Overthinking

What is the definition of life? What makes it truly significant and worthwhile? Is it the new job, the new laptop with the colorful keypad, or the dreadful sensation of the unknown that creeps in every night?

I recently struggled to make sense of these meanings and came up empty-handed. I’ve been going in circles for a long time, mostly because I’ve lost sight of my purpose, of the things I used to like doing, such as writing.

I’ve been terrible at delaying and doing everything but the one thing that makes me happy. It was fun to create ‘to-do lists,’ ‘what should I purchase next month lists,’ plan new activities, exercise, and schedule doctor visits to see what was wrong with me. 

I have to admit that ticking items off a list may be satisfying and inspirational, even if it doesn’t provide the same level of enjoyment as doing something you like. The best aspect is that most of the activities were beneficial to me, and my problems were resolved.

The previous several months have been life-changing, and I have changed as well. The routine has changed, and I’m attempting to improve each day by reading more and participating in new things that I never dreamed I’d be doing. I’ve gotten rid of the majority of my negative habits and replaced them with new ones.

I’ve got new hopes and aspirations, but I’ve also got new anxieties and obsessive thoughts. Before going to sleep, I can’t seem to stop my mind from racing, and I tend to overthink things more than usual.

I used to be frightened of new experiences and envisioned things that did not occur; it was all in my brain the whole time. That caused me to miss out on essential sleep hours and struggle with day-to-day tasks. When I first awakened, I found myself laughing and feeling sorry for myself. Nobody should do that to themselves, and it’s a good thing I discovered it.

Lose some strings along the way

It’s normal to be scared of the unknown and to wonder what will happen next after a significant transition, but what if, instead of worrying and pondering what may go wrong, we focused on what could go right?

Overthinking destroys the new’s delight and wonder. Life will never be perfect, and for that matter, we will never fully know what will happen. Instead of overthinking and attempting to control everything that may occur, take one step at a time rather than picturing the entire staircase.

Imagine where we’d be if we spent every day overthinking and attempting to plan and control everything that happened to us. Honestly, I don’t believe we could’ve ever envisioned ourselves in the places we are now, with the people we have in our life; I definitely couldn’t have imagined myself in this situation.

Woody Allen once said, ‘If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.’ Instead of creating plans that may never come true, realize that God already has a bigger plan for you, one that you could never have imagined, something out of the ordinary. Let go of the ties that bind you, relax, and remember to breathe and appreciate the delights of each new day.

Image Source – Unsplash,
Rodion Kutsaev

Wednesday thoughts

Hello, dear writers and readers! It’s been again a few days since I haven’t managed to post so much, mostly because of the busy work schedule and the other life challenges. I hope you’ve been well, and I missed you!

As you know from my previous posts, I have been through some rough times, health issues, and work changes. I still have mountains to climb, to say so, but I have more courage now. My health issues are not entirely resolved, but I have faith that this too, shall pass.

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If I have learned something from the recent life events, is that I don’t need to be such a scared chicken and accept the reality. At times, we are so afraid and worried about what could go wrong that we tend to forget what got us there in the first place, and what we have fought for.

We need to find the power to sit with the pain until it passes, in this way, we will be more prepared for what comes next. It’s important to acknowledge the fact that great things never arrived from comfort zones.

Pain is inevitable at one moment in life. We can’t avoid it forever. 

Instead of being afraid and running away from the pain, we should focus on the change and what good benefits we can achieve from it.

As Mary Tyler Moore said, The pain nourishes courage. You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you. At times, what hurts us is what heals us. This is why it’s essential to find the inner strength to fight the odds against us and to oppose it when it’s the case.

We are in charge of our lives, and our decisions may transform tomorrow in a brighter day, full of hope and success. We simply need to believe and to stay focused.

Baby steps

Make today a decision that will change your life, a tiny one. Change your computer password to a NewBeggining#100, dare to address your fears, and fight through the pain.

Although today may not offer you that many expectations, hang in there. Tomorrow is coming, and a new change stands in front of you, with a brighter sun and a milder rain. Dare to have a daydream and allow yourself to evade from the daily routine.

Allow yourself to prosper and have only good thoughts. Ignore that man or that woman that said something hurtful to you. At times, the offensive words are not oriented to you, but to them directly. See positive things happening, and they will not cease to appear.

Anxiety and fear

Hello, my dear writers and readers! It’s been a full week going on, and I haven’t posted so much because of my worries and stressful tasks. At times, I just wanted to get my things done so that I can relax or better said, sleep. It was a good plan altogether but it did not work as I have planned.

As you know from my previous posts, I have been excited about returning to the dentist and had my hopes up. That lasted just until I have arrived at the cabinet, of course. On that day it rained a lot, hence I had to walk because I missed the bus, took a tooth radiography, and went to the dentist.

