New week’s resolutions

Hello, dear readers and writers! You might ask why this weekend I haven’t posted anything. The answer is, BREAK, like from everything. I have had such a full week, been caught up in activities at work and house chores that I longed for sleep and rest during the weekend.

Nevertheless, on Saturday I took some time to visit my parents in the countryside, see my relatives and mostly evade the city and the terrible hot drought. The weather was rainy but it was beautiful and chill.

Accept life as it is and make the best of it

The best part is that I managed to find my inner peace and dance with life challenges, be open to new, and somehow, be happy with what life brings upon.

(Image Source – Pinterest)

I managed to finish my treatment for stomach issues, went to the dentist, and established a permanent connection with her (or at least temporarily until my tooth problems will be fully resolved), and found a new job.

Now I have to work on night shifts for the employee notice and get ready for the new post at a different company. Plus perform training sessions and take job meetings. This will mostly be performed on a night shift.

This week will probably be full again, and I will have to face new problems but I am thankful for what life brought upon me, and for God’s favors, we always fail to say thank you and pray only when in need.

Resolutions for a new week

At the end of the day we have to be thankful for what we are now, and keep fighting for what we want to be tomorrow. And learn to begin every day with a grateful heart. Always be appreciative for what we have, many people have nothing.

At times happiness comes when we stop complaining about the troubles we have and offer thanks for the troubles we don’t have. As Oprah Winfrey said, we need to be thankful for what we have; we’ll end up having more. If we concentrate on what we don’t have, we will never, ever have enough.

Be true to yourself, help others, make each day your masterpiece, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good books – especially the Bible, build a shelter against a rainy day, give thanks for your blessings and pray for guidance every day. 

Life hardships

At times, we get the feeling of being alone. We get so caught up in the day by day routine and try to make a difference that we forget about ourselves, or the loved ones, that is.

It seems simple to change the shifts at work, to do our best to be in 10 places at the same time, being a superhuman trying to achieve greatness, and see people satisfied around us.

But one thing that we fail to realize is that no matter how hard we try, at some point, something is going to go wrong. It is impossible to be perfect at work and keep a happy family, performing house chores, cooking, and also be focused on our self-development.

It is too much for our being, and to be honest, sleeping just 5 to 6 hours per day, working on night shifts, and having multiple tasks can be a burden. It may seem manageable at the beginning, but trust me, it is not that simple.

Do your best and focus on the present

We need to realize that there are dark and alone times when we have to move forward to pursue our journey, even if it’s sad and lonely for the moment. The beauty in the light at the end of the tunnel is worth every sacrifice we thought we have made.

Occasionally we may feel that we are lost and alone. But God knows where we are and has a good plan for our future. It’s important to acknowledge that some steps need to be taken alone. It’s the only way to figure out where we need to go and who we need to be.

The answer is deep inside us, and the loneliness is just passing by. Our loved ones will understand our situation, and will support us. The rest are present for a moment of our life, not meant to stay.

(Image Source – Unsplash,
Caleb Frith)

Wednesday thoughts

Hello, dear writers and readers! It’s been again a few days since I haven’t managed to post so much, mostly because of the busy work schedule and the other life challenges. I hope you’ve been well, and I missed you!

As you know from my previous posts, I have been through some rough times, health issues, and work changes. I still have mountains to climb, to say so, but I have more courage now. My health issues are not entirely resolved, but I have faith that this too, shall pass.

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If I have learned something from the recent life events, is that I don’t need to be such a scared chicken and accept the reality. At times, we are so afraid and worried about what could go wrong that we tend to forget what got us there in the first place, and what we have fought for.

We need to find the power to sit with the pain until it passes, in this way, we will be more prepared for what comes next. It’s important to acknowledge the fact that great things never arrived from comfort zones.

Pain is inevitable at one moment in life. We can’t avoid it forever. 

Instead of being afraid and running away from the pain, we should focus on the change and what good benefits we can achieve from it.

