Thought of the day 20#

Decisions, decisions and decisions, we rule our entire life by those strings. Sometimes I just stay and think, I just meditate about the present period but don’t usually think about future. Quotes say to live in the moment and enjoy the present, but what if sometimes hurried choices contour your life in future?… .

Things are meant to happen in time, one by one, step by step just to be felt and lived in  entire proportion. Patience should be the thing which enlightens our way, always and forever. It’s just sad that reality teaches us this fact, later, when it hurts the most.

We are young, we live and we love. Rules are not respected all the time and are there just for presence, and to be over-passed. When we are young we are free and do almost whatever we want, we go savage and live life to the fullest.

The heart is so fragile and easy to be broken, that we don’t even realize when that happens. It’s all laughs and happiness until left alone in solitude, and your heart just starts skipping a beat. Tic-tac, all the time on the watch of life, but time is always cruel.

We want to make a difference, to be someone, to be independent and fully responsible of our facts and decisions. We want to own the situation and be 100% proud of our development and courage that we have given proof in life, building huge castles of sand.

But castles of sand no matter how huge, they will always collapse at the strongest wave. And those situations you owned in past make no difference in the now situations, the ex future. Young souls are supposed to get crushed, turn into sand and after that be a part of something beautiful and huge again.

That is our life’s trace usually, get up and be awesome, fall back in our knees again, turn into flat sand, and rise again. The heart might get lost sometimes, but we should always use our brains just to get in the fact, accept the reality and move on.

William Shakespeare once written: I must be cruel, only to be kind. One should always be tough with a personal self, just to improve and become better in time.


(Image Source – Unsplash)

Gandul zilei 19#/Thought of the day 19#

Este seara si tarziu. Mult prea tarziu pentru a concluziona elementele importante ale zilei, mult prea obositor. Mintea este incarcata de notiuni nemaintalnite iar picioarele se simt greoaie si obosite, trupul este istovit. Dar cine mai sta sa numere orele si minutele scurse? La urma urmei timpul este facut sa treaca.

Afara e intuneric. Seara s-a lasat pe nesimtite, cuprinzand lumea intr-o manta neagra si umeda. Pe drum se zaresc faruri aprinse ale unor masini ratacite intr-o intersectie mult prea ingusta si becuri ce lumineaza slab soseaua.

Pe trotuar poti asculta pasii incalciti si grabiti ai trecatorilor osteniti adancindu-se in belti formate de sezonul ce tocmai a trecut. Lumea este agitata si se grabeste, fiecare la randul lui asteptand sa ajunga la adapost, intr-un loc cald si primitor, ferit de intemperii si tristeti, intr-un loc numit acasa.

In statia de microbuz, bancile de lemn sunt umede si mult prea reci. Stropii ascutiti de apa trec fulgeratori prin adapostul temporar, iar vantul arunca furios cu valuri de frig si neputinta. Fire subtiri si albe se ivesc de nicaieri pe cer, luminand pentru un moment intinderea pamanteasca.


Dar este abia luni si este ora 9 seara. Se arata o saptamana intreaga in fata plina de provocari si incercari, o saptamana intensa si lunga. La sfarsitul zilei ma simt amortita si mult prea obosita pentru a mai putea descrie si alte lucruri, lucruri vazute si simtite, lucruri care pot fi spuse si lucruri care trebuie tinute in adancul sufletului.

La sfarsitul zilei vreau doar sa tac si sa ascult ploaia, sa simt picaturile de ploaie pe piele contopindu-se cu sudoarea unei zile prelungite.

English version

It’s evening and late. Far too late to conclude the important elements of the day, far too exhausting. The mind is loaded with unimaginable notions and the legs feel awkward and tired, the body is exhausted. But who else can count the hours and minutes spent? After all, time is gone.

Outside it’s dark. The evening was left unmoved, encompassing the world in a black and wet mantle. On the way there are light beams of lost cars in a too narrow intersection, and light bulbs illuminating the road.

