Friday, September 27th. The day when autumn is persistent in the soul and outside. One can clearly feel the gradual drop in temperature, the summer season giving way to the crumbling autumn.
I started the week on Monday, but I have no exact notion that can prove the passage of time, at least, I didn’t feel it. Day by day, hour by hour, being caught up in the same activity that seems to continue forever.
Every day has the same nuances, the same vague happenings, the same hours spent in the hourglass. With eyes stuck in the monitor, paying attention to clients and their special needs, explaining in another language abstract and precise notions related to the IT area.
It is said that time goes by quickly when what you do is pleasing to you, but can it do it endlessly? Hm, maybe I just got bored, doing the same monotonous activity every day, speaking the same meaningless words as a programmed robot.
The home is cold. As if it had lost its charm since the last unfavorable family event, it seemed to stop shining. Gray and unintelligible dreams make their way through the subconscious, awakening my senses but without any meaning, leaving me cold and confused.
Ineffable desires and random ideas
I wish I could close my eyes and escape from this cruel reality, which practically draws life away from me, drop by drop. I wish I could regain my joy beforehand, to see the spark of happiness in every smile.
I would like to enjoy again the „curtain” of safety and joy displayed on the faces of the known persons. I would like to go back to my childhood, where I did not know about falsity and cowardice, arrogance and lack of common sense, where everything seemed perfect, in a world full of imperfections.
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Wishes, wishes and wishes, which of course will never be fulfilled. The world is false, it wears masks and it is hidden. On the one hand they wants to enter into your soul, revealing the secrets you have gathered for a lifetime, and on the other they turn their back and laugh at your own suffering.
It is said that it is best not to show yourself to the world, to be indifferent and apathetic. Attributes such as naivety, childhood, indecision have nothing to do with our dictionary. But how can you hide something that is part of us? You can’t mask a good soul.
The world will never stop uselessly analyzing and commenting on situations and unknown people without the knowledge of the cause. At the end of the day it is important to become aware of what is inside you, the qualities and what made you become the man you are today.
A quote says: „At the bad worker during fall the heart cries” I believe that the bad workers are represented by the false world and the heart and the fall are in fact the broken souls in the process. And as the leaves decompose during the migration from autumn to winter, so will the world at some point in life, destroyed by its own deeds.
(Image Source – Unsplash)