I’ve been wondering about it lately, are we cowards? What makes us so fearful of the unexpected, and how can we conquer the harsh moments of anxiety and uncertainty? What are we going to do in the middle? We have two choices. We can either be terrified to the end and find a timid way to retreat, or step up the game and embrace the challenge of reality.

Why apologize? Why act like a victim when there’s nothing you’ve done to change the present?

Like anything in life that is too much, apologizing can have detrimental consequences of its own. Excessive apologies will impact our confidence and consciousness. When the time comes, before saying sorry, we have to ask ourselves, are we guilty for what happened, should we be sorry?

Let’s take some simple examples:

1.We’re in the grocery store, enjoying the good background music without disturbing anybody, while another person appears out of nowhere and crashes into us. We’re sorry and apologize instantly. For what? It’s not like we’ve invited that random person to act like it did, he/she needs to apologize to us.

2. There are days when we’re either overworked, feeling ill, or have a bad hair day. There sure is no reason to excuse, we are who we are and we are people at the end of the day. We should own our look and be happy with us, even if it is not a fantastic day.

3. Moments when we’re invited to birthday parties, clubbing, or going out, but we don’t feel like it or need more time for ourselves. We should be truthful, and instead of lying to ourselves, we should just be honest and let those people who invite us know the truth.

4. Asking a question. We’ve all had those moments when we don’t know a problem and need more explanations. We’re not supposed to care for others who roll their eyes to our lack of knowledge, they’re probably projecting their insecurities. Be the one that stands out from the crowd and questions if that’s how you feel.

5. Not responding to messages/phone calls. This is hard to avoid, considering that many people tend to call or give a message during our work schedule, meetings and even in our spare time spent exercising, relaxing, or busy enjoying what we love. It’s important to realize that we’re humans, too, and just like the person who’s calling/messaging us, we have needs.

Conclusion

Apologizing is necessary in our everyday lives, but it is crucial to keep ourselves in line and identify the times when we can genuinely apologize and when not. Saying sorry for something we haven’t done will carry low self-esteem, and make people believe we’re less worthy.

It’s not easy to change our actions immediately, but withholding excuses can be empowering, according to recent research. Instead of apologizing right away, we should take a deep breath and ask ourselves if we are to blame for this.

At the end of this post, I’m leaving a couple of inspirational quotations about why we shouldn’t be sorry:

  • “Never apologize for how you feel. No one can control how they feel. The sun doesn’t apologize for being the sun. The rain doesn’t say sorry for falling. Feelings just are” Iain S. Thomas, Intentional Dissonance;
  • “The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses.” Bob Moawad;
  • “I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.” D.H. Lawrence, The Complete Poems;
  • “Sorry wastes time. You have to live your life like you’ll never be sorry. It’s easier just to do the right thing from the start so there’s nothing to apologize for.” Jennifer Niven, All the Bright Places;

(Image source – Pexels, Malcolm Garret)

8 Comments on “I’m not sorry

  1. Very well expressed Katherine and with much detail. Entitlement, and over the top political correctness has propelled a generation of truth deniers who for the most part are too arrogant, truth deniers that are even pigheaded about facing reality and when they must it is always much easier to blame! Yes the Blame Game is alive and well and today in spades where if you are in a pissed off mood at the world or not able to cope with the bare facts of having difficulties or problems, then just find someone to blame and accuse of messing with you or even getting in the way in the grocery store!

    To me the nefarious wicked minded evil behind all of this and it does exist; is laughing at all the mayhem as people are behaving like a bunch of caged rats that have been subjected to many irritants and starved beforehand, then set loose upon each other in tight quarters to tear each other a new one; and basically not having a clue are destroying themselves and each other! I see more stupidity and wasted human beings running rampant now than any time in my past and indeed studying history even with less of everything including brains people way back as least had a basic set of rules and social standards that they adhered to with some significant success.

    But nowadays, its really becoming a free for all and do in the other guy before he can do you in contest! I know from where I speak, having been done in that way in a former politically hot government job environment with all sorts of hate, jealousy and backstabbing than anyone should have to put up with in the workplace! And America was so big on the talk of protecting the worker and having all sort of policies instituted to protect rights and safety. None of those came into play for me, quite the opposite; like everyone was in cahoots!

    When you’re in a tight group of politically corrupted people who are insulated you are up a creek as they say without a paddle, unless you are one of them! I wasn’t and want to be so I fought in the end and on my own got some satisfaction in court, though it could have blown up in my face totally; lots of stress and building a legal case over 3.5 years; God was with me and I was a bit blessed, but they took so much out of my hide! Not worth it, and I did it only to survive and keep my home and life in some order! Scary world out there today friend!
    Blessings to you and yours.

  2. People tend to say sorry whenever, except for when they should really apologize, which sometimes turns to be quite difficult. 🙂 It’s important to be polite, but not to sustain a perpetual guilt.

    • Nicely put, Ana! There are moments when saying sorry is hard indeed, but that’s when we can be the strongest ones and simply say sorry. Thank you for stopping by! 🙂

  3. It’s an interesting one, isn’t it – apologising. I know the English are mocked all over the world for our self deprecating manner – and in turn we quietly roll our eyes at those that project bravado or confidence.

    • It is indeed, but also it’s good to focus on what you’re being sorry for. You can’t just be sorry for any fallen leaf or spontaneous action that occurs without your fault. Being too confident isn’t a good thing either, it’s ideal to identify a balance between both.

  4. Sorry is one of them Phrases that we kinda of say jsut to say and have no real meaning be hind it its kinda like a go to bandaid Great writing piece the title caught my attention !

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