On the sidewalk you can listen to the hurried footsteps of the wandering passers by deepening into puddle formed by the season that has just passed. The world is agitated and hurrying, each in turn waiting to go to shelter, in a warm and welcoming place, away from the weather and sadness, in a place called home.

In the minibus station, wood benches are damp and too cold. Sparkling water splashes are flashing through the temporary shelter, and the wind blows furiously with cold waves and powerlessness. Thin and white threads rise out of the sky, lighting up for a moment the earthly stretch.

But it’s only Monday and it’s 9 o’clock in the evening. It will be a full week full of challenges and trials, a long and intense week. At the end of the day I feel numb and too tired to be able to describe other things, things seen and felt, things that can be said and things to be kept deep in the soul.

At the end of the day I just want to hear the silence and listen to the rain, to feel the drops of rain on the skin merging with the sweat of a prolonged day.

Gandul zilei 17#/Thought of the day 17#

In dimineata aceasta tocmai ce am avut un „wake up call”. Citeam un articol din feed-ul meu WordPress despre recunostinta, si despre a spune multumesc pentru tot ceea ce avem.

V-ati gandit vreodata la cat de nemultumiti putem fi? La cat de multe lucruri ne dorim si apoi dupa ce le avem cat de usor ne plictisim de ele si mergem mai departe ca si cum nimic nu s-ar fi intamplat? Sa va dau un exemplu.

Acum cateva zile, eram extrem de nemultumita, deprimata chiar, de faptul ca nu gaseam un job potrivit si ca eram mai mereu acasa, nereusind sa aduc un venit si fiind incapabila sa ma dezvolt. De saptamana aceasta situatia s-a schimbat, am un job mai mult decat placut, intr-un mediu minunat si agreabil, insa normal ca am o problema: Managementul timpului.

Pentru prima saptamana este putin cam dificil sa ma adaptez la programul de serviciu, la treburile de pe acasa si la activitatea de pe blog. Dar, din fericire ajung chiar la momentele potrivite in timp util fara a intarzia sau a nu realiza vreun lucru din ce imi propun.

Sigur ca sunt mai epuizata psihic datorita „sarcinii” de noi cunostinte, si la fel de obosita fizic dar sunt multumita, deoarece mi s-a indeplinit dorinta si pot evolua. Dar, normal, ca orice om am si nemultumiri si imi doresc sa pot functiona si mai bine dand un randament mai productiv.

Dar treptat realizez ca totul necesita timp, perseverenta si dedicare. Si ca in loc sa ma plang, ca am prea multe task-uri si prea putin timp la dispozitie pentru a le rezolva pot sa spun un simplu dar sincer „Multumesc” lui Dumnezeu ca m-a adus intr-un prezent mai mult decat perfect, alaturi de oameni frumosi si momente deosebite.

Asadar am doua alegeri: Sa ma plang si sa fiu morocanoasa sau sa fiu recunoscatoare si fericita pentru ceea ce am, muncind pentru un viitor mai bun, pentru o mai buna „eu”. Se spune ca recunostinta este o virtute a sufletelor nobile, cheia prosperitatii si fericirea dublata de surprindere.

Pentru mine recunostinta este un adevar ce l-am acceptat cu sufletul impacat, fiind multumita pentru ca ceea ce am cerut depaseste ceea ce am primit. Astfel, iau ziua de astazi ca pe un dar, eliberandu-ma din inchisoara preocuparii de sine.

Buddha spunea : “Sa ne ridicam si sa fim recunoscatori, pentru ca, daca nu am invatat multe lucruri astazi, macar am invatat putine, iar daca nu am invatat nici putine, macar nu ne-am îmbolnavit, iar daca ne-am îmbolnavit, macar nu am murit; așa ca, haideti sa fim cu totii recunoscatori.”

