy. Lauren Conrad
  15. I enjoy it and just smile through it. There are days where you’re just pulling your hair out, but, at the end of the day, we are the luckiest people alive, doing what we do and loving our job as much as we do. Things don’t get that much better. Eleanor Tomlinson
  16. Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’ Mary Anne Radmacher
  17. At the end of the day, it isn’t where I came from. Maybe home is somewhere I’m going and never have been before. Warsan Shire
  18. “It’s Monday. It’s a new week. God is doing a new thing. New doors. New breaks. New blessings. Prepare your mind. Enlarge your vision.”
  19. The evening’s the best part of the day. You’ve done your day’s work. Now you can put your feet up and enjoy it. Kazuo Ishigura
  20. At the end of the day, tell yourself gently: ‘I love you, you did the best you could today, and even if you didn’t accomplish all you had planned, I love you anyway.’ Anonymous.

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