As Mary Tyler Moore said, The pain nourishes courage. You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you. At times, what hurts us is what heals us. This is why it’s essential to find the inner strength to fight the odds against us and to oppose it when it’s the case.

We are in charge of our lives, and our decisions may transform tomorrow in a brighter day, full of hope and success. We simply need to believe and to stay focused.

Baby steps

Make today a decision that will change your life, a tiny one. Change your computer password to a NewBeggining#100, dare to address your fears, and fight through the pain.

Although today may not offer you that many expectations, hang in there. Tomorrow is coming, and a new change stands in front of you, with a brighter sun and a milder rain. Dare to have a daydream and allow yourself to evade from the daily routine.

Allow yourself to prosper and have only good thoughts. Ignore that man or that woman that said something hurtful to you. At times, the offensive words are not oriented to you, but to them directly. See positive things happening, and they will not cease to appear.

Anxiety and fear

Hello, my dear writers and readers! It’s been a full week going on, and I haven’t posted so much because of my worries and stressful tasks. At times, I just wanted to get my things done so that I can relax or better said, sleep. It was a good plan altogether but it did not work as I have planned.

As you know from my previous posts, I have been excited about returning to the dentist and had my hopes up. That lasted just until I have arrived at the cabinet, of course. On that day it rained a lot, hence I had to walk because I missed the bus, took a tooth radiography, and went to the dentist.

Unfortunately, this lady had an examination team over to their cabinet, due to the Covid-19 Situation, and I had to wait for two hours in the rain and cold. In the morning when I left it was like 30 degrees Celsius, and then it turned out to 15.

When I arrived to see her, I don’t know if I was shaking because I was afraid of the procedure or because of the cold weather. She felt pity for me, and we eventually, had to reschedule the tooth surgery because I have also had an infection. Great!

Now a new treatment is required, and I haven’t even managed to finish the one for chronic gastritis and H. Pylori. This stress and anxiety made it worse for the stomach affection, and now it hurts again.

I’ve been alone mostly this week, and I just felt so stressed about work, knowing that the project will end in a few months, and I have had so many negative thoughts in my mind, that I almost can’t describe. I’ve even considering applying for other jobs to be assured in the future.

Plus, I have to work two weekends, and we should return to the office, things that I can’t do yet because of my tooth infection and the medical procedures. This, and because the office has the air conditioner too strong.

This week I felt the need to cry, to scream, to disappear. I feel so overwhelmed with everything, and I am very anxious. But this needs to end, and I have to get back on the right track. Even if it’s hard and painful, I have to be faithful and trust God, knowing that this too, shall pass.

(Image Source – Unsplash, Katherine Gu)

Medical worries

Hello, dear readers! I am sorry for not posting in a week, I have been busy with work and house chores, as always in this period. What is different in this period is that I am more stressed and worried.

Last week I decided that it is time to go and see a dentist. It’s been years since I avoided that place but it is time to realize that it’s necessary. Mostly because I have caries and two teeth that have to be removed. It’s painful, uncomfortable and something I have to take care of as soon as possible.

To be honest, I am a little bit scared and even have weird dreams about it. The good part is that I scheduled an appointment at a good doctor at a clinic, so I don’t have to worry about the quality of the work, I just have to endure the fear and the pain.

I decided that it’s time to face things as they are. It’s not okay to keep postponing tasks that should have been done sooner, especially in regards to health. Dental care should be essential, not optional.

Decisions should be taken NOW

I could have visited the dentist when I had caries, but I haven’t. I could have visited the dentist to repair the tooth, but then I haven’t. I could have visited the doctor when I had to extract the tooth, but I haven’t. Now I have to go for a surgery, because God knows what else could go wrong after that.

We often tend to postpone medical check-ups because they are scary, and we are afraid of what could go wrong. In time, we managed to see this fear at our loved ones, in the family. Parents, grandparents had this fear and somehow sent it back to us.

At times, we even admired them, saying: Ohh, she was such a kind woman, she never complained in her life about any pain and found the strength to move on. In the end, she died of cancer at an early age.