English version

This morning I just had a „wake up call”. I read an article in my WordPress feed about gratitude, and about saying thank you for everything that we have.

Have you ever thought how discontented we can be? How many things do we want and then after we have them as easily bored with them and go on as if nothing had happened? Let me give you an example.

A few days ago, I was extremely unhappy, depressed, that I was not able finding a job, and that I was always at home, unable to make a living and being unable to grow. This week the situation has changed, I have a job more than pleasant, in a wonderful and agreeable environment, but normally I have a problem: Time management.

For the first week it’s a little difficult to adapt to work schedule, homework and blog activity. But fortunately I get to the right moments in a timely manner without delaying or not doing any of what I propose to myself.

Of course I’m more psychologically exhausted due to the „hardness” of new knowledge, and as well physically tired but I’m happy because my desire has been fulfilled and I can evolve. But normally, like any man I have and discontent, and I wish I could work better and give a more productive situation.

But gradually I realize that everything requires time, perseverance and dedication. And instead of crying that I have too many tasks and too little time to solve them I can say a simple but sincere „Thank you” to God that brought me into a more than perfect present, alongside beautiful people and special moments.

So I have two choices: To cry and be sad or to be grateful and happy for what I have, working for a better future for a better „I”. It is said that gratitude is a virtue of noble souls, the key to prosperity and happiness doubled by surprise.

For me, gratitude is a truth that I have accepted with my heart, and I am pleased that what I asked exceeded what I received. Thus, I take this day as a gift, freeing me from the prison of self-concern.

Buddha said, „Let us rise up and be grateful, for if we have not learned much today, at least we have learned a little, and if we did not learn a little, at least we did not get sick and if we got sick, at least I did not die; so let’s all be grateful. „

(Image Source – Unsplash)

Thought of the day 16#

There are days and days. Some days are better, some are worse. In the end it all depends on how we think about it, on how we feel it. I don’t know about you guys, but there has been some days in which I found myself thinking: What am I doing here? Was I meant to be in this place, to live this life?

I can’t say I hate my life cause I am not. I am just lost in the clouds sometimes trying to figure out things, things that may work out for me and things that may not. Lately, it has been a blurry period for me. As you may know, if you have been reading my latest posts, I have been through a lot. I have been fighting with this harsh reality, trying to find a better job, a place where I could work and develop, a place where I could be myself.

And to be honest, it wasn’t easy at all. To be stuck in a present where everybody was busy with their own thing and you just had to go through through fog, to discover who you really are and what you were truly made for. Living in a place like Suceava, doesn’t give you so much opportunities and open doors. You have to fight for a place of work you should have had from the beginning, but politicians don’t give a thing about that, not in Romania.

Two weeks ago I left my other job because of the fact that I was getting sick, physically and mentally. My legs still hurt because all the cold I had to endure and I still have flu, and my mind is stuck in all those numbers and unsatisfied employees, but hey! I had the guts to leave that place for the better, to find a better way to evolve and discover myself.

Yeah, it may sound easy at first but it’s not. I can’t tell you how many times I felt like a nothing. Since I graduated I changed 2 jobs because of the environment, because of the loud yelling and other reasons which imprisoned my development and work.

People, stopped, looked and concluded! Everybody asked me why had I took that decision and didn’t work anymore. They were almost sure that I was a lazy and impassive person who just wants to stay at home. Acid words which hurt when you say them without even thinking or at least care about what really happened.

In their times things didn’t worked like that, people in times of our parents had a job which continued from when they graduated until they got older and retire. I wish I could have lived their times though!… . The times when you didn’t have to worry about tomorrow because you got it assured, because the state was helping you with real jobs, and supported your tomorrow.

I listened, answered with simple words and moved on. But somewhere, deep inside, those words hurt. In the end I became another person. A cold and stubborn person, which I may not recognize myself in the mirror at first. Going through rough storms usually changes you, literally. But if one thing doesn’t stop, and grows stronger, that’s not giving up.

