2022, the year of big changes

This year has begun with me feeling nervous about what I want to do with my life. I was unhappy, despised being stuck in one place, and desired to see change happen.

I started by pushing myself to get my driver’s license, studying daily, and driving around town. I moved past my comfort zone, and my closest ones had no choice but to comply with my new conditions. I worked very hard to ensure that I didn’t cause any problems at work with my hours away while driving.

It took persistence and discipline, and sometimes I felt like drowning. I took this opportunity to improve. Instead of pouring my aspirations and ideas into people who didn’t exactly fit into my life’s purpose, I began writing them down, which proved to work wonders for my own development.

At the same time, I continued to take care of my health, getting several periodic checks and learning more about my body and the lifestyle I should lead to living a long and happy life.

I got to meet new people, but the majority turned out to be lessons rather than long-term relationships. I realized that not every new person you meet is your soulmate and that most of them are sent to wake you up to your destiny and get you closer to your goals.

Work proved to be a challenge, as I had predicted. I took on each new assignment and worked hard to do it as successfully as possible. My team has changed once again, and I’m now working with two incredible colleagues who share the same ideals and are as competitive and fierce as they can be.

The latter part of this year prompted me to prioritize my relationships. Unfortunately, I had to sever connections with people who were no longer bringing me joy. My current relationships are the ones that bloom every day, and fewer feel more valuable and worthwhile. I’ve given away a lot of items that I don’t need or use daily; I took them to the countryside, donated them, and renovated the flat. 

I’ve started reading and trying to understand myself and my past actions. I’ve learned to care for my inner child and to be the person I require the most in times of need.

If last year I discussed the art of giving without obtaining, this year has shown me how vital it is to receive and be appreciated for your efforts. The thing that woke me up was the realization that we can be so kind and provide our time and energy, but we must also be rewarded, whether at jobs or in relationships. If one’s own cup is empty, one cannot just pour into another’s.

Towards the end of this year, I realized that not all new knowledge is beneficial and that we must separate the amount of information we acquire, whether it’s in the form of books, podcasts, TV, or music.

I used to be preoccupied with knowing what would happen next, who would enter my life, and having total control over everything. Now that I’ve stopped the horoscope readings, I’m more at ease, knowing that God’s got this and that I don’t need to rewrite a story that the Almighty has written so wonderfully. I understood that God loves us so much that he sent his own Son to save us; who are we to fear if we are all being guided to our destiny and are constantly cared for?

What will 2023 look like?

I don’t know, but isn’t this the most exciting part?

(Image Source – Alvan Nee, Unsplash)

I will maintain the focus that I gained in 2022. I like this new strong self that can climb mountains, forgive, and live in the now. I will expand intellectually by reading books that pique my interest and grow emotionally. I will continue to be honest and capable, help more people, and get involved in volunteer work.

I want to breathe, be at peace, and be happy. I want to be with people who share the same values and emotions. I will keep praying and thank God for this miracle called life, be more thankful and appreciative of each new day, celebrate every milestone, bring my inner child home, and do the things I’m meant to do in this lifetime; to fulfill my destiny.

Publicitate

Bringing positivity into our lives

I was enjoying my coffee when I stood up and looked out the window. I noticed an overflow of negative thoughts invading my mind and polluting my soul as my body awakened from the effects of the strong drink. I tried to ignore them by planning my daily activities.

As I filled up my notepad, I realized that for every positive activity, a stream of 2-3 negative ideas tainted it and sought to persuade me to change my mind. What if it doesn’t work out? Are you sure that’s what you want? What happens if it doesn’t work? Will you have the time to complete all of that? And it just kept going.

“Negative thoughts come to us all. But when you speak them out loud, you give them life. That’s when they become a reality.”― Joel Osteen, „The Power of I Am”

I believe there is a habit, a strange pleasure that erodes our happiness and satisfaction. Unfortunately, because we all have past experiences, trauma, and generational baggage, not many people have been encouraged to have a positive outlook on life.

The media does not make matters any easier. The Covid pandemic is all over the news; we now have a war, and prices are increasing. We’re watching movies that depict awful events and listening to music with intense lyrics, driving us to relive our darkest moments.

There are toxic people in our lives who prefer to perpetuate negative thinking, and not be embarrassed to express it regularly. Our parents are glued to the television and prefer to believe and live by every word of the poison and terror that the TV speaks of. They continue to transmit negative news to us, and they do it with such zeal that it causes dread and sadness in us as well. 

People became too used to this pattern, developing negative ideas, complaining, gossiping, and distracting others and themselves from their true path.