How do you explain that? Sorrow gained strong into her heart, and in time it proved that it was too much to handle. Nobody knew her pain and nobody was there to listen to her side of the story. The tears shed in loneliness, the hard times, were only hers and God was her only friend.

Ignorance could lead to higher pain

We have a low pain? Ahh, let’s ignore it, it’s probably nothing, it will go away from its own. Hiding the pain thoroughly, faking that we are fine and just tired. Most of the time, this is not how it works. Ignoring the early signs of an illness could lead to complications in time.

If our body is in pain, often, it tries to tell us something, to send a signal. Ignoring the pain and moving forward, could be a step backward and do more bad than good.

Conclusions

We are stuck in this body until our last breath. It’s our priceless possession and it’s ours until the very end. Taking the best decisions for ourselves, choosing health instead of something that could harm us should be the main priority.

Yes, we have tasks to take care of and yes we do work. But this is not a reason to forget about ourselves, we matter. Let’s be considerate of the fact that if something goes wrong with our health, there is nobody to replace us.

Getting out of the comfort zone

Hello, my dear readers! It’s been, again, a few days since I have not posted anything. I think that since the H. Pylori post I stopped somehow from sharing my thoughts, felt like I was giving too much information. I did not have enough energy to continue and neither the time.

Today, I decided to come back, for one obvious reason, that I missed the blogging activity, and mostly, missed sharing my thoughts with you, out there, wherever you are.

Rough days going on

Changes in the food intake

I have to be honest with me, and to recognize that the past few days were not easy. I have started the treatment for gastritis and H. Pylori and further, decided to go on a regimen, cutting out the unhealthy, acidic foods that were causing more harm than good.

Sounds easy, right? Well, it is not. I am not smoking or drinking, but giving up on coffee was harder than I initially thought, as in the past I was drinking even up to 5 cups of coffee a day.

Initially, I considered that I would simply drink green tea to replace my morning coffee. Oh well, it took me 3 days to realize that I cannot function like a normal being without the coffee intake and that drinking green tea in the morning also harms your stomach (with a banana eaten prior).

In the end, I decided to have one small cup of Cappuccino per day, but doubling the milk portion. So far, so good, I have almost a week of drinking only one cup of this drink and it keeps me energized. Well, half of it, but it still works better than green tea.

I also managed to cut out on the unhealthy, acidic meals like fried foods, fast food, pasta, bread, apples, tomatoes, instant soups. Long story short, I only resumed at soups, dairy products, boiled meat, boiled vegetables, salads, bananas, and strawberries.

On Saturday, we went to the countryside, after a long quarantine and skipped a few healthy meals plus on Sunday I decided to eat a pizza and have an ice cream. Sounds great, but my stomach was down on Monday, I had gastric burns and high gastroesophageal reflux, basically I could not stand straight.

I got to say, I learned on my own skin that skipping meals, eating unhealthy foods, being stressed is not going to take you anywhere, and it is essential to attend all meals of the day.

Workplace emotions

As you know from my previous posts, I was working as a Service Desk agent at a corporation for more than a year now. I had a great team, exceptional people to share the good and the bad moments. I was happy with what I was doing and had faith that things will go the right way.

Last week, we have received the notice that our project will end this year and that we will have to focus on applying on new available posts and changing the jobs. The news shocked all of us, and made us think, what will we do?

With the help of my manager, I decided to take responsibility and apply to one of the available jobs. I had applied for another post prior, and did not make it through, unfortunately. The refusal affected somehow my hope, speculating that maybe I will never advance in the company, and that my work is not being taken seriously.

Despite my thoughts, I have won the contest and I am a part of a new team, of a higher level that will help me progress in my career and will offer an assurance that tomorrow, I will still have a job.

Don’t get me wrong, I am happy with my career advancement but it all arrived as a shock, to me and our team. I cannot believe that yesterday we used to be a co-operative team, worrying for one another and supporting ourselves, and today we have to separate all the ties that got us together in the first place. If we won’t life will do it for sure.

