Procrastinating

The act of procrastination is defined by the dictionary as the tendency to procrastinate until the power struggle solves it out.

For a long time, I’ve wanted to go back to writing. I kept pushing this impulse and telling myself that it was OK and that I will return to writing shortly. Tomorrow became next weekend, next weekend became the following week, and so on.

Throughout this time, I began writing and deleting, writing and deleting, without ever uploading anything. I’ve been having these dark thoughts and kept telling myself, „What if they don’t like what I say? What if I’m being unfairly criticized for my actions?”

I continued postponing and running away from what I wanted, looking for excuses and telling myself that I needed to accomplish this first, then that. I basically lied to myself and became lost in a pile of excuses running in circles. At the end of the day, it all came back to writing, and I couldn’t get away from it.

I’m not sure how writing helps you, but for me, it always provides a solution to my difficulties and reminds me of my life’s purpose. So, when I take a lengthy vacation from writing and just immerse myself in the daily routine of problems and various duties, I gradually lose interest in what I do and feel that something is missing.

Do whatever you want to do now. There are only so many tomorrows.

Procrastination is a bad habit in our lives. We have a tendency to be fearful and avoid what lies ahead by creating excuses. We have no idea that life has other plans than we had envisioned, and that while we are busy making plans and prioritizing action after action, we are unwillingly being pushed to our next level.

We’re basically piling on more responsibilities, sometimes more than we can do, and most of them are unnecessary. We can’t even accomplish the things we planned to do first because we keep thinking about the one we put off. It’s like two voices singing out of tune, neither sounding good. Instead of fretting about diverse tasks that aren’t working well, start with the one you want to procrastinate on. The one that doesn’t disturb you but leaves you with the lingering longing of „What if?”

It’s okay if it’s taking longer than expected. Success is not obtained overnight. It comes in installments; you get a little bit today, a little bit tomorrow until the whole package is given out. The day you procrastinate, you lose that day’s success.

Remember that someday is not a week of the day, and no matter how hard you try to avoid what is destined to happen, it will still happen one day. It’s time to surrender control and, rather than putting off things, embrace them for what they are and how they make you feel.

Back to blogging: Past swings

It’s funny how I’m always moving on with my life and then retreat to blogging when life seems to challenge me again. After the previous occurring, I kept telling myself that things will work out for the better and that I will find my way eventually.

I am grateful for everything that has happened in the last month. I was given a week off and was able to visit my parents in the countryside to assist them with renovations and other housework. I missed them, and, incredibly, we were able to spend some quality time together after the lockdown.

Work-wise, I was assigned to this new exciting project, and I now have new colleagues and the opportunity to work with great people, apply what I learned at my previous job, and grow.

I’ve also managed to take care of my health by visiting a nutritionist once in a while, exercising whenever I can, and a few days ago, I faced my fears by having surgery to remove my wisdom tooth. This had been a source of concern in my life for several months, and I knew it had to be addressed.

A new path ahead?

Now that all of these issues have been resolved, I have the distinct impression that something from my past is attempting to resurface. It makes no sense to me because nothing has happened in reality yet. It’s just that I keep having these strange dreams in which I have to part ways and take a new path.

I’ve tried to ignore them and focus on the present, but they keep repeating, and my heart prefers to stay there for some strange reason. Aside from that, I’ve been chatting with my friends, and it’s as if incidents from the past keep showing up, and when I reexamine them, I have new resolutions that seem different.

The more I try to disregard them, the more they appear, making me doubt my sanity. I’ve also spoken with a few other people, and they’ve mentioned that this happened to them as well, albeit with minor differences.

According to the horoscope, this is a new turn of fate and it is meant to happen. I’m not sure what new path awaits me and the people I spoke with or what new challenges await us, but all I want is the strength and wisdom to face whatever comes our way.

Resolutions

I’m aware that the new journey is a big step, and it feels regretful to leave everything we’ve built behind and embark on a new, hazy path. It’s essential to be patient and honest to ourselves in the face of any new route that comes your way.

If there is one thing I have learned from this crazy life, it is that we must take risks and move forward, even if this means making mistakes along the way. That is how we grow and become stronger.

We should stop being too serious, curious, and fearful in front of the unknown and instead have fun like a child who keeps swinging into what new challenges lie ahead. And if past encounters keep coming back to haunt us, perhaps it’s just time to face our stupid fears and enjoy life and what God has in store for us.

Quote of the day #22

“Intensive work engagement is an effective medicine that we should use in case of many problems that occur in life.

For example, when you are being treated unfairly at work or going through promotion discrimination, do not despair or complain that life isn’t fair, but rather respond by intensive work, start a new challenging project, enroll in a master’s degree program or in a doctoral program.

Such activities will occupy you completely, so that you will quickly overcome the problem and repair your injured self esteem.”
― Eraldo Banovac

Quote of the day #21

“What do you do when disappointment comes? When it weighs on you like a rock, you can either let it press you down until you become discouraged, even devastated, or you can use it as a stepping-stone to better things.”– Joyce Meyer

(Image Source – Unsplash)

Quote of the day #20

“Garraty wondered how it would be, to lie in the biggest, dustiest library silence of all, dreaming endless, thoughtless dreams behind your gummed-down eyelids, dressed forever in your Sunday suit. No worries about money, success, fear, joy, pain, sorrow, sex, or love. Absolute zero. No father, mother, girlfriend, lover. The dead are orphans. No company but the silence like a moth’s wing. An end to the agony of movement, to the long nightmare of going down the road. The body in peace, stillness, and order. The perfect darkness of death.

How would that be? Just how would that be?”
― Stephen King, The Long Walk

Quote of the day #19

“We shall surely be remembered for something; something good or something bad; something mediocre or something noble; something great or something small! In all things we do, always and always, let us not forget that we shall either be remember for something or nothing, and be it something or nothing, we shall still be remembered!

If you are to be noted for your words, let the words be that which are breath-taking! If you are to be noted for your attitude, let that attitude be that which is solemn and distinctive! If you are to be noted for your thoughts, let the thought be that which gives unique reasons to ponder for distinctive footprints!

If you are to be noted for your deeds, let the deeds be that which touches the heart of Heaven , give noble reasons for action and put smiles on faces (and believing that God sees and rewards every act of good deed)! If you are to be noted for certain stands, let it be that which is either a firm yes or bold no! Always remember, you shall surely be remembered for something or nothing; live well then!”
― Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

(Image Source – Unsplash)

Quote of the day #17

“Water does not resist. Water flows. When you plunge your hand into it, all you feel is a caress. Water is not a solid wall, it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing in the end can stand against it. Water is patient. Dripping water wears away a stone. Remember that, my child. Remember you are half water. If you can’t go through an obstacle, go around it. Water does.”
― Margaret Atwood, The Penelopiad

(Image Source – Unsplash, Vince Fleming)