Unfortunately, this lady had an examination team over to their cabinet, due to the Covid-19 Situation, and I had to wait for two hours in the rain and cold. In the morning when I left it was like 30 degrees Celsius, and then it turned out to 15.

When I arrived to see her, I don’t know if I was shaking because I was afraid of the procedure or because of the cold weather. She felt pity for me, and we eventually, had to reschedule the tooth surgery because I have also had an infection. Great!

Now a new treatment is required, and I haven’t even managed to finish the one for chronic gastritis and H. Pylori. This stress and anxiety made it worse for the stomach affection, and now it hurts again.

I’ve been alone mostly this week, and I just felt so stressed about work, knowing that the project will end in a few months, and I have had so many negative thoughts in my mind, that I almost can’t describe. I’ve even considering applying for other jobs to be assured in the future.

Plus, I have to work two weekends, and we should return to the office, things that I can’t do yet because of my tooth infection and the medical procedures. This, and because the office has the air conditioner too strong.

This week I felt the need to cry, to scream, to disappear. I feel so overwhelmed with everything, and I am very anxious. But this needs to end, and I have to get back on the right track. Even if it’s hard and painful, I have to be faithful and trust God, knowing that this too, shall pass.

(Image Source – Unsplash, Katherine Gu)

Medical worries

Hello, dear readers! I am sorry for not posting in a week, I have been busy with work and house chores, as always in this period. What is different in this period is that I am more stressed and worried.

Last week I decided that it is time to go and see a dentist. It’s been years since I avoided that place but it is time to realize that it’s necessary. Mostly because I have caries and two teeth that have to be removed. It’s painful, uncomfortable and something I have to take care of as soon as possible.

To be honest, I am a little bit scared and even have weird dreams about it. The good part is that I scheduled an appointment at a good doctor at a clinic, so I don’t have to worry about the quality of the work, I just have to endure the fear and the pain.

I decided that it’s time to face things as they are. It’s not okay to keep postponing tasks that should have been done sooner, especially in regards to health. Dental care should be essential, not optional.

Decisions should be taken NOW

I could have visited the dentist when I had caries, but I haven’t. I could have visited the dentist to repair the tooth, but then I haven’t. I could have visited the doctor when I had to extract the tooth, but I haven’t. Now I have to go for a surgery, because God knows what else could go wrong after that.

We often tend to postpone medical check-ups because they are scary, and we are afraid of what could go wrong. In time, we managed to see this fear at our loved ones, in the family. Parents, grandparents had this fear and somehow sent it back to us.

At times, we even admired them, saying: Ohh, she was such a kind woman, she never complained in her life about any pain and found the strength to move on. In the end, she died of cancer at an early age.

How do you explain that? Sorrow gained strong into her heart, and in time it proved that it was too much to handle. Nobody knew her pain and nobody was there to listen to her side of the story. The tears shed in loneliness, the hard times, were only hers and God was her only friend.

Ignorance could lead to higher pain

We have a low pain? Ahh, let’s ignore it, it’s probably nothing, it will go away from its own. Hiding the pain thoroughly, faking that we are fine and just tired. Most of the time, this is not how it works. Ignoring the early signs of an illness could lead to complications in time.

If our body is in pain, often, it tries to tell us something, to send a signal. Ignoring the pain and moving forward, could be a step backward and do more bad than good.

Conclusions

We are stuck in this body until our last breath. It’s our priceless possession and it’s ours until the very end. Taking the best decisions for ourselves, choosing health instead of something that could harm us should be the main priority.

Yes, we have tasks to take care of and yes we do work. But this is not a reason to forget about ourselves, we matter. Let’s be considerate of the fact that if something goes wrong with our health, there is nobody to replace us.

Dreams do come true?

Last night I had a weird dream. A heavy dream.

I dreamed that I was struggling to climb a rough, muddy hill. The path was harsh, there were obstacles along the way, rocks falling down and that it was really cold.

I also dreamed that the hill was so slippery and slimy, and even if the journey was so hard I still got to arrive at the top where a long and scary crocodile met me on the way.

I was so happy that I managed to arrive at least at the top but I was so frightened when I encountered the forceful animal.  The animal though did not try to bite me or fight with me, he just chased and followed me along the way.

The new path on the top was green and beautiful, surrounded by amazingly old buildings and stones. It felt like every single one of them had their own soul and purity, bringing magic to the place.

I was so disappointed though that I could not be free and eventually team up with the crocodile. His deeds were bad and cruel, bringing up to life stoned creatures and stealing their kind soul away.

One by one, the stones became cold and scary creatures and the crocodile was bringing them to life despite their will.