It’s being said that we only have in our life the persons that we need for a certain amount of time, when we are down and require their positive energies. This team helped me heal my wounds, forget about the negative past encounters, and stood beside me, helping me to improve.

They were real friends and amazing colleagues, and I will always be thankful for their presence in my life, no matter what. They were God’s beautiful present for that time.

Conclusions

At the end of the day, we have to realize that it’s important to get out of the comfort zone, even if that means giving up on what was yesterday. We have to be honest with ourselves, recognize what we want, and take risks.

Sometimes, it is good to find ourselves in uncomfortable situations because it is in finding our way out of such difficulties that we learn valuable lessons. It’s time to stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and think about what can go right.

Scrisoare catre subconstient

De ce iti este frica, draga subconstient? De ce te temi atat de rau sa fii tu insuti, sa crezi in tine, sa prosperi? Oare nu stii ca tu detii puterea suprema si ca fara tine sunt nimic? De ce tinzi mereu catre negativism si nu vezi si partea pozitiva?

Am incercat zilele acestea sa fac un exercitiu si m-ai surprins, dar nu in bine. Nu puteam credea niciodata ca inauntru poti fi atat de fricos, atat de speriat de schimbare si atat de centrat pe a fi si a deveni un nimic.

De ce vrei ca totul sa se intample dupa cum binevoieste vantul si sa te lasi purtat ca o frunza uscata de vantul rece? Oare nu stii ca tu detii puterea si ca impreuna putem fi de neinvins?

Dar tu, subconstient esti diferit de mine in prezent. Esti o fire timida si ascunsa, care nu are incredere si se clatina la prima amenintare din afara, daca ai putea mi te-ai duce in neant si nu te-ai mai intoarce.

Oare nu stii ca mereu, impreuna am realizat lucruri care numai in vis ni se pareau reale? Mai tii minte cand obisnuiam sa plutim peste realitate si sa imbratisam prezentul ca pe un dar oferit de Dumnezeu?

Sa fiu sincera, nici nu stiu cand mi te-ai schimbat atat de mult, draga subconstient. Ai devenit o latura de-a mea atat de intunecata si inchisa incat uneori imi este greu sa te identific, imi este greu sa te ascult in singuratate.

Se spune ca atragem ceea ce gandim si ca tu, subconstient, ai o putere infinita in a atrage lucrurile spre a deveni realitate. De ce doresti sa imi aduci numai tristete si lucruri negative? De ce vrei sa ne chinuim intr-un viitor sumbru?

Da, am facut greseli si da Dumnezeu stie cat de mult am luptat pana in prezent pentru a ajunge aici. Unele lupte au fost date de Dumnezeu, unele ni le-am creat noi luandu-ne viata in maini.

Uneori adevaratele lupte trebuie duse de Dumnezeu, nu de noi. Si noi, draga subconstient avem de invatat mult din aceasta pilda.

Haide sa nu mai luptam cu morile de vant si sa cerem ghidare de la EL. Haide sa realizam ca nu suntem singuri in aceasta lume rece si ca avem un ajutor nemarginit, tot ceea ce trebuie sa facem este sa credem.

Lucrurile care ne sunt date de SUS sa se intample, ni se vor intampla, cele posibile se vor materializa in timp in functie de ceea ce atragem noi sa se intample. Haide sa nu mai visam la lucruri imposibile deoarece in timp, putem rani sufletul altor persoane din egoismul si dorinta noastra absurda, de moment.

Astazi iti propun sa facem un pact, draga subconstient. Haide sa alegem calea potrivita pentru noi, sa eliminam negativismul si gandurile sumbre, sa privim inspre viitor cu speranta si incredere.

Sa ne propunem idealuri realiste sau chiar nerealiste dar cu scopul de a nu lua niciodata de bun sau sa gandim egoist asupra persoanelor daruite de Dumnezeu in acel moment. Sa avem sufletul pur, si sa gandim cu inima atunci cand luam decizii ce ne-ar putea afecta viata pe termen lung.

