Song of the day #155

WFH and feelings

Hello, dear readers and writers! It’s been a few days since I haven’t posted again. What can I say besides, I had to comprehend my thoughts and take a break.

I managed to successfully finish my last few days at the former employee and start fresh, with the new opportunity arrived. If last week I was struggling with the night shifts, now I am trying to survive like an ordinary human, within day shifts.

This second job is strictly remote for now, but I already love it, the knowledge, the people, everything. I like to think of it as a brand new path with positive outcomes.

Why is better to work remotely?

To me, working from home is like an open door, considering the Covid-19 outbreak and the present situation. The last thing I would want is remaining without a monthly income. I have to contribute to paying the bills and maintaining a living.

Another thing I like, is that I get to keep in touch with my colleagues at work online, and not directly. No, don’t get me wrong, I am the opposite of anti-social but it is less distraction online, I can focus better on my tasks and be more productive.

Being at home allows me to create my own environment for work. For example, feeling at ease with the space I work in, having the possibility to air the room whenever I want, or even choosing the exact amount of light necessary. I get to be cozy and work in pajamas, use a soft pillow for comfort, and even to hug my cat, Fifi, during breaks, of course 😅.

I get to spend time with my family, which, at the last company was almost impossible to accomplish. If I have something important to perform regarding personal matters, I can take my laptop and work from any place with a good connection to the internet.

I don’t have to wake up early to prepare for work, chose the clothes I wanna wear, or do my makeup. Last week, I had to move for some paperwork, and believe me, the traffic is horrible and the crowds in public transportation are exhausting.

What changed during the transition

I get the feeling that something is changed now, as I am used to working on night shifts, staying away from family, having to run to work, and home. I feel like I am a more cold and work-oriented person than I’ve been before.

At times, I don’t even know how to react in certain situations, considering the fact that I’ve been away for that long. I was used to being lonely during the night shifts, and now all of a sudden, I have people around me.

I’ve got my inner wall built so well around people, that now I wish to be alone with myself more, even if in the past I hated that.

One thing I noticed is that day shifts are more exhausting then night shifts. I tend to want to sleep more or lay in bed. For example, during the night shifts, I had a 6-hour sleep and felt fresh and got a lot done. Now, with the morning shifts, I get to sleep 8 hours, wake up tired and grumpy, I do get work done but not in the same amount.

Resolutions

The last week has been messy and had no order. My next challenge is to get my stuff together and decide on what I want and what people should be around me. Also, I need to switch my sleeping schedule because I am no vampire 😂.

I want to wake up in the morning with an hour later, take a morning walk or run and then take a shower and enjoy my coffee before work. 

You may say, this sounds like a good plan, but let’s see how you are going to pull it through. Well, I am no morning person, but if I am thinking of achieving something, nothing is going to stop me. Anything is better than just pulling through, like a sloth with no orientation or purpose in life.

“It’s not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something.” ―Winston S. Churchill

The next station

There are some moments in life when you feel at stake. For example, when you took a decision that will affect your future, your tomorrow, and your every day. There are acceptable parts of the new choice, but you know that at some point you will have to give up what you once chosen and were excited.

You have evolved now. The old you has made a place for the new you, a more stronger and confident person that is independent and takes decisions for yourself. You believe in your powers and are sure that tomorrow is going to be a successful day and that you are going to give all your best to make it perfect.

But there is also the old you, somewhere hidden through the old cabinets of your self-awareness. That kind and sincere person, honest that made decisions for the best, did not take anyone for granted and accepted that present as it was, rough but real.

During this change, you knew pain and shed tears, learned to work alone, to avoid unpleasant talks behind your back, to adapt to new and to fight, no matter the challenges.

You made promises that you were positively at that time that will come true, gave all that you had, and focused sincerely on the work and results. Everything was working fine, even if it wasn’t perfect.

You had the statistics speak for you, people liked you, and you were happy. Even if the payment was not substantial, you knew that work was all that mattered and that you made a difference.

Unfortunately, life happened in the meantime, and changes were made, unexpected ones. You had to move on, find a new opportunity because the dreams that you were trying to build were not based on a strong foundation, and the block was about to collapse.

You took the heavy work on you, and decided that it’s time to move on. Expected new chances and when the offer came, you just took it, without thinking about the time left on the project or the people. You considered that time flies by, and you can’t miss a one time occasion.

Now, when the time to say goodbye is near, you are just afraid and hesitant. What if the new chance was not as good as you hoped? What if deciding to move on was not the best idea, and you could have stayed and fight until your last days?

