Thought of the day 6#

Do you know those days? When you smile and joke with those around you, but inside is something of an endless sadness?

Sometimes I can not explain it. I feel my saturated and disappointed heart, I want something today, but I do not know why I have the feeling that it does not belong to me; or at least it’s mine though it should not be.

I long after smiles, emotions and affection, but I do not understand why … that someone should be my unlimited and infinite, there are moments, events spent together and years of coexistence.

I give everything I have, I give my heart on this person’s tray and I want it next to me 24 out of 24. For me time has not gone, it has flourished, added moments and emotions, feelings and memories.

Only if that person next to me would think the same … I see him every day, staring at a certain „fairy”, like looking for another one. Initially, I did not notice it, drawing attention to other things, looking for a thread of hope and trust, believing in what once united us.

Irrelevant, uninteresting. He is attentive elsewhere, distracted. And me? I’m lost somewhere in the middle, I just require little attention and a little affection, just a little involvement.

I’m not like him, I’m not looking for other princes, I’ve already found the king. It’s just he’s embarrassed, impregnated in strangers, black or blonde ones, one seemingly more captivating than another.

Today I chose to leave the guard down, not to get involved. I’ve come to think of what it would be if …. I saw independence, with 2 jobs, more attentive to one’s own person and personal development.

I do not know why, but when they adopt this „position” they draw people to me. Curious, intriguing and conquering people try to hurt me with their personality, try to be close to me.

And me? I’m no longer fascinated by this kind of thing. My heart is fragile and mature, she received her love of the outside, now she wants family and involvement. My heart wants him, her king …. Let’s hope, however, that it will come back from this whirlwind of youth and realize what’s next to it until it’s too late.