During the dream I felt so many things, that I cannot even explain. I felt sadness, disgrace, joy and then fear, unwillingness and helplessness.

I don’t even know how to understand this dream and how to explain it. All I know is that I felt it and just want to know the path to escape the crocodile.

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(Image Source – Unsplash)

Fricile noastre cele mai intense/Our deepest fears

Ni s-a intamplat de multe ori, sa fim cuprinsi de sentimente de frica. Dar ce este si cum se manifesta frica?!

Conform Wikipedia, Frica este un mecanism de supravietuire ce apare ca raspunsul unui om la o amenintare, de obicei negativa. Aceasta depinde de la o persoana la alta si poate varia de la prudenta la fobie si paranoia.

Initial apare informatia terifianta ce mai apoi se transmite catre centrii nervosi. Treptat, frica actioneaza de la stadiul mental la stadiul fizic, modificand ritmult cardiac (palpitatii), prin cresterea sau scaderea temperaturii si prin aparitia balbaielii. Unele persoane paralizeaza cand se confrunta cu o frica, nemaiputandu-si misca macar un deget.

In momentul cand se instaleaza frica, actioneaza un stimul denumit cortizon, numit si hormonul stresului ce creeaza probleme in sistemul imunitar.

Astfel, frica poate fi de mai multe tipuri: frica de disparitie, de moarte; frica de mutilare; frica de pierdere a libertatii; frica de abandon; frica de umilire.

Exista situatii in care frica declanseaza pofta de mancare sau invers, persoana isi poate pierde apetitul – Aceste situatii fiind starnite de localizarea fricii in zona Plexului Solar.

Plexul Solar – este situat in abdomen, in partea superioara, in spatele stomacului, in punctul in care coastele incep sa se separe. Este o retea de nervi din componenta Sistemului Simpatic. Plexul Solar este compus dintr-o substanta cenusie, asemanatoare cu cea a celorlalte creiere.

Cum combatem frica?

In primul rand trebuie sa intelegem ce provoaca aceasta frica si cum functioneaza. Cand ne concentram pe o emotie aceasta se amplifica (efectul de lupa). Cu cat ne gandim mai mult la o temere, cu atat ne cream scenarii si idei despre ceva ce s-ar putea intampla intr-un viitor apropiat.

Frica nu este decisa de realitatea din viata noastra ci de scenariile pe care noi le cream, acestea se hranesc cu mintea noastra. Cu cat dam mai multa atentie acestei situatii, cu atat ne compromitem sanatatea si gandirea.

Pentru a scapa de frica trebuie sa ne concentram atentia pe un alt scenariu, inducand in mintea noastra idei noi, pozitive si relaxante. Trebuie sa petrecem un timp cu noi insine, autoanalizand situatia si identificand curajul de a depasi circumstanta mergand inainte.

„Da piept cu cele mai mari frici ale tale. Dupa aceea, ele nu vor mai avea forta asupra ta iar tu vei fi liber” – Jim Morrison

English version

It has happened to us many times, to feel fears. But what is it and how does fear manifest itself ?!

According to Wikipedia, Fear is a survival mechanism that appears as a man’s response to a usually negative threat. It depends on one person to another and can vary from prudence to phobia and paranoia.

Initially, terrifying information appears, and then it is transmitted to nervous centers. Gradually, fear acts from mental stage to physical stage, altering heart rhythm (palpitations) by raising or lowering temperature and balancing. Some people paralyze when faced with a fear, not even moving a finger.

When the fear occurs, a stimulus called cortisone, also called the hormone of stress that causes problems in the immune system.

Thus, fear can be of several kinds: fear of extinction, of death; fear of mutilation; fear of losing freedom; fear of abandonment; fear of humiliation.

There are situations where fear triggers appetite or vice versa, the person can lose their appetite – These situations are triggered by the location of fear in the Solar Plexus area.

Solar plexus – is located in the abdomen, in the upper part, behind the stomach, at the point where the ribs begin to separate. It’s a network of nerves in the Sympathetic System. The solar plexus is composed of a gray matter, similar to that of the other brains.

                                                             How do we fight fear?

First of all, we need to understand what this fear is and how it works. When we focus on an emotion it amplifies (the effect of the magnifying glass). The more we worry about, the more scenarios and ideas we get about something that might happen in the near future.

Fear is not determined by the reality of our lives but by the scenarios we create, they feed on our minds. The more I pay attention to this situation, the more we compromise our health and thinking.

To get rid of fear, we must focus our attention on another scenario, bringing in our minds new, positive and relaxing ideas. We have to spend time with ourselves, self-analyzing the situation and identifying the courage to overcome the circumstance going forward.

„Face your greatest fears, then they will not have force on you and you will be free” – Jim Morrison

(Image Source – Unsplash)