Don’t I get to have a saying in this?

I don’t know about you guys, but for me it has been a long week, starting from Sunday.

 You know that moment when you leave from home but you have no idea when you are returning? When your so glad that you arrived at home but still have chores to do and end up getting in the bed late? When the phone rings in the morning the same awful tune, all over again? Well for me whole week it has been like this.

Don’t get me wrong, I do love my work, even if sometimes is getting too hard to manage the load of tasks. I try my best to do the best I can in a few hours so that I could be happy of my results and so the company.

I also love my lovely family, for which I try to do the best to keep it happy and together, despite the odd circumstances, for better and for worse.

I try to put heart in everything that I do, even if sometimes I should not get involved so much in simple tasks, even if people advise me not to do that. I believe this is the way I am built and a little bit of passion and heart in every single task is not too much.

But sometimes I believe it is time to put a stop to it and refresh the session. Like, get a little time for myself and recover the energy tank, until it will not get empty. And you know also when you make plans and life gets ahead of you?

Yeah, in the past few months I felt like life made a lot of decisions without asking me. I feel like my happy emotions and feelings got away on a big vacation and I am left with the sad ones. Just like in the animation movie Inside Out.

Today a loved person from my family passed away, went in heaven to be with the angels. The funny thing is that I have planned to rest during the weekend and I have never thought even for a second that something bad could actually happen.

I did not get the chance to feel sorry, to cry or to mourn the loss. I was at office, working again and again, speaking too much for a day, forgetting about me and reality. Lately I get the feeling that life is happening and I don’t get to say a word about it. Just accept it and move on. My only question is until when.

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(Image Source – Unsplash)

Thought of the day 20#

Decisions, decisions and decisions, we rule our entire life by those strings. Sometimes I just stay and think, I just meditate about the present period but don’t usually think about future. Quotes say to live in the moment and enjoy the present, but what if sometimes hurried choices contour your life in future?… .

Things are meant to happen in time, one by one, step by step just to be felt and lived in  entire proportion. Patience should be the thing which enlightens our way, always and forever. It’s just sad that reality teaches us this fact, later, when it hurts the most.

We are young, we live and we love. Rules are not respected all the time and are there just for presence, and to be over-passed. When we are young we are free and do almost whatever we want, we go savage and live life to the fullest.

The heart is so fragile and easy to be broken, that we don’t even realize when that happens. It’s all laughs and happiness until left alone in solitude, and your heart just starts skipping a beat. Tic-tac, all the time on the watch of life, but time is always cruel.

We want to make a difference, to be someone, to be independent and fully responsible of our facts and decisions. We want to own the situation and be 100% proud of our development and courage that we have given proof in life, building huge castles of sand.

But castles of sand no matter how huge, they will always collapse at the strongest wave. And those situations you owned in past make no difference in the now situations, the ex future. Young souls are supposed to get crushed, turn into sand and after that be a part of something beautiful and huge again.

That is our life’s trace usually, get up and be awesome, fall back in our knees again, turn into flat sand, and rise again. The heart might get lost sometimes, but we should always use our brains just to get in the fact, accept the reality and move on.

William Shakespeare once written: I must be cruel, only to be kind. One should always be tough with a personal self, just to improve and become better in time.

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(Image Source – Unsplash)