Not giving up, I don’t want to give up and I will never give up! These were the words I kept saying to myself, on and on. So here I was… Going to numberless interview, trying to convince people of my skills and abilities, finding a place for me. People looked at me, questioned me, and promised to give a feedback in a few days.

So, days went into weeks and this last week I finally got an answer. After talking in English almost 2 hours and completing a 5 page test I got admitted, as a customer support in English. It’s not much, it’s not the field I studied, but in balance for now it’s the best choice. The best part is that you can improve yourself in time and reach a better position in company, which is awesome!

I know what I am capable of and I believe in me and my skills; in the end if it’s something people can’t take from you, is your knowledge and ingenuity. I just hope for the best and have trust in tomorrow. I have a vision for tomorrow that my place is where it has to be and awaits me, no matter what people might think or say because the real answer is in me!


(Image Source – Unsplash)

Gandul zilei 16#/Thought of the day 16#

Am vazut articole in desfasuratorul meu de pe blog, articole triste, articole depresive. Nu imi dau seama daca de vina este frigul de afara sau doar inima lor le este tulburata. Cunosc persoane care posteaza in fiecare zi articole despre depresie, despre cum se chinuie sa ajunga ziua de maine pentru ca pur si simplu nu pot vedea o rezolvare la problema lor.

Nu voi da nume acum, nu ma intereseaza sa nominalizez pe cineva, deoarece situatia imi este familiara. De foarte multe ori viata ne pune in situatii din care pentru a iesi, trebuie sa luptam, trebuie sa ne schimbam. Sa iesim din zona de confort si sa cucerim lumea.

Povestea vietii mele in cateva randuri…

Imi aduc aminte ca, dupa ce am finalizat liceul am vrut sa imi iau viata in propriile maini, am vrut sa fiu responsabila. Le-am spus parintilor ca vreau sa lucrez cu orice pret, indiferent de conditii si salariu, ca vreau sa fiu utila.

Asadar, primul meu job, la 18 ani a fost, pe hartie, muncitor sortator. In realitate, faceam mult mai multe. Ma trezeam dimineata la 5, pentru ca la 6 sa fiu in fabrica de lemn. Slefuiam, chituiam, asezam lemne, sortam, lucram cu utilaje mecanizate, ambalam, ridicam… aproape orice activitate ce se desfasura in acea fabrica ma cuprindea si pe mine.

Ajungeam seara la orele 5-6, de foarte multe ori si 9-10 in momentele cand ajungea tirul cu marfa, deoarece trebuia sa ajut. De luni pana sambata, de la 6 la 5 munceam din greu. Slabisem in 3 luni 20 de kg. Daca in trecut, plangeam cand ma zgaria ceva, acum era o obisnuinta. Aveam degetele pline de aschii si eram lovita.

Acasa, am inceput sa renovam, si incepusem sa ma implic si acolo. Dadeam cu var si atunci a fost prima data cand am inceput sa pictez pe pereti. Dar nu ma intelegeti gresit, nu eram nefericita, ci din contra. Ma incanta ideea ca muncesc pentru banutii mei, si eram sigura ca ma vor ajuta in ascensiunea mea la facultate. Luam 600 de lei pe luna si am insistat sa imi primesc banii la sfarsitul celor 3 luni. Astfel, fiecare aschie, fiecare efort pe care il faceam la serviciu si acasa ma ajuta. Credeam si simteam asta.

In acel moment al vietii, am ajuns sa cunosc o persoana diferita. Initial, nu mi-am dorit acest lucru dar totul s-a intamplat pe parcurs. De dimineata pana seara eram la lucru, iar noaptea pictam si vorbeam la telefon. Dormeam 3 ore pe noapte si eram istovita.

La un moment dat, am finalizat munca si ma pregateam pentru facultate. Acel el pe care l-am cunoscut, era de varsta mea si la fel ca si mine, se pregatea sa mearga la facultate, dar in alt oras. Mi-am dorit sa merg impreuna cu el la acea facultate insa parintii mei s-au opus.

