Unexpected sadness

You know that moment when you are going on with your life normally? When even if quarantined, you are trying to keep yourself positive and attempting to keep happy and motivated, having good thoughts? And then the world simply falls on your back?

That’s how I feel now.

There are some people in our family circle, that we don’t regularly speak with, some people that chose to stay hidden and live in their small little universe. Those people that deep down you love, and they know it but saying it out loud will not make any difference, for you or them.

But anyway, you are happy knowing that they are fine and feel comforted at the thought that nothing bad is going to happen to them. Until the unexpected happens.

Memories are all the we have

They were the best two friends I could ask for, Costel and Elena. Sons of my mother’s brother, Costica, they were the two special members of my childhood. We did almost everything together, from playing in the yard to pick the apples in the autumn. We even did mud pies together.

Unfortunately, my uncle was alone as his wife left him for another man and the two kids that resulted from their short love remained with him. So, he struggled, as he could to raise the two children, Costel and Elena on his own.

Life was not easy with my uncle as he struggled as he could to work and to bring money on the table. We lived in the same courtyard, but in different houses and always tried our best to help them as we could.

There were good times when my uncle managed to find a nice job and he was happy and brought joy to the kids. But then, there were also the worst moments when he lost the job and he was mean and most of the time scattered the anger on his kids.

And they, Costel and Elena could not do anything. They just sat in a corner of the room with tears in their eyes waiting for their father to calm down and for better times to come. When he was too angry he used to raise the voice at them and even beat them out.

My cousins had a tragic childhood that fortunately for me, I can’t relate to, as my parents were kind and understanding with me. Until 8 years old I grew up with them and shared joy and sorrow together, by comforting one another when bad moments arrived.

And then, after the age of 8 my father decided to move out in our own home. It was a new journey for us, but unfortunately a storm for the cousins. In time, my parents used to invite them to our new home but they could only arrive for a short time, as the uncle found out and banned them from coming to us.

In the beginning, it was hard to imagine a childhood without them, being my best buddies and basically, the two familiar figures that I grew up with. I missed them a lot after that and tried to find new friends.

I could indeed, identify new friends in the meantime but they were not like them. Their kindness and sincerity were hard to find, and real friends don’t just appear out of the blue.

In time though, things changed a lot, I did for sure. And time flew away so fast that I could not even think. Costel and Elena finished school, unfortunately only the first mandatory classes because nobody was able to support them fully.

Elena got married and now she is happy at her home with 3 kids. Costel, unfortunately in his case the situation is different. He ended up performing the heavy works that his body could not sustain and because of the depression and sorrow from his father became an alcoholic.

The sad reality

Last year, on the same day, my uncle died. Today, his son Costel, died as well.
I have just received the bad news from my family. But it’s hard to process it and to think about it, because he was young, only 24. His friends found him dead in the house without any traces or evidence. Then the cops arrived and an investigation is currently conducted.

We don’t know yet if its the Virus or if it’s the other health issues that Costel managed to somehow get during his short lifetime. But I feel sad that I cannot be with him on his last journey as only 8 persons are allowed to go to the funeral, the situation being very strict with the lockdown and everything.

I am still trying to process the information and cannot believe that this happened. He was a good guy and always helped out persons in need, always being there when asked to.

I hope that God will take care of him in heaven and that he will be more at peace than here, on earth, where he had to struggle with his life. Rest in peace, dear soul! 😥

(Image Source – Unsplash,

The Remembrance of the good done those we have loved is the only consolation when we have lost them.” – Demoustier

15 gânduri despre “Unexpected sadness

  1. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss Katherine. 24 years is too young indeed. Sending prayers and thoughts of comfort to you and all of those who are affected.

  2. It’s really sad!! 😦 You know many people won’t valued their life and there are those who wants do anything for happiness of them and people surrounded within them. I just can’t imagine the childhood like that, your cousins tolerate unbearable!! May his soul Rest in Peace!!!

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