Golden

It’s an extremely busy time at work during the holiday season, as everyone wants to buy gifts for their loved ones, but unfortunately, there are accidents during this process. This is where we, the customer service team come in.

I spent my previous days working and reading, and I was caught up in so many assignments and activities that I didn’t even realize how overwhelming and exhausting it was for me.

Getting annoyed with little things, shouting at everything else around me that could make me distracted, and wanting to do more than I could. I wanted to go this extra mile to prove myself, to show what I’m capable of, and to improve, to be stronger.

One little thing I forgot about in this whole process was myself. I forgot to smile, to be happy with myself and my work, and wanted more; more numbers, more quality at work, it’s never been enough.

To some extent, I’ve grown bored of constantly doing the same thing and getting irritated, and I just decided to listen to some music when I was working, to de-tension myself.

Music inspiration

Scrolling through YouTube’s varied music collection, I discovered Harry Style’s ‘Golden’ song. In the beginning, I was all right, that sounds interesting. But then, as I was working, I heard myself singing his lines. It wasn’t me at all and believe it or not, I got more positive and happy to help out customers.

Eventually, I took a break and wanted to watch his music video while I was at it and I loved it very much, it was like a breath of fresh air.

I got out of the stuffed apartment mentally, this place where I spent so many days during this pandemic, and now having to work from home. I have forgotten about my unhappy customers, about the numbers that are never enough, about quality and productivity.

I found myself running virtually on unfamiliar streets with this crazy guy, breathing fresh air, enjoying the sunset, and escaping the harsh routine. I got lost in his smile, and I just couldn’t realize why he’s so cheerful and carefree when I’m trapped in the flat, faking a happy fulfilled life.

It really makes me think about my past and my actions, and how I could have changed my life for the better if I had taken different decisions. Why am I not spending my golden years in a different place, and why am I continuing to hide from this wide world in a tiny town…

Eventually, I went back to work and reality, except this time with new ideas and more energized and feeling like I’ve experienced something new. Harry’s Style of looking at life.

At the end of the day, we’ve got to dare to be courageous, different. Even if it could mean being alone or hurt or ignored for a brief amount of time. People are always going to have something to tell about things and about us.

It’s about how we have decided to respond to these things and what makes us happy. 

Questions, questions

I have been told once by a person that I used to like that I don’t know what I want, and that I tend to hover a lot about powerful decisions. I guess that his acknowledgment got me off guard at that time, and accepted it as a truth.

I am only 24 at this moment, but things started making sense, and I got to have my own opinions about what I think, about the world and myself. I am not perfect, I got my big life full of messy things, and I continue making mistakes and learning from them.

I never actually knew what I wanted from life, truthfully speaking. I only learned as I went, stepping on shards of glass and at times, found my comfort zone on a fluffy carpet.

Life has thrown me out into circumstances that I did not realize I could go through, I laughed at the danger, trusted unworthy people, smiled when life got critical and said thank you to enemies.

One normal person could say that I am crazy and maybe, way too naive for this mean world, but hey, that’s just me. I don’t know for how long I can keep the spark of goodness within me, but I know that I still want to be kind, when everybody else is yelling and swearing around me.

If I don’t always have answers to life’s biggest questions, it’s okay. Nobody really knows anything, we discover as we go. Clues and hints are present at all steps if we have faith and believe in ourselves.

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At the end of the day, you need to take some for yourself while sipping that hot cup of tea, and understand that you only need to live for now, without worrying about what you want, but what makes you happy. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

(Image Source – Unsplash, Kira auf der Heide)

My acne story, advises and experience

Hello, my dear readers! So, as you might know from the previous posts I have suffered in the past of acne, it is a genetic issue, as my mother had skin problems as well in her early years.

I dealt with acne for most of my early years in college and high school, and at some point, I have to recognize I got used to my condition and tried to find better ways to simply fight through the pain.

As you might think it was not easy, especially at the beginning of the journey when it all started at 13 years old. The bullying, the looks and the strange feelings I had at that time were just unfair and depressing.

It’s been 11 years since all the incidents happened and to be frank, I like to believe I left them behind. I learned that having acne is not necessarily a disease but a condition that affects your whole being, not only the skin affected but the mind and heart as well.

Advises and lessons from my acne journey

You only You only have to not let it get to you so far, to take it as a lesson if you want, take what is best from it and simply move on. If you suffer from acne, as I did in the past you might say that I am wrong or that I am talking nonsense. That is not true, and you know it deep inside.

Yes, the world is harsh and judgmental, yes they do smile in your face and speak behind your back, yes people tend to hurt you at times, but that’s simply how life it is.

The first thing that you have to do in curing the acne problems is healing your mind. The negative thoughts and depression will not get you anywhere, if not worsen the situation. You have to get your shit together, be strong and simply ignore the gibberish people speak.

They don’t know you, they have no idea what you have been through and they don’t care. They simply find a subject that is amusing to them and keep syncing the knife into the wound, like a bad comedian in their shitty play.

So, how about you don’t care about them either? Focus on your mind, study more, investigate more about acne and ways that could get you healed in time. The time they lose in speaking nonsense about you will be the time you enhance your mind and find better ways of being yourself.

Think that your condition is only temporary and will heal in time, but the mean people will stay forever, and become more and more bitter in time, like a bottle of bad wine.

I remember from my condition that strangers used to stop me on the street, give me the advice to follow regarding my condition and find ways to comfort me. If you were me at that time you would probably hate them and wish to disappear.

And yes, to answer their questions a long time after that happened I have tried it all. Medicines, injections, pills, creams, face masks, face serums, oils, diets, and much other stuff together.

Only you know the struggle and sometimes and being a storyteller in front of an anonymous person is not the best answer to feeling better. It’s like you can see in their eyes the pity and the disgrace they feel for you, it’s horrible.

The fact that your loved ones try to care and protect you by treating the matter as if it is not something serious, it’s even worse. It’s like making a huge mess around the house and covering it with a newspaper. Like that’s going to solve anything!

Time brings you peace and healthiness

No matter how inpatient I used to be in my early years, no matter how hard I have tried to fasten up the process of skin healing that did not happen. People take time to heal, and so did I.

After a ton of money spent at the doctors, treatments, diets and numerous attempts to heal the skin, it finally happened. In time my bad breakouts stopped and my face returned to the way it used to be, step by step.

I learned that I have to be very careful at what I eat, at what products I am using for my sensitive skin and that I have to exercise, drink plenty of water and take good care of myself.

God gave me this cross to bear since childhood and I had to wear it on my shoulders until the end. I am not angry or mad at Him for what I have been through because I like the way I am.

Maybe if my skin was perfect I was full of misery on the inside, treating people badly and taking them for granted. I would not have been happy with myself.

When I see people like I used to be in the past, I don’t act like a bad comedian or give pieces of advice. I am aware of one’s struggle and understand the grief inside. I simply look them in the eyes and smile sincerely, wishing a great day.

A random act of kindness can be done without any money or expensive presents, just being true and kind can bring a whole lot of joy.

I am learning every day new tricks and remedies and have to recognize that by every day that passes my skin gets better and I feel happy and content with myself.

So, at the end of this very long post of mine, I want to address this post to people who have been through what I have been, to people who know and understand the feeling of being affected by acne.

Wherever you are, whatever struggle you are going through, you are not alone and somewhere, in this big world, there is a person that understands you and would kindly embrace you and tell you that you are perfect, just the way you are.

With love, Kate.

Image Source – Unsplash