Insa el, a fost un idiot. Dupa dezaprobarea parintilor mei de a merge impreuna la aceeasi facultate s-a schimbat total fata de mine. A inceput sa imi vorbeasca urat si sa ma jigneasca. A inceput sa vorbeasca urat fata de parintii mei, si atunci am stiut ca s-a terminat.

Prima luna la facultate a fost dezastru. Nu cunosteam pe nimeni iar materia predata nu semana cu absolut nimic din ce invatasem in liceu. Inca mai sufeream dupa acea etapa tumultuoasa din viata mea si abia ma puteam concentra. In acel moment locuiam in micul oras cu o matusa de-a mea pe care nu o cunoscusem niciodata. O persoana rece, de care nu ma puteam atasa, si careia nu-i puteam dezvalui durerile sufletului meu.

Singurele persoane care ma intelegeau si imi erau alaturi erau parintii mei. Insa ei nu ascultau ceea ce aveam eu de spus, doar imi concluzionau faptele, punandu-ma in fata cu realitatea dura si aspra. Astfel, fiecare zi era o noua zi pentru varsat lacrimi si jeluit. In special seara, cand ramaneam singura. Plangeam si ma rugam. Ma rugam si plangeam.

Dupa o vizita acasa, la parintii mei care si ei erau ingrijorati in privinta mea, plangand cot la cot cu mine, mi-a fost pusa o intrebare simpla de catre tatal meu: „Catalina, tu ce iti doresti? Daca vrei, lasa-te de facultate si vino si lucreaza din nou, la fabrica.”

In acel moment, mi s-a oprit tot filmul trecutului care se derula la nesfarsit in capul meu si am realizat adevarul. Chiar imi doream acel lucru? Sa muncesc intr-o fabrica pentru tot restul vietii mele? Raspunsul a venit inainte sa-l pot gandi. NU, NORMAL CA NU.

Atunci mi-am impachetat lucrurile si am plecat in graba catre oras. Am luat decizia de a-mi schimba „chiriasa” si de a ma concentra cu totul pe studii. Nu putea fi atat de greu, daca am ajuns pana la facultate atunci sigur puteam face fata.

Inainte sa-mi dau seama, ma mutasem impreuna cu o vecina si alte 4 fete la o doamna foarte draguta, cu cel mai cald si primitor suflet. Apartamentul era plin de galagie, de vorba si veselie. Treptat, am reusit sa ma perfectionez si la studii, in scurt timp deslusind tainele incurcate ale chimiei.

Pana in vara eram o alta persoana, eram sigura pe mine si puternica. Imi recapatasem increderea in mine si eram gata sa infrunt necunoscutul, cu orice pret. In scurt timp, totul a inceput sa capete sens, am desfasurat activitati de voluntariat, m-am implicat in diverse evenimente, invatam si munceam din nou. Inainte sa imi dau seama, eram inconjurata de oameni si eram mai mult decat fericita, eram implinita.

Anii au trecut usor, usor. Am mai avut parte de provocari, de stari depresive, de tristeti insa nici una nu m-a doborat. Cu ajutorul lui Dumnezeu am absolvit facultatea, m-am casatorit si acum sunt in cautarea locului „perfect” de munca.

Am fost certata, am fost jignita si am trecut prin tot felul de scenarii negative insa am invatat un singur lucru. Nu exista o cale usoara, pentru a ne imbunatati abilitatile si capacitatile trebuie sa trecem prin toate furtunile. Important este sa luam lucrurile exact asa cum sunt, culegand doar partile bune. La urma urmei, fiecare sut in fund reprezinta un pas inainte.

Viata nu este o calatorie usoara, niciodata nu a fost si niciodata nu va fi. Nu putem elimina cu totul obstacolele din calea noastra, si cu siguranta nu le vom depasi prin depresie si anxietate.