People are mad at you, your leave was unexpected, and it is understandable. The initial promises were torn apart, your willingness to fight through any storm with the team vanished under a thin cloud of helplessness. But there is nothing that you can do now, moves were made.

You will soon be stepping on a new ground, paved with brand new hopes and dreams, and who knows, maybe a better future. Decisions were made by being aware of the present, and even if the set apart is painful, you had to.

It’s time to pack up your things, brace yourself and move on the next train. You will remain with the good times, the happy memories, the laughs, and the best moments spent together.

The time spent with these people and the company were the best bridge and support for you. You found comfort, kind words and a warm hug where you would not expect.

Be appreciative for what you had and say thank you for everything. For those moments when you spoke the whole day and could not eat or rest because of the stress. For those night shifts when you felt like fading away, for those morning shifts when the sky was black but you still went on.

Be humble and embrace the past experiences as they are a part of you, good or bad. They prepared you for the next journey and life setbacks. You are stronger now.

Keep the best moments in your heart, and move ahead. Wipe off those tears and get your bags, the next station is ahead of you.

(Image Source – Wallpaper Cave)

At peace with myself

Hello, my dear readers! Today is Friday. I don’t know how but after the quarantine lockdown the days appear to move on slower. I notice the day that goes through and I am eager for tomorrow.

As you know from my latest posts, these two weeks have been rough for me and I underwent certain changes. I managed to come more at peace with myself and accept the changes that life brought upon me.

If at the beginning I was confused and did not understand why we’re all of these changes necessary and why was the break down requested, now I come to realize that everything happened for a reason.

Things change, friends leave and life doesn’t stop from anybody, just because we want it. And it’s totally normal to be affected, nothing is more painful to the human mind than a sudden change.

When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.

Lao Tzu used to say that life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. It’s important to not resist them as we are inviting sorrow in. Let’s accept reality as it is and let’s let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.

We are not trapped or locked up in these bones. No, no. We are free to change. And love changes us. And if we can love one another, we can break open the sky.

Am I bored or do I want a change?

Lately, I have had this question in mind. Am I bored? Do I want a change or what is happening with me? I do not know if I am tired of the same routine that I have to do in my everyday life but lately I have had this rush of adrenaline, of wanting to get new stuff done.

I don’t want to get too ecstatic and jinx the things saying that it will all go wrong because it is a weird feeling, kind of never had before, but I feel like I have to do something about it.

At a certain point, I guess I got tired of watching Korean Dramas and doing the same things all over again. It became like a lousy routine that I somehow want to exit. I want a change.

The funny thing is that I don’t even get time to do new stuff, I don’t even get time to do get back with my old hobbies, like drawing, singing or even to write on this WordPress Platform.

I have been so busy at work and it seemed like everybody wanted my help in some sort of way and I had to be all over the places. To be honest, I felt exhausted and this week tiredness accumulated and I just wanted to escape.

I don’t know if I am afraid of the „NEW” or if I am seeking excuses and trying to run away. Somehow is weird because I am the one challenging new stuff to happen, I may be too tired of this blurry present that I am in.

All I know is that I want a change, and if God will want that to happen for me I will embrace it with hands wide open. If the destiny will allow it.

Tomorrow is a new day with new challenges ahead, as I am, again working on my weekend. Maybe new things will happen and change will be inevitable.

(Image Source – Ankhesenamun 96, Unsplash)

First post of 2020

Good morning, dear readers! Or rather, a happy new year, now that we have spent the first hours of the new year. 2020 has arrived quickly in my case, without too much fuss or preparation.

After a few days of visits to parents, relatives and acquaintances, events and cooking and cleaning sessions at home I can honestly declare that I feel tired. Especially since I started work on Monday, which adds to the fatigue and stress.

I managed to fall asleep a few minutes before the new year, at 10:40 PM overwhelmed by too many tasks and a terrible cold. However, my loved ones woke me up exactly a few minutes before the new year.

If in 2019 I had many questions and I was lost in thoughts and situations, 2020 is different, more secure. I started the new year with thoughts of peace. I have a beautiful family, ready to help at every moment, people who love me and a decent job.

I just wish that the year 2020 will be half as good as it was the previous year. Although 2019 has been tougher and more difficult, I can admit that I managed to develop and learn things that I didn’t even dream of.

Conclusions

The year 2020 is ahead of us and we are waiting to write another new chapter in our lives, and the best way to do this is by setting goals.

