I’ve been wondering about it lately, are we cowards? What makes us so fearful of the unexpected, and how can we conquer the harsh moments of anxiety and uncertainty? What are we going to do in the middle? We have two choices. We can either be terrified to the end and find a timid way to retreat, or step up the game and embrace the challenge of reality.
Why apologize? Why act like a victim when there’s nothing you’ve done to change the present?
Like anything in life that is too much, apologizing can have detrimental consequences of its own. Excessive apologies will impact our confidence and consciousness. When the time comes, before saying sorry, we have to ask ourselves, are we guilty for what happened, should we be sorry?
Let’s take some simple examples:
1.We’re in the grocery store, enjoying the good background music without disturbing anybody, while another person appears out of nowhere and crashes into us. We’re sorry and apologize instantly. For what? It’s not like we’ve invited that random person to act like it did, he/she needs to apologize to us.
2. There are days when we’re either overworked, feeling ill, or have a bad hair day. There sure is no reason to excuse, we are who we are and we are people at the end of the day. We should own our look and be happy with us, even if it is not a fantastic day.
3. Moments when we’re invited to birthday parties, clubbing, or going out, but we don’t feel like it or need more time for ourselves. We should be truthful, and instead of lying to ourselves, we should just be honest and let those people who invite us know the truth.
4. Asking a question. We’ve all had those moments when we don’t know a problem and need more explanations. We’re not supposed to care for others who roll their eyes to our lack of knowledge, they’re probably projecting their insecurities. Be the one that stands out from the crowd and questions if that’s how you feel.
5. Not responding to messages/phone calls. This is hard to avoid, considering that many people tend to call or give a message during our work schedule, meetings and even in our spare time spent exercising, relaxing, or busy enjoying what we love. It’s important to realize that we’re humans, too, and just like the person who’s calling/messaging us, we have needs.
Apologizing is necessary in our everyday lives, but it is crucial to keep ourselves in line and identify the times when we can genuinely apologize and when not. Saying sorry for something we haven’t done will carry low self-esteem, and make people believe we’re less worthy.
It’s not easy to change our actions immediately, but withholding excuses can be empowering, according to recent research. Instead of apologizing right away, we should take a deep breath and ask ourselves if we are to blame for this.
At the end of this post, I’m leaving a couple of inspirational quotations about why we shouldn’t be sorry:
- “Never apologize for how you feel. No one can control how they feel. The sun doesn’t apologize for being the sun. The rain doesn’t say sorry for falling. Feelings just are” Iain S. Thomas, Intentional Dissonance;
- “The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses.” Bob Moawad;
- “I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.” D.H. Lawrence, The Complete Poems;
- “Sorry wastes time. You have to live your life like you’ll never be sorry. It’s easier just to do the right thing from the start so there’s nothing to apologize for.” Jennifer Niven, All the Bright Places;
(Image source – Pexels, Malcolm Garret)