In momentele dificile ale vietii trebuie sa avem rabdare, incredere in noi si sa ne indreptam cu pasi marunti dar siguri catre viitor. Trebuie sa ne amintim ca suntem puternici si ca putem face asta. Se spune ca suferintele pregatesc oameni obisnuiti pentru un destin extraordinar, trebuie doar sa deschidem ochii si sa acceptam realitatea.

English version

I’ve seen articles in my blogger feed, sad articles, depressing articles. I can not tell if to blame is the outside cold or just their heart is disturbed. I know people posting articles every day about depression, how they struggle to get to tomorrow because they just can not see a solution to their problem.

I will not give any names now, I do not care to nominate someone because their situation is familiar to me. Very often life puts us in situations where to get out, we have to fight, we have to change. Let’s get out of the comfort zone and conquer the world.

                                                 The story of my life in a few lines …

I remember that after finishing high school I wanted to take my life in my own hands, I wanted to be responsible. I told my parents that I want to work at all costs, regardless of conditions and salary, that I want to be useful.So my first job at age 18 was a sorting worker, on the paper.

In fact, I did a lot more. I woke up at 5 o’clock in the morning to be in the wood factory at 6 o’clock. I polished, I was laying varnish, sorting, I was working with mechanized machines, I packed, I picked up heavy wood packs… almost any activity that took place in that factory included me. I was arriving home at 17-18 hours, very often, and 21-22 at the times when we had to load the cargo trailer, because I had to help.

From Monday to Saturday, from 6 am to 17 pm, I worked hard. I had lost 20 kg in 3 months. If in the past I was crying when I was scratched by something, it was now a habit. I had my fingers full of matchwood and I was hit. At home, we started to renovate, and I started to get involved there. It was the first time I started painting on the walls. But do not misunderstand me, I was not unhappy, but on the contrary.

I was delighted with the idea of ​​working for my money, and I was sure they would help me in my ascension to university. I took 600 lei a month and insisted on receiving my money at the end of the 3 months. So every matchwood, every effort I made at work and at home helped me. I thought and felt that.At that moment of life, I came to know a different person, I fell in love. Initially, I did not want this, but everything happened along the way.

From morning till night I was at work, and at night I was painting and talking on the phone. I slept for 3 hours a night and I was exhausted. At one point I finished my work and I was preparing for college. The one I met was my age and, just like me, was preparing to go to college, but in another city. I wanted to go with him to that faculty but my parents opposed.I loved him as the sun loves the sky and moon the stars. I wanted to spend every moment of my life with him, to be together.

But he was an idiot. After my parents’ disapproval of going together to the same faculty has changed completely to me. He began to talk to me badly and to offend me. She started to talk badly to my parents, and then I knew it was over.The first month at college was a disaster. I did not know anybody, and the taught matter did not resemble anything I had learned in high school. I still suffered after that tumultuous phase of my life and I could hardly concentrate.

At that moment I was living in the little town with my own aunt I had never met. A cold person, whom I could not attach to, and whom I could not reveal to my soul. The only people who understood and were next to me, were my parents. But they did not listen to what I had to say, they only concluded my deeds, putting me in front of the hard and harsh reality. So every day was a new day for tears and sadness. Especially in the evenings when I was alone. I was crying and praying. I was praying and crying.

After a home visit, to my parents who were also worried about me, crying side by side with me, I was asked a simple question by my father: „Catalina, what do you want? If you want, you can quit college and come and work again at the factory. „At that moment, all the movie of the past, which unfolded endlessly in my head stopped, and I realized the truth. Did I really wanted that thing? To work in a factory for the rest of my life? The answer came before I could think it. NO, NORMALLY NOT.

