I have been told once by a person that I used to like that I don’t know what I want, and that I tend to hover a lot about powerful decisions. I guess that his acknowledgment got me off guard at that time, and accepted it as a truth.
I am only 24 at this moment, but things started making sense, and I got to have my own opinions about what I think, about the world and myself. I am not perfect, I got my big life full of messy things, and I continue making mistakes and learning from them.
I never actually knew what I wanted from life, truthfully speaking. I only learned as I went, stepping on shards of glass and at times, found my comfort zone on a fluffy carpet.
Life has thrown me out into circumstances that I did not realize I could go through, I laughed at the danger, trusted unworthy people, smiled when life got critical and said thank you to enemies.
One normal person could say that I am crazy and maybe, way too naive for this mean world, but hey, that’s just me. I don’t know for how long I can keep the spark of goodness within me, but I know that I still want to be kind, when everybody else is yelling and swearing around me.
If I don’t always have answers to life’s biggest questions, it’s okay. Nobody really knows anything, we discover as we go. Clues and hints are present at all steps if we have faith and believe in ourselves.
At the end of the day, you need to take some for yourself while sipping that hot cup of tea, and understand that you only need to live for now, without worrying about what you want, but what makes you happy. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.
(Image Source – Unsplash, Kira auf der Heide)