Time is limited and it does not make sense to waste it with insignificant details from other people’s lives. It is not necessary to pay so much attention to the malicious comments of those around us, lowering our courage and advantage. It is important to find the power to follow our heart and intuition by accomplishing what we aim for.

And if the year 2019 has been a difficult year, let us think that each end has a different beginning, in a continuous cycle. We still have 365 days to face our fears and overcome our disabilities, becoming a better version of us.

Changes are a part of this life, sometimes we have pain, sometimes beautiful things. Often life surprises us and we have both at the same time.

Change can bring fear, but the most frightening thing can be to let fear stop us from growing, evolving and progressing.

And if we make mistakes along the way, that’s fine. Because through mistakes we learn new things, trying new possibilities, working hard and practically changing ourselves and the world that we live in. We do new things, and more importantly we do something that matters.

New experiences and developments will await us in 2020. Let’s enjoy the blessings of the past and accept the promise of the future.

Happy New Year!

(Image Source – Unsplash)

2019 Resolutions, memories and smiles

I will start this post by wishing you, dear readers and bloggers a Perfect Christmas story with your loved ones, health and happiness.

I will start this way because, again, I did not have enough time to blog on before the winter holidays, to share new information and to find myself with emotion in the posts of my fellow bloggers.

In today’s post I will discuss the resolutions of the year 2019, I will practically run memories from the movie of the year in which we are still from my perspective.

2019 in a few rows …

When I say 2019, I feel lost in my thoughts and memories because it was a rich year, full of unexpected achievements and things.

I started the year 2019, in posting this so naive and full of courage, as a teenager in the first years of my life, believing that I know everything and that I will find my long awaited answer to my questions.

But guess what? Life surprised me again, hitting me with what she had better, maturing and changing me completely. As for questions, I found some answers, and some I forgot because others reappeared.

The long-awaited job and the answer to my prayers

I started the year 2019 with hope in the soul and without a job, because I came to the conclusion that you cannot be happy and you cannot develop in a place that wants you to be manipulated and subjected to a frustrated boss. Hint: If 10 people left that job in 10 months, this is definitely not the perfect place for you.

After a month of waiting, tips from parents and loved ones regarding the service and how they worked for decades for the same employer began to appear employment requests, calls and urgent requests from various companies.

After a few days of unpaid work with various employers to test the workplace and in particular, the development environment I managed to find an answer that I probably would never have thought of: IT specialist in English.

Me, a specialist in Information Technology? I mean, don’t get me wrong, but I have studied Food Industry and Engineering since I know myself, working in laboratories and being dedicated to this field.

When life gives you lemon, learn to make lemonade …

The time has passed and if at first the subject to be learned seemed to me stubborn and unintelligible, I gradually came to understand and then to love the work that I do every day, for hours.

More than that, the workplace is close to home, the temperature in the building is pleasant and the working environment is conducive to the development and formation of a successful future career.

I consider myself lucky to have understanding bosses, who always help and support the employees, offering them support and trust. As for colleagues, I can say that I have never formed a better team, that I have never met more beautiful people to the soul and more worthy of respect.

From February to December, 11 months passed without me realizing this job. God has given me the perfect place to grow and move on, in a new direction that I never even thought of.

The family and the hardships sent from above …

In 2019 the family also played a very important role, being tried by troubles and sorrows. I lost two very important people this year, who are deeply missing me and my family, and will never forget.

But I want to believe that absolutely everything happened for a particular reason, and that each person went to a better place, where it had to be.

Conclusions and resolutions for 2020

If in the previous year I wanted a change to occur in my life and met with courage and naivety 2019, driving away negative thoughts and anger, 2020 I want to be distinct.

I wish to read more, to be able to develop myself completely by enriching my vocabulary and discovering a new self, with the changes brought in 2019. Communication is important and I could bring it to another level.

Maybe the year 2019 was a bit brutal and the changes were mostly welcomed, but I wish I could channel this anger and new behavior into something positive, creating a new personality.

Also, in 2019, I started to dedicate a few hours of my life to training, more specifically, physical exercises to straighten the back position because I spend many hours in front of the computer but also for better health.

I would like to continue this program and build myself a proper diet, trying to stay away from carbohydrates and fats.

I will continue to develop this blog as much as possible in 2020, developing myself along with wonderful people who make WordPress a great family.

As for the unknown … I will leave my life surprised this year. 2020 knows best! 🙂

(Image Source – Unsplash)