Then I packed my stuff and left for the city. I made the decision to change my „tenant” and focus entirely on studies. It could not have been that hard, if I got to college then I could definitely deal with it. Before I realized, I had moved with a neighbor and four other girls to a very nice lady with the warmest and most welcoming soul. The apartment was full of laughter, talk and joy. Gradually I succeeded in perfecting my studies, shortly revealing the tainted mysteries of chemistry.

By the summer, I was another person, I was sure of myself and a strong one. I had regained confidence in myself and was ready to face the unknown at all costs. Soon after, everything started to make sense, I volunteered, I got involved in various events, I learned and worked again.

Before I realized, I was surrounded by people and I was more than happy, I was fulfilled. Years passed easily. I’ve had challenges, I have been depressed, I have been sad, but none of them has broken me down. With God’s help, I graduated from college, got married, and now I’m looking for the „perfect” work place.

I was argued, I was offended and I went through all sorts of negative scenarios but I learned one thing. There is no easy way, to improve our abilities and capabilities we must go through all the storms. It is important to take things just as they are, picking up only good parts. After all, every kick in the bottom is a step forward.

Life is not an easy journey, it has never been and will never be. We can not completely eliminate the obstacles in our path, and we certainly will not overcome them by depression and anxiety.

In the difficult moments of life, we must have patience, trust in us, and move forward with small but secure steps towards the future. We have to remember that we are strong and that we can do that. It is said that the sufferings prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny, we only need to open our eyes and accept the reality.

(Photo Source – Personal library)

Thought of the day 15#

It’s been a rough week for me. I can’t only think of one day in which I haven’t shed a tear, and it’s only Thursday.

My heart is so full and so scattered by unwanted feelings and thoughts and sadly, I have no one to tell that. Everyone is busy with their routine and I get the feeling that I am the only one who is messed up, blocked between lines and scenarios.

On Monday I found out that I lost my husband’s grandparent, a person whom I really cared for with all my heart. Also, Monday was the day I quit my job, and had to find a thing to catch on until I can find another job.

Tuesday, Wednesday were the same. Two days with a painful routine, in which I had to let go the feelings of the past job and fight with the changing character of people near me. Cold, sad and angry temper, that is what I got… for each day going by.

I wanted to talk to people, but they seem all so busy, so caught up and I felt that I am somewhere, lost among the way and can’t find the pieces to finally match this life puzzle. In the end I just gave up, and started to do some home jobs around the house.

Today I buried my dear grandparent and to be honest, I didn’t get the time to even feel sorry about myself. It was so cold outside that my inner soul was shaking and my body was senseless. All I could feel was tears and sorrow, for a beautiful soul that will never come back.

At the end of the day I feel alone and sad. Somehow I feel that a part of the storm passed away, but I still have to manage the other one, and fight with the tomorrow’s unknown.

I just hope that tomorrow will get better.


(Image Source – Unsplash)

Gandul zilei 14#/Thought of the day 14#

Cand eram mica cuprindeam toata lumea in doar o privire. Din micul colt ingust al casei, printre magazii si copaci vesnic verzi exista un triunghi de lumina, brazdat de o stralucire albastra pura.

In mintea mea de copil imatur, acea regiune ingusta era preferata mea, acolo obisnuiam sa imi imaginez ziua de maine, contempland la persoane nemaintalnite si orizonturi nedescoperite.

Priveam intinderea lumii cu incantare si imi doream sa cuceresc fiecare petic de pamant la pas, dintr-o zona aleasa aleatoriu, imi doream sa calatoresc. Nu vedeam obstacole, nu imi imaginam ca o sa patrund in caminul cuiva sau pe pamanturile unor persoane, doar ma inchipuiam mergand fara un scop anume, savurand necunoscutul.

Covorul verde si moale, parfumat in arome dulci si proaspete de primavara era preferatul meu; nu aveam nevoie de incaperi luxuriante sau de prieteni falsi, ci doar de acel moment de liniste si reverie. Admiram puritatea si naturaletea gradinii in plin sezon,  zumzetul albinelor voioase si harnice, pasii incalciti a paianjenilor incleiati in chitina si sunetul melodios al pasarilor primavaratice.