Pentru ca doar impreuna putem face o diferenta si ne putem schimba viata si viitorul intr-o secunda. Haide sa fim din nou o echipa si sa lucram impreuna!

(Image Source – Unsplash, Daniel von Appen)

Ganduri lenese de luni

Astazi este din nou, luni. Spun din nou deoarece nu mai stiu cand trece timpul asta, simt ca nu apuc niciodata sa ma bucur pe deplin de momente, sa traiesc zilele care se scurg din calendar.

As mai dormi, m-as mai intinde in pat avand in vedere ca in cateva ore trebuie sa ma pregatesc iar pentru o saptamana nesfarsita de munca cu program incarcat de core hours. Dar nu-mi gasesc starea, simt ca ar trebui sa fac ceva si eu stau.

Asa o stare de neputinta si de nechef imbinata cu o neliniste de mormant nu am mai avut demult, sau chiar niciodata. Consider ca si cei din jurul meu au aceleasi sentimente deoarece ii vad, ii aud cum se freamata si nu isi gasesc locul, ca niste insecte pierdute undeva intr-o primavara timpurie.

Mi-as dori sa ma ridic din pat, sa fiu activa si sa fac o diferenta si astazi. Dar fac asta in fiecare zi, si atunci cand am mai putina dorinta de a realiza ceva parca atunci toate prind sens. Ironic, as spune.

Pisica lenesa, Fifi se intinde mieros pe patura moale si fina iar apoi se asterne din nou intr-un somn lung. Capul ii este asezat pe labute iar nasucul ii este oprit in coada stufoasa. Iar eu, privind-o parca nu m-as ridica din pat ca o pisica lenesa si comoda la randul meu.

E luni din nou si eu parca mi-am pierdut orice urma de chef si de energie, simtind doar nelinistea care ma imbratiseaza precum un sarpe, mult prea strans. Se anunta vreme calda totusi, insa nu as vrea sa ma bucur prea devreme.

In ultima vreme soarele si vremea calda au fost precum o himera, aparand si disparand dupa bunul plac, fara a da de stire cand ajunge sau cand pleaca. Mi-as dori sa ma bucur de razele soarelui si sa ma las mangaiata de adierea calda a vantului, dar e trecator.

Acoper raza de soare ce se iveste din geam cu perdeaua greoaie si neagra si ma asez din nou in pat, motaind si bucurandu-ma de cele cateva minute de somn dulci ramase. Este doar o problema de timp pana cand va suna din nou alarma si va trebui sa dau piept cu ziua de Luni cu ajutorul unei cafele amare.

Dar mai am 30 de minute… .

(Sursa Imaginii – Unsplash, DAVIDCOHEN)

Am I bored or do I want a change?

Lately, I have had this question in mind. Am I bored? Do I want a change or what is happening with me? I do not know if I am tired of the same routine that I have to do in my everyday life but lately I have had this rush of adrenaline, of wanting to get new stuff done.

I don’t want to get too ecstatic and jinx the things saying that it will all go wrong because it is a weird feeling, kind of never had before, but I feel like I have to do something about it.

At a certain point, I guess I got tired of watching Korean Dramas and doing the same things all over again. It became like a lousy routine that I somehow want to exit. I want a change.

The funny thing is that I don’t even get time to do new stuff, I don’t even get time to do get back with my old hobbies, like drawing, singing or even to write on this WordPress Platform.

I have been so busy at work and it seemed like everybody wanted my help in some sort of way and I had to be all over the places. To be honest, I felt exhausted and this week tiredness accumulated and I just wanted to escape.

I don’t know if I am afraid of the „NEW” or if I am seeking excuses and trying to run away. Somehow is weird because I am the one challenging new stuff to happen, I may be too tired of this blurry present that I am in.

All I know is that I want a change, and if God will want that to happen for me I will embrace it with hands wide open. If the destiny will allow it.

Tomorrow is a new day with new challenges ahead, as I am, again working on my weekend. Maybe new things will happen and change will be inevitable.