The fact is that anything we think and affirm comes true. We don’t understand the power of the words we express to ourselves and our loved ones. We are conducted to think negatively, speak negatively, and eventually live the same way.

By engaging in these behaviors and sharing negative experiences with people around us, we are causing ourselves pain. Waking up to this reality is conflictual. Everyone is comfortable in this poisoned environment, at ease with being unenlightened.

“Don’t ever stop believing in your own transformation. It is still happening even on days you may not realize it or feel like it.”― Lalah Delia

Change comes from inside; we won’t enjoy this life if we are filled with negativity. When we struggle to cope with toxic thoughts, too exhausted to think positively, relax. Inviting and attaching unpleasant ideas to previous experiences and trauma will result in bad karma in the future. What we say to ourselves, we’re giving it the right to pass on; we are going to become what we are declaring.

A way to change the focus from negative thoughts is through positive affirmations. They can inspire us to act on our dreams, help us reach our goals, and, most importantly, break the negative cycle that has been running before us.

“I have a good life and the more I become aware of all that is good around me, the happier I feel.” — Gilly Pickup

Too kind

Today, I listened to my father speak about past events and how he felt about them. Going on and on about all the good he did for those individuals (problematic family members) and the time, energy, and resources he poured into them; the more he spoke about all those circumstances, the more he remembered. It was a never-ending loop that kept repeating itself, and I saw a pattern.

My father pitied those people, thinking they were impoverished and incapable of making a living and expressed how he was constantly forced to fend for them, like a brave hero in a movie. I later realized that this game requires two participants, and the truth was that he and my mother were painting the picture for those unfortunate relatives.

The problem was that they did too much, immersing mentally and physically to the point of exhaustion. Those relatives soon realized that they could rely on my parents and began to take them for granted, distancing themselves from their actual lives and living as adolescents rather than adults. When a negative event was to occur, my parents were the escape goat, while they sat comfortably in their place, receiving assistance.

“These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.” – Najwa Zebian

My family has had this savior complex, always being too nice, listening to everyone, being heart and soul in every case, and sometimes offering everything without receiving anything in return. The incident mentioned above is only one example of how their goodness was taken for granted. The bottom line is that they will never be able to awaken until they realize and respect themselves as the individuals that they are. People will continue to walk all over them and „educate” them until they see their value.

Thinking you know better isn’t a solution; it’s when you don’t. Furthermore, pitying individuals and claiming they are in a specific way will not benefit you or the other person. You attract what you think and say, so why not think and talk positively?

„Reminiscence is less an endowment than a disease…” – Thomas Hardy

Another behavior I’ve noticed in myself and others is revisiting the negative experiences from our past. The problem is that by remembering unfavorable memories and feeling negative emotions that once wounded us, we are producing mental health issues (depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder) and future unpleasant situations.

Not only are we stuck, but we are also unable to focus on the present or the future. Negative thinking creates a bad habit that is difficult to break; studies show that the more we relive our negative experiences, the more difficult it is to change our thinking and mental health.

Acknowledge what’s happening, understand why that thought is returning and what you can learn from it, establish a commitment plan, and resolve the concerns that keep you up at night; if it is too much to handle, you can always visit a psychologist and receive help. Give yourself time to relax, meditate, and find ways to distract yourself when negative thoughts arise (call your best friend, exercise, do what makes you happy).

Final thoughts

Recognizing the good in people, being kind, and offering assistance are all necessary; nevertheless, healthy barriers should be in place. Prioritizing your needs, fighting for yourself and your rights, and being the person you need is not selfish. We are all here to serve a purpose, and in order to do so, we must first love ourselves enough to say „NO” and let go when the time comes.

As the example shows, I come from a family that is way too giving, kind, and permissive. Over time, I grew into a woman who loved too much, struggled to learn to stand up for herself, and frequently found herself in negative situations that could have been avoided effortlessly.

A big part of me wishes this hadn’t happened, but without these experiences and memories, I wouldn’t be the person I am today, I wouldn’t have met these beautiful people I’m grateful to have in my life, and I wouldn’t be writing this article. I’m still discovering and growing, learning to be more optimistic with each passing day. Negative thoughts come and go, and I try to filter them as much as possible in order to attract pleasant events and great people into my life.

The journey to loving yourself is not simple, but it is also rewarding. It may come with rude awakenings, salty tears, and the removal of toxic people from your life. It helps you understand how significant you are, how much you matter, how much of a difference you make every day simply by being present and how powerful your inner light is.