Cerul spune o multitudine de povesti. L-am admirat inca din primii ani ai vietii si il admir cu incantare si astazi, in plina iarna, in zile de decembrie cum decoreaza intinderea cereasca intr-un amalgam de nuante vii.

Cerul ne este prieten de drum oriunde am poposi. Daca deschidem ochii cu atentie si lasam deoparte grijile si frustrarile, vom descoperi cu emotie in suflet frumusetea si linistea pe care o confera cerul, in fiecare zi.

Spre exemplu, ieri urmaream cu interes prin intermediul geamului masinii imaginile fugitive ce treceau fulgerator, una dupa alta. Pe o foaie imensa de desen, creatorul lumii picteaza cu mana stanga, linii sterse si palide cu bucle intortocheate si incalcite. Printre ele se perinda pasari grabite si infrigurate, ce parca isi cauta iesirea din labirintul ceresc, pierdute printre arbori ingusti secatuiti de viata si frunze.

Cuvinte melodioase pentru zile frumoase

Auriu, Albastru deschis, albastru-roziatic, alb, alb-cenusiu si spre final negru – acestea sunt culorile iernii ce ne inunda in fiecare zi intinderea cereasca.

Cand intampini o zi grea respira adanc si priveste cerul. Daca este gri gandeste-te ca in spatele norilor pufosi se afla un cer senin, albastru si curat, exact ca sufletul tau; si ca, precum norii grei trebuie sa devina pufosi prin ploaie, asa si sufletul tau trebuie sa se aline prin cateva lacrimi.

Asadar, la inceputul zilei gandeste-te ca cerul se afla pretutindeni si povestea incepe de la picioarele tale.


(Sursa Imaginii – Unsplash)

English version

When I were small, I included everyone in just a glance. From the narrow corners of the house, there was a triangle of light, full of pure blue glow, among greenhouses and evergreen trees.

In my child immature mind, that narrow region was my favorite, I used to imagine tomorrow, contemplating unseen people and undiscovered horizons.

I watched the expanse of the world with delight and I wanted to conquer every patch of earth in a step, from a randomly chosen area, I wanted to travel. I did not see obstacles, I did not imagine I was going to get into someone’s home or some people’s lands, I just imagined going without a specific purpose, savoring the unknown.

The green and soft green carpet, fragrant in sweet and fresh spring flavors, was my favorite; I did not need fancy rooms or fake friends, but just that moment of silence and reverie. I loved the purity and nature of the garden in the full season, the buzzing of the hard working bees, the tangled steps of the spiders grazed in chitin and the melodious sound of the spring birds.

Heaven says a multitude of stories. I have admired him since the early years of my life and I admire him with delight today, in 2019 winter, in December as decorating the heavenly expanse in a mixture of living shades.

Heaven is our friend on the road wherever we go. If we open our eyes carefully and leave aside the worries and frustrations, we will discover with excitement in the soul the beauty and the peace that the sky gives us every day.

For example, yesterday I watched with interest through the window of the car the fugitive images that were flashing one after the other. On a huge sheet of drawing, the creator of the world paints with his left hand, broken and pale lines with crooked and loose curls. Among them were hurried and lost birds, as if looking for the exit of the heavenly labyrinth, lost among the lush, dry trees of life and leaves.

Warm words for beautiful days

Golden, light blue, rosy blue, white, gray and white to the end black – these are the winter colors that flood our sky every day.

When you encounter a heavy day, breathe deeply and look at the sky. If it is gray, think that behind the fluffy clouds is a clear, blue and clean sky, just like your soul; and that, like heavy clouds, they must become fluffy in the rain, so your soul must relax with some tears.

So at the beginning of the day think that the sky is everywhere and the story begins right at your feet.

(Image Source – Unsplash)