(Image Source – Ankhesenamun 96, Unsplash)

My acne story, advises and experience

Hello, my dear readers! So, as you might know from the previous posts I have suffered in the past of acne, it is a genetic issue, as my mother had skin problems as well in her early years.

I dealt with acne for most of my early years in college and high school, and at some point, I have to recognize I got used to my condition and tried to find better ways to simply fight through the pain.

As you might think it was not easy, especially at the beginning of the journey when it all started at 13 years old. The bullying, the looks and the strange feelings I had at that time were just unfair and depressing.

It’s been 11 years since all the incidents happened and to be frank, I like to believe I left them behind. I learned that having acne is not necessarily a disease but a condition that affects your whole being, not only the skin affected but the mind and heart as well.

Advises and lessons from my acne journey

You only You only have to not let it get to you so far, to take it as a lesson if you want, take what is best from it and simply move on. If you suffer from acne, as I did in the past you might say that I am wrong or that I am talking nonsense. That is not true, and you know it deep inside.

Yes, the world is harsh and judgmental, yes they do smile in your face and speak behind your back, yes people tend to hurt you at times, but that’s simply how life it is.

The first thing that you have to do in curing the acne problems is healing your mind. The negative thoughts and depression will not get you anywhere, if not worsen the situation. You have to get your shit together, be strong and simply ignore the gibberish people speak.

They don’t know you, they have no idea what you have been through and they don’t care. They simply find a subject that is amusing to them and keep syncing the knife into the wound, like a bad comedian in their shitty play.

So, how about you don’t care about them either? Focus on your mind, study more, investigate more about acne and ways that could get you healed in time. The time they lose in speaking nonsense about you will be the time you enhance your mind and find better ways of being yourself.

Think that your condition is only temporary and will heal in time, but the mean people will stay forever, and become more and more bitter in time, like a bottle of bad wine.

I remember from my condition that strangers used to stop me on the street, give me the advice to follow regarding my condition and find ways to comfort me. If you were me at that time you would probably hate them and wish to disappear.

And yes, to answer their questions a long time after that happened I have tried it all. Medicines, injections, pills, creams, face masks, face serums, oils, diets, and much other stuff together.

Only you know the struggle and sometimes and being a storyteller in front of an anonymous person is not the best answer to feeling better. It’s like you can see in their eyes the pity and the disgrace they feel for you, it’s horrible.

The fact that your loved ones try to care and protect you by treating the matter as if it is not something serious, it’s even worse. It’s like making a huge mess around the house and covering it with a newspaper. Like that’s going to solve anything!

Time brings you peace and healthiness

No matter how inpatient I used to be in my early years, no matter how hard I have tried to fasten up the process of skin healing that did not happen. People take time to heal, and so did I.

After a ton of money spent at the doctors, treatments, diets and numerous attempts to heal the skin, it finally happened. In time my bad breakouts stopped and my face returned to the way it used to be, step by step.

I learned that I have to be very careful at what I eat, at what products I am using for my sensitive skin and that I have to exercise, drink plenty of water and take good care of myself.

God gave me this cross to bear since childhood and I had to wear it on my shoulders until the end. I am not angry or mad at Him for what I have been through because I like the way I am.

Maybe if my skin was perfect I was full of misery on the inside, treating people badly and taking them for granted. I would not have been happy with myself.

When I see people like I used to be in the past, I don’t act like a bad comedian or give pieces of advice. I am aware of one’s struggle and understand the grief inside. I simply look them in the eyes and smile sincerely, wishing a great day.

A random act of kindness can be done without any money or expensive presents, just being true and kind can bring a whole lot of joy.

I am learning every day new tricks and remedies and have to recognize that by every day that passes my skin gets better and I feel happy and content with myself.

So, at the end of this very long post of mine, I want to address this post to people who have been through what I have been, to people who know and understand the feeling of being affected by acne.

Wherever you are, whatever struggle you are going through, you are not alone and somewhere, in this big world, there is a person that understands you and would kindly embrace you and tell you that you are perfect, just the way you are.

With love, Kate.